[Arsis_von_Neaera]

Two positives:

1)It's not often I read things word for word. It's even less often that I read things word for word twice. I must admit that I'm somewhat smitten with your writing style. You have a powerful vocabulary that provides vivid imagery to concepts that don't normally strike me as interesting.

2)There's a good bit of philosophy in here that I find remarkably true, though jaded. Much of it's satirical and over dramatized, but for the most part, fairly accurate to some of the philosophies I'm studying. The key difference I notice is very simple, 'cup empty, cup full'. Which I'll explain later.

Other comments:

- I enjoy your character. Half-satire aside, the character is very real, which is something I've noticed some writers struggle with. You obviously didn't struggle with creating the character in this story at all. Your writing and thought processes for said character flowed quite nicely.
- I think the dramatization balances itself out towards the end. Kind of an ObZen happening. I rather like the concept of realizing your dying. It's one I don't get much opportunity to observe, even with the dying.
- I have questions. They might be too personal, but who do you feel like more; the character or the writer? The satire is making fun of yourself more than anything, at least something you once were or something you still contend with yourself over. Have you changed? Are you trying to? Was writing this a way to make that change happen by bringing light to your "plight"? My psychologist is over analyzing.

The story is fantastic. I enjoyed it, twice. Most of the best stories in the world are overly dramatized, yours is just very accurate to the character. It's not often that I get to read the mind of an angry angst ridden, sociopath goth girl.

Shmeh, just thoughts.