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#30
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Suzerain of Sheol
Desolation Denizen
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Well, for a really simple suggestion, I'd look at every use of the word "arm" and consider whether there isn't an alternative you could use, especially at the beginning where it gets repeated so many times. That was the thing that stood out the most to me as I read.
Cold silence has a tendency
to atrophy any sense of compassion
between supposed lovers.
Between supposed brothers.
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Posted 01-25-2012, 06:23 PM
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