*gives candy* Here you go!

*yay*! Candy! *nom nom nom*

What do you think of my new avi?

I want your tree! Hummm... do I have those kitties? I love the whole thing!

Most of it is items from months past, or event items... Don't even remember where it's all from.

What about your hair?

I layered two of the hairs from the newest event that just passed.

*plops in again* Evening Faux and Luna, how are you two?

-flops in also-
SCHOOL. I DON'T LIKE.
I JUST WANNA ASDFGHJKLZXCVBNMERROR404PAGENOTFOUND
-spazzes and passes out-

I'm beat, but for the most part okay.

Understand Ulti.....same feeling here.

And that's no good, why just for the most part?

I liked when I went to school for what I liked to do.

Heh, yeah I have mainly required/general classes right now, and only one "yay!" class (Drawing II) .... The rest are Biology, Math, History, Earth Science, and English... ALL OF WHICH I NU LIEK -rages-

I wanna go to school... but the school I want is too expensive. TT__TT

The school I go to now is too expensive even though it's just a community college . _ .;
I am so poor >A>;

My current classes are a mix, half for my major and minor, and half for general requirements.

Cosmetology school is SOOOO expensive!

I bet.....can only imagine.

10k In tuition alone, and over 1k in books and stuff...

Damn......I can't say much then about my school, but granted it's not that bad and I know it.

Thankfully once I get in, it's only 10 months till I get out and get an actual job.

Very true.

But 11k is so far away for someone who has only 15 dollars to my name and no job.

My cousin went to cosmetology school. She's got dual citizenship in Finland tho' she's from Egypt so she didn't have to pay for anything but her books since schooling is government paid.

10k is a bit of a doozy tho', about as much as you'd spent going a year at a university tho'. I spent about 10k for a year when I went to UNT and my sisters spending 40k a semester almost by going to Penn State.
--

Day 4 of work out done. I can go deeper into the movements now but lord it's still really hard to do. xD

I've had the day from hell, and I need someone to give me a huge fucking hug to make it better.

Batty had bad, bad day? *hugs Batty tightly*

Very bad bad day. =[
-clings to Alpha-

Sorry Batty. Anything I can do to make it better? Need an open ear?

xD I can post the HUGE rant I just threw at poor Espy. -cuddles her to death-

Morning start: I wake up late, have to rush to workout before Zane gets home. I'm starving, theres NOTHING to eat in the house because we have to go shopping, BADLY, because for the last two weeks we've been rationing what we have left, NO ONE wants to take us to the store. Right. So I go in the freezer, see theres a container of pasta from last night in there. Now, pasta and me? We're enemies. Its my ultimate temptation, aside from peanut butter. What do I go and do? Binge, BIG TIME, with a bread butt, AND breadcrumbs, because apparently, my body is craving uber carbs. Mom lets me do it, even though she knows the consequences of letting me binge that badly. I mean, considering I didn't eat breakfast, lunch, OR dinner yesterday, I know I had some making up to do, but GODDAMNIT, NOT THAT MUCH! Anyway, so, after I was done scarfing, I realized what I'd done. Commence major freak out. I mean, MAJOR MELTDOWN. Full on hysterics. Afternoon: I decided, since I'd binged that bad, I'd replace my routinely workout with something MUCH harder, and LONGER, because I had to burn it all off. Now, our A/C isn't working properly, and its 98 degrees in the house, when its only, MAYBE, 86 outside.

You can see where that takes us, right? Okay. After I did that, I figured "well, hell. That wasn't enough, I mean, I'm drowning in my own sweat, I cant breath, but what the hell! Lets go for an hour walk!" So I went ahead and did that, full well knowing I was going to be WAY TOO DAMNED EXHAUSTED to do anything else for the rest of the day. As I'm walking towards the truckstop, some fucking idgit, who I see EVERYDAY go up there, rolled down his window, and yelled, at the top of his lungs "going for your little afternoon walk, Fatty?" .... I didn't even finish that walk, because I turned around, and ran right the hell home. I come inside, and mom goes "Hey, think you could run this bag containing three loads of wet laundry up to the laundry mat?"... oh. my. god.

So I do that, come home, Zane gets home, and instantly starts telling ,me I'm doing too much, I need to sit down, etc etc. I told him to shut up, cause, we both knew if I didn't, I'd be a very unpleasant person. -sighs- Then I asked what dinner was going to be tonight, since, I hadn't taken anything out, and didn't see mom do it, either. Mom goes "I'm too fucking hot, I'm not cooking. And you aren't either. So I guess we're ordering pizza".... Pizza? Seriously? I. CANT. EAT.PIZZA. At all. Whatsoever. The PASTA made me freak the hell out. ONE SLICE OF FRIGGEN PIZZA WOULD THROW ME INTO UBER WORKOUT MODE. So I decided to go for another walk. That one ended up being an hour, too. I come home from THAT, to everyone ARGUING about where the hell to order, what to order, what was going to be enough, etc. So everyone left it up to Zane to do, since not one person could make up their mind. At this point, its almost seven.

I have a workout I have to do, and one more walk to do, before I KNOW for a fact, I can't do anymore, and have to be done for the night. I didn't want to be still killing myself passed 8.. he orders, I feel left out, because not one of them even thought about me, and what I was going to have. Mom was just worried about my sister, who, mind you, JUST had a mcdonalds cheeseburger, that Zane brought her home. WHY. IN. THE. WORLD. would it matter?! I mean, what the hell? Right, so, I go to try and start my workout, mom FLIPS A LID. She found out he'd only ordered one large, and proceeded to freak the hell out on the BOTH of us, because she didn't think it was going to be enough for the three of them... and just, has this huge meltdown about it, pushing it onto me, and my ALREADY bad, frazzled, stressful day. So I started yelling back. Which turned into this HUGE argument.

Zane had to call back, and add shit on, which cost us more money we DON'T have, which pissed mom off even MORE. And when the shit finally came, she gave my sister two of the biggest pieces, Zane got his and mom decided she was going to be a fucking three year old, and refuse to eat. Because she thought my SISTER would still be HUNGRY, and didn't want to, what was it she said? "take food from her child". her "child" is thirteen years old, and 190 something pounds. SHE'LL FUCKING LIVE WITH TWO SLICES, AND A BIG ASS PIECE OF CHEESY BREAD. So that started ANOTHER argument, of which I finally just snapped, and told her to stop being such a petty little bitch, and to just EAT. That I would take care of my sister, if she got hungry later on in the night.

Heh. Well, that incited even more negativity. And she HAD to find another reason why she couldnt eat, and blamed Zane, because he ordered an extra topping for his two slices, and they ended up putting the olives on four of the eight slices...So, I had to go into the fucking box, pick off ALL the olives, so that there were four pieces for WHOMEVER wanted them, that didnt like olives. ME. You know, the one who can't be around food like that? Yuuuup. I finally got her to just shut up and deal with it, got to doing my workout, then when it came time for my walk? It was too damned late. So I had to bike it. I still havent eaten. And no ones asked if I'm okay, if I need anything, etc, etc. I had to force her to watch doctor who with me, too. Even though SHE was the one, who wanted to sit down, watch that and a few episodes of supernatural with me. Needless to say, this has been the fucking day from hell, and it needs to die. -heaves- And to end it? I had to go BACK out, to the damned truckstop, to get my sister something to snack on because she came out here and said she was hungry. So I wound up biking, again, for a half hour.

-pulls into lap and plays with your hair- What's wrong bbybatty? ): -curls up-

Everyone was at eachothers throats today, and, all because its just too damned hot in here... I'm supposed to be getting my period within the next few days, so, I'm already getting to the irritated at everything point, and to top it off, I did MORE today, than I EVER do in a day, just to make up for a little pasta... three double walks, that lasted an hour each, two workouts that lasted an hour each, and like, three freaking half hour bike rides, on top of having to deal with not having food in the house for people to eat, and not getting enough sleep, despite the fact I woke up a little later than normal, my uncle telling me he's too busy to help us get food in the house, and having to be around freakin' take out, knowing even if I wanted to, I couldn't have any. Because I'm not ready to even try to...


I need a hot shower. A fucking GOOD ASS CUP OF COFFEE. And... I don't even know. Zanes asleep. Moms asleep. And I'm sitting here all by myself now.

Can I stay here forever? Well, after I'm done showering anyway. xD I smell absolutely horrible.

And I somehow skinned the bottom of my foot. ><;

A) Who is that fucker that drove by? I need a name and a picture. God damn I need to visit soon. I'm gonna rip him a new one.

B)Your sister needs a bit of a reality check. I would never treat my own sister that way. If she wants a snack she can go get it. =/ There's no excuse to be lazy.

C) It's hard sometimes to feed picky people, I know I am a pick eater. I have an OCD about my food. But damn it, my parents do shit like that with me and it pisses me off. I don't eat some days because they can't take two minutes to think about what I'm going to eat. I'm sorry that happened and one of these days I hope pasta won't freak you out as much. I know binge feels tho'. -hugs tight- Wish I could make you something delicious.

D) Your mother. Again. You can not be that much of a child. Especially since she has TWO kids at this point. I'm sorry there's no excuse for that type of behavior, she's supposed to be an adult. =/ You're not the mom of the house, she is.

E) Take a shower. Right now. Breathe, relax. I usually meditate in the shower if I need to calm myself and need to be alone to breathe. Then come back. And chill with us. :) -loves on- And drink a cup of coffee.

<3 You can if you want. I wouldn't mind. Go shower young grasshopper!

And I'm not surprised with how much you've been doing today. I get why tho', just wish you hadn't had to freak out that much.

-is cuddled- Er...don't feel too bad about dumping that; everyone needs a shoulder to dump shit on sometimes.

Wow.......(sorry that took a bit). I really wish there was something I could do....several things I want to do, like knock a few heads together and maybe some intimidating.....

Harlotbby;; She has a legit excuse, though. I mean, she had a heartattack and CAN'T take the heat at all. And her and I have to deal with it all day, everyday, from the moment we wake up, till the moment we go to bed. She hasn't been feeling well and its scaring me a bit, cause she's been complaining of chest pains, and popping aspirin like no tomorrow.

As for my sister, I absolutely love her, but, thats just how she is. She won't even come out to get her own drinks sometimes. She just hibernates in the room, and waits to be waited on. Or comes out here, just to tell us she wants food. Don't wanna get too much into it though, cause, she actually uses Trisphee on occasion. xDD; And I don't need her tattling to mom about me being mean, and bitching about her. Then I'll get in trouble. xD;

And I'm USED to being the mom. You can ask Zane, unless mom or I do it, NOTHING GETS DONE. And lately, I've been the one doing everything, because I'm younger, and have stamina that lasts a hell of a lot longer than her. -sighs-

As far as that stupid fucking moron goes? I see him everyday, he ALWAYS drives passed me while I'm walking.

And yeah... me too. But I've been trying to portion control, especially with pasta and peanut butter. Zanes been hiding the PB though, so, I have no idea where it is. xDD; I'm craving it less and less now, which means I could probably be okay with it being out in the open. Its just carbs now, for some reason. Most likely because of all the cardio I've been doing. And I didn't feel like bugging anyone today about it, because... I bitch SO much, and freak out SO often, I don't want to lose my only support group. xD;

And YES MAAM! Going to shower RIGHT now, and then I'll be back.

Espy;; I know, I know... but some of the shit I have to vent about, isn't... what some people want to particularly hear, you know? It hurts them, just as much as it does me. I hate making people feel powerless about helping me out.

And fuck. My computer blue screened so I had to type this shit up ALL over again xDD

I don't think Alpha needs to do any intimidating. He's intimidating enough without putting effort into it >.>

Alpha;; Head knocking, HIGHLY APPRECIATED!

Wanna do it to my Uncle? He's our only ride to the grocery store, other than me and Zane biking three or so miles to go get stuff, and since its only a bike, a basket, and a backpack, we're physically unable to bring home the ESSENTIALS. Like, meats, and milk and eggs, and things like that. We're limited to what won't spoil in the Florida heat, and what will survive the trip home...

Espy + Alpha; What's up? :3

Battybby; I'm sorry she's not feeling well. And the heart attack and all that. I know the feels on the heat thing too. And I'm sure she's lovely but that doesn't mean you can behave like a child attitude wise. I'm sorry. I have medical issues with my legs and you never see me bitchin' a fit like that. And I'm only 22. I'm supposed to be in a wheel chair by 30. When bad shit happens you either become the world or become better than the world. Maybe she needs to take it easy but that doesn't mean she gets to take it out on other people. That's a personality issue that's separate. Not that I'm "ragging" on your mom. Just something to consider.

I've seen her use tris and I understand. Again I'm sure she's a lovely person too. I can understand hibernation. I spend 90% of my time in my room on my own. Sarah usually gets me water when I'm just chilling in the room or she'll go out and get McDonalds or some other fast food. But in exchange I get up sometimes and I cook full blown home made meals. I clean for her. It's a give and take. There has to be a give and take if you're gonna be a lazy butt, and I know 'cause I'm the QUEEN of lazy butts. The key is to make sure it doesn't happen all the time.

I can understand that. It's the same with me and Sarah a lot of the times. Only reason her place is ever clean is because I come through and clean it on the weekends. (Oh on that note; Sarah's mom was bitching about me. How I'm staying at her apartment all the time; which BS I only come on the weekends and I keep HER DAUGTHERS place clean for her, bitch. And I cook for her. And I'm the one that kept her in school for as long as she was there. And how she's buying booze for me; also BS I paid for the booze the past two times. We switch off. Just argh. I set up her god damn apartment. I keep her on track with her probation.) It still sucks tho'.

I'm gonna go on a few walks with you and we'll see how that goes. Or if I'm driving my own car follow that fucker and give him a damn piece of my mind. Or depending on how slow he drives take a crowbar to his tire.

Just take it slow. If you haven't already made one keep a journal or some shit where you can vent, or bitch on here. :] You've always got several ears and me. <3 (You still wanna do that work out thread thing?) :] You're already doing better than when I first started talking to you again. Slow and steady wins the race. Or at least gets you to the finishing line. Haha. And it's probably because of the cardio.