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Ah, alas, these are dark times, sir.
In other news, I do have a new poem, but I fear it will not translate to the forum format well. |
I believe in you.
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I seem to have found the solution. All thanks to your unwavering faith in me. ;)
Is meant to be read in alphabetical order by columns, but you can always try it other ways too. :p I'm strongly considering cutting the last W stanza, as I think the V stanza ends it much better. Edit: I see errors already. X__X Oh, well, spotted them in time for class at least. |
Update, has a new shape...
Ignore my cursor near the bottom >_> |
I'm not too proud of this one, just kind of wrote it on a whim. Was trying to play with sound a little bit. Blah.
Afternoon Apocalypse |
I like that one actually :) (and nice job on the update. I like what you did with it. Seems very you. ;))
You have the aliteration down, what I would suggest it paying more attention to vowel sounds in between. These are my favourite lines here, soundwise: "letting ourselves wait for an easier salvation despite that we were helplessly drowning in our own appetites, brazen starvation" I like the long 'a' sounds in wait and salvation, brazen, and the rhyme -which surprised me- with 'starvation.' There are long 'i' sounds too with 'despite' and 'appetite.' Not so fond of the last line, I guess because it feels more decorative rather than substanial. Overall I like it though. :). Go send it somewhere! :p |
I'm going to bring it class tomorrow and see what they think of it. May go work on it some more afterward, will take your comments under advisement. :)
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New one. The form looks different on the page, but this will work.
Astronomics |
1 month later...
Perception Rejection |
Playing with form again?
When my brain works out all those definitions I might have something more to say about it. Feels less like a poem and more of a concept playground. :) |
*cringes at rusty writing gears*
Radiant Decisions |
So glad I'm keeping my one-poem-a-month quota *rolls eyes*
Possibly [M] on this one, just in case. Subsistence, Post-Eschaton |
I... don't even know what this is, but, my God, I'm not about to look a gift-muse in the mouth.
Someone tell me what this means. Not of This World |
Would you be dreadfully disappointed if I told it reminds me of another poem?
I'm not sure I know what that one was either. |
Reading over your poetry = I'm in love with it all.
Afternoon Apocalypse made my heart swell. |
Wow, um, thank you!
I have to ask, though, what did you like about that one? I've always put in in my pile of "meh" poems, personally. :p |
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