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(M) A Side of Depression (Poetry)
Most of my poetry is depressing. And some of them do contain suicidal thoughts, or tortured events. You have been warned. Cancer
Here is where we sit with candles lit
The pain is eating away at your heart Pouring rain It always seemed to let you down You said the angels were crying but you were the one who wore a frown The cancer is spreading Your waiting for the day you die Staring out that window wanting to commit suicide Time is passing There's so much more to learn Your pain is increasing You want to put out the burn To grow old and die is what you longed for Not to grow up in this hospital forgetting what you've learned almost as if your memories were torn from your body Every step you take you end up falling back Clutching on your chest wishing for the life you've never had Blood-Shot Eyes
Seems like every day these tears have been busy
making their way down my cheek And after some time I can't seem to cry anymore Do I have time anymore? So I sit there trying to force them out Why can't I cry? Everything has become so painful They say crying helps you feel better so I watch some T.V hoping I can cry myself to sleep And then they come Here they fall My pillow has become soaked again Another day It's time to cry Once again; I wish to die And so I try to cry again It doesn't happen I find myself laughing It's funny how my life's been such a joke There's no more hope There's no more pills to heal this broken mind Tug of War
Picture me with smiles
if it will make you happy Because I cannot smile every day Tug of war at my heart There's so many to please Waiting patiently for that chance to breathe Slowly crashing down... I've tried to pick you up You tried to do the same I need all of that distance but you get pushed away You become concerned with everything I say Time will let you know when time decides to fade I don't want to be lonely but I am lonely now You want all of my attention but I am on the ground You give me all your hopes but I know the truth Negative becomes positive when my mind is on the loose A Struggle
Where did it go?
You use to be so confident Everybody's laughing while he is on the ground Body's covered with scars of memory You took everything out on yourself The room suddenly goes quiet they didn't expect you would go so far They continue to taunt you You're such a reckless kid You start to lose your strength They decide to go ahead They laugh right in your face You cry inside your room You decide to take your life cause no one will miss you When did life become such a blur? You never put yourself first It never got you far You never took that chance to become what you are Where do I belong? What will I become? We all just want to be loved They all just try to fit in We use to be okay We use to be so different We use to feel so safe No longer able to rely on yourself you push your feelings aside She looks right in the mirror and whispers to herself "I wish that I was skinny" "Wish I was someone else" She walked right up to him and asked for a friend He just faked a smile Decided to go ahead Little did she know she would be broken in the end Where do I belong? What will I become? We used to be okay Now it's just another day We always use to smile now the tears keep pouring down I just want you to love me not because I was someone else Dissection
Squeezing out the blood
Here comes another flood The angels are calling you tonight Your innocents are a given Your heart has been put on a ladder You wish to know the humble one Here comes the grabbing The shoving The torture and the wounds Here comes the piercing of the skin And here comes the bruise Here comes the taunting Here comes the tears Here comes the knives Here comes the beer They're dissecting you now You start to lose your focus No longer able to move No longer able to shout Your eyes fall to a close Memories hurting your pride If only you could remain safe If only you did not die.. Silent Distance
She sits there on the floor
Another lonesome night The darkness somewhat comforts her even though she cries Lean into deceit Something she does so well Troubling such a soul Deep inside; It swells Wait until the last moment arrives No more believing the lies We use to be so tied to our loved ones but everybody dies Hidden Affection
I walk the earth alone
so I like the wind It wraps itself around me It cures me slowly within I retrace my steps back into the dark When I feel deserted you know I feel apart It's funny how I run away and cry myself to sleep when I want someone to come and comfort me I try to hold it back That's why I like the rain No one can notice that I feel the pain I like the lightning It brings in the excitement Yet, when the storm stops the gloomy skies hover over me Once again, I find myself enclosed with dismay A Tortured Event
Butcher knives and bullets
all trampled on the floor Blood and finger prints Look and see no more Quickly, he goes to clean them up A smirk across his face A cackling laugh just enough to make someone grow insane Hastily, he turns and looks the other way The body trying to make it out the door hoping to escape "You're making such a mess! How useful are you now? Soon to lose what's left you can't stay on the ground!" Fleeting across the hallway he grabbed her by the neck His fingers dipped into her wounds Another blatant laugh "Why are you doing this to me!?" she shuddered in terror She looked into his eyes She saw nothing there No regret No distress Just amusement in his hues All he wanted to do was experiment That was nothing new She had kept on fighting If only she could leave As he broke off each her limbs he could hear her scream What I've Kept Inside
If only you knew the pain I've gone through
If only you knew how hard it was to hold on And would you even care? Would you still be right there? If I kept it all inside would you realize how hard it was to hold on? How hard it was to hold on I'm so weak but I have to stay strong The heartache inside was never meant to hold on And if I stay how long will I live? Before you take my hand and lead me to the darkness I trusted you How could you bring me down? You held me in your arms now let me fade out It was hard to believe but I conceived in you You're a monster in disguise and now I draw the line It didn't have to be like this We didn't have to lose We didn't have to let go but what's obvious is true I tried to block it out but I kept between the lines The anger in my heart The sadness in my eyes Crying Rivers
It always seems
when you die it's gonna rain like the angels are crying Death comes and knocks on your door Someone you did not expect gives you harm And it hurts It cuts deep When you think the wounds are healed it's gonna bleed And when you close your eyes the images comes back Betrayed by your love Someone who never gave a damn You turn your back on the world You lock your heart so no one can attack it You lie right through your teeth Who's gonna have it? Who's gonna know the truth? And it hurts It cuts deep The feeling inside of you makes you want to scream And you know the truth so well You took my heart and gave it to someone else Crying rivers Broken hearts Shattered memories All in which you've torn apart Photographic Memories
It felt like almost yesterday when everyone was happy
Smiles written on their face but their sight was filled with sadness Don't act like I don't know I can feel the pain you feel Lies you give away This nightmare almost seems real Photographic pictures You can see what's deep inside At first I didn't notice until I looked into your eyes It painfully kills me to see you fake a smile Every word you said you were in denial And now that I turn the page I begin to reconcile By every step you take you become fragile Soul Bound
Darkness surrounds me
The little night light in my room suddenly comforts me knowing that night light is you Every bit of laughter Every crack of a smile is all because of you You can brighten up my crimson heart Every little push Every little budge I know my organs are caving into the grasp of my killer The tormentor who murders all the pain Who makes my drops of tears go away Every little touch; Scratch Bruises Every little kiss; Passionate Twisted I always wanted this Engraved in you Decayed by you Somewhere along this bloody path I'm made for you |
-sniff-
D; i like them |
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