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World's Worst!
One of my all time favorite improv games is World's Worst. Basically someone chooses a type of person and then the next person has to say something only the world's worst of that would ever say. (This is NOT meant to be specifically hurtful to any particular person or group, nothing hateful, sexist, racist, homophobic, hopefully you get the idea. This is meant to be funny, not upsetting)
Anyway so say the topic was teacher. Something only the world's worst teacher would say is: Eh, you're never gonna use any of this stuff anyway. Just copy off the person next to you and hope for the best. Then I would give the person after me a topic. I am gonna say... Doctor. Feel free to repeat topics if you can't think of a new one. |
Eh, you don't need your tonsils, your appendix, or one of your kidneys. Let's go ahead and take them out while we're in here.
Architect! |
"Well, you don't *need* those support beams... They'll ruin the 'open floor plan' you asked for"
Hair dresser |
"Well, it looks better in the back than the front."
Commercial Airline Pilot |
"American Airlines is now offering sight seeing tours of Manhattan!"
Disneyland Employee |
Kids these days just don't get their favorite characters ruined for them enough. Mickey, come here and yank off your head!
Clothes Designer |
"They don't need pockets in this jacket, but I made it look like it has pockets, it's a style!"
Pastry Chef |
One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix.
One can prepared coconut pecan frosting. Three slash four cup vegetable oil. Four large eggs. One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips. Three slash four cups butter or margarine. One and two third cups granulated sugar. Two cups all purpose flour. Don't forget garnishes such as: Fish shaped crackers. Fish shaped candies. Fish shaped solid waste. Fish shaped dirt. Fish shaped ethyl benzene. Pull and peel licorice. Fish shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment. Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish. One cup lemon juice. Alpha resins. Unsaturated polyester resin. Fiberglass surface resins. And volatile malted milk impoundments. Nine large egg yolks. Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes. One cup granulated sugar. An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands'. Two cups rhubarb, sliced. Two slash three cups granulated rhubarb. One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb. One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb. Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire. One large rhubarb. One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb. Two tablespoons rhubarb juice. Adjustable aluminum head positioner. Slaughter electric needle injector. Cordless electric needle injector. Injector needle driver. Injector needle gun. Cranial caps. And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals. That will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue. (bonus points if you get the reference) Barista |
"Well... I don't care if you're depresso.... I'm NOT remaking that espresso..."
Puppeteer |
"What do you mean I can't attach strings to the baby? This video is gonna go viral!"
Computer programmer |
“Well, it’s not like anyone else is going to read this, so I won’t bother commenting before each section, or keeping consistent indentation.”
(Also, Coda, every time someone spouts a huge list of ingredients, I immediately think FMA.) Professor |
Espy, that hits way too close to home. XD
(Not FMA, nope.) "And so you have this complicated setup, and it obviously follows that this is true as a result. Proving the corollary is left as an exercise for the reader." Forum moderator! |
"I realize that this person's post is super inflammatory and half the users have reported it, but I think it's funny so I just muted everyone else. My forum, my rules. Are you an easily offended snowflake? Go play on Neopets.
Plumber |
"It's-a me!"
City planner |
-looks at the major cities in Aion- “Ah, yes, this will be perfect and perfectly sensical.”
OR WHOEVER DESIGNED PITTSBURGH. (Pittsburgh is a bit of a triangle; it lies between two rivers. They’d apparently started building from the rivers up, but didn’t quite account for the fact that the rivers aren’t at 90 degree angles from each other, so the northern half of Pittsburgh is at roughly a 60 degree offset from the southern half. It gets really obvious when you pull up a map.) And yeah, Coda, that’s my mindset whenever writing code, but I always have to go back and indent shit properly and organize my comments, bc I get docked points for that on assignments. Hmm... Babysitter. |
"Yeah, they needed to eat so I just let them have whatever they wanted from the fridge so, that's why the cake is gone now. Sorry." <u<;
Paleontologist |
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