Poem "Bend and Break"
 

Er... I suck at poems but this one isn't so bad in my eyes.... or maybe its so bad I just can't see it :p-sweat:

Twist and turn
Bend and break,
How much more,
Do I have to take?
I wish I could escape…
To a world beyond our skies
Filled with things beyond our wildest dreams
Fly through the clouds without worries…
Without regrets
Only to fall back down
To this hell…
How much more can I take?
I bend and break till there is nothing left.

So here it is...commenters rejoice at this horrible travesty that has graced the Writers Diary in the Trisphee forums.... :p-grin:

I think I was honestly expecting worse with that preamble of yours. :P

The biggest weaknesses I can see are the one forced rhyme near the beginning (you really don't need it), and the reliance on cliches for your imagery and phrasing. All you'd really have to do to shape this into a decent little poem is take lines like "beyond our wildest dreams" and rework them into more original turns of phrase.

IMO, at least. :)