I tried college and failed so bad my financial aid was revoked. I can't afford to go on my own.

And what about neighborhoods? Neighbors here basically ignore each other or rob each other.

You can't get a job, Dark? o.o Is the job market real bad where you live, too?

Yeah job market is really bad and I'm somewhat mentally disabled. I actually have SSI for income because with my brain doing what it does there is no way I could hold a job.

Oh god my back hurts. My lower back has hurt for over a month. Most days it's not too bad but today it really hurts. I don't know why.

Why can't you hold a job, Dark? If you don't mind my asking, what is... wrong mentally?

I have severe social phobia, severe social anxiety, major depression and dysthmia.

Basically on days when the depression isn't crippling I'd still have panic attacks if I went out in public for a full work shift.

Awe, that's a real shame... Maybe you could find some type of online job? Something where you don't really have to interact with people face-to-face? That really must be very hard...

Well I don't have any usable job skills since I haven't been to college except for one quarter. :S

I would try part time but I worry I'll have issues with the pressure of having people telling me what to do and such. I mean I don't mind taking orders it's just I have issues with having a bunch of stuff to do in a specific tome frame.

I'm kinda considering being a night stocker at Safeway :S

Ooo that would be a good idea, dark. Is it really hard with just large crowds or is it just people in general?

Large crowds and dealing directly with people I don't know already. So a one on one situation with a stranger, such as a new boss for example, is terrifying.

._. How... do you get to know new people? Just pushing through it?

Basically... I don't. I have friends I made in grade school and a couple of friends I got to know through my sisters. Otherwise I really don't make new friends ever.

I suppose getting to know someone for work would be a "grit your teeth and bear it" situation.

Why not try to get an at home job? I know a few people that work from home and just call people and try to sell magazines and things over the phone. One girl I know actually uses skype to call.

Heh, I also have a phobia about using the telephone as luck would have it.