Granted, you're now allergic to every other animal.

I wish I could pause time at will.

Granted but you can't move when you pause time.

I wish I didn't have to sleep.

Granted, but now you always want to sleep...

I wish I could find a Safari Ball that costs around $5...

Granted but it is fake and made of paper...

I wish next friday would get here faster...

Granted, but your car breaks down...

I wish I had my collar...

Granted. It's a turtle collar and it's way too small.

I wish everyone could get along.

Granted, but now the world seems to be like that of George Orwell's 1984...Big Brother is always watching...

I wish I could be with Hyjin tonight...

Granted but hyjin is dead.....
i wish my wish was uncorruptable

Granted, but it's no longer a wish...

I wish I could still draw...

granted, but all you can draw is random people who die because you drew them (just a bit demented right now, sorry.....)

I wish I had a new Camaro!

Granted, the engine is missing, the transmission is shot, there are no wheels, brakes, or windows.

I wish I had some soft pillows.

Granted but they explode

I wish for some jello.

Granted, it is broccoli flavored and has asparagus floating in it.

I wish for simple old telephone to stare at.

Granted but it's covered in mold

I wish for a telescope

Granted, but it only works in reverse...

I wish it wouldn't snow...

Granted, but now it will sleet when it would normally snow

I wish I had mastery over time.