[Tiva]

I am not strong, i sunk into depression for close to a year. Then a couple of things happened, one we moved houses, two one of the graduating class died of cancer, and three another of my friends accidentally got part of his left thumb shot off. I had barely passed a class the first semester after and failed my english class the second semester after because a lot of my work was 'too depressing and repetitive' because i talked about my Dad's suicide. At that point I had basically decided that it was life, my Dad was gone and I couldn't bring him back I could either sink down in depression and join him or I could live my life to make him proud. I chose the second because of not wanting to leave my Mom with nothing, she had buried her husband and her father in less than a year I didn't want her to bury her only true child also. I don't consider myself strong, I consider myself to be human.

What most people find weird is that I can sit there and talk about it. Like I have to tell my RA at school why if we are in dorm I may be really quiet, or a professor why I can't watch a suicide in a movie.