*throws up hands* I give up.

Apologies if this doesn't make any sense or if I sound stupid I just wanna get it off my chest

I'm just sad and kinda down because of everything and on top of the worldwide virus I lost a family member and a cat this year so life hasn't been that easy, and I see everyone having fun on the new animal crossing and I wish I was too but lol I'm waiting for Final Fantasy VII Remake to come out instead. So I have this feeling of being left behind or whatever idk it's just my anxiety being mean to me I guess. It's like I've been forgotten or something. ACNH seems to be all that matters in the world now. ;_;

hahahaha im dumb

first off, a friend's cat is dead. not exactly a big surprise, given that either his kidneys or his liver was failing, but they're going to be grieving for some time and i feel bad about it.

second, someone that i utterly fucking hate is in a discord i'm in and not leaving. the deal was that i'd apologize to him for having a conspiracy theory that he was running a particularly infamous zine (the creator, of which, outright admitted to liking rape porn in the fandom). the deal was also that he'd fuck off afterwards. he hasn't fucked off yet, and now i'm paranoid that any purrsonal information i grumble about will be used against me, because this dude has threatened suicide / suicidal intentions to the friend i have in the above vent for... (checks notes) not being allowed access to the rest of their server.

frankly, i regret agreeing to apologize to that fucking cuck.

edit: he's also friendly with the person that allows minors to view nsfw in HER SERVER. who called my version of a character a manchild. at least she gendered him correctly, i guess.

If it makes you feel any better, minus the losses (sorry), I'm in the same boat. My gaming options are my limited collection of original xbox games or my limited collection of ds games.
ACNH looks so cute and fun, but here I am waiting 3+ hours for a video to download so I can watch other people play it instead.

>8o You're waiting +3 HOURS for a video to load??! <xO That's AGONIZING! If I'm waiting +3 MINUTES, it's too long! x{ This is a crime!

> restart computer
> theme somehow got changed
> can't re-enable Windows Aero
> sigh
> get used to the theme

the only bad thing about this is that when i scroll up/down, there's a weird scrolling effect. and discord's custom top bar keeps bugging out, because it's a much newer program.

it's still fucking annoying to deal with, and i have no idea if the graphics card is starting to fail.

Yes. Because I can't afford/don't have internet at home so the only way for me to watch videos without wifi is to either own stuff on dvd or wait FOREVER for videos to download (because I caved and got the youtube subscription soley for the download ability) on my phone.
And what with potentially being quarantined from my main job with the good wifi, I'll only be able to download videos maybe 3 times per week at a reasonable speed. Otherwise, depending on the size of the videos, they can take anywhere between 1.5-5+ hours to dowload.

okay, some weird shit also happened with roblox. feels like a screen tearing issue, but roblox does not have any vsync options.

i have no idea if this is the graphics card starting to fail or anything, but i need to test other games to be able to get a proper... thing.

Yeah, I mean it was my decision to make when I could have chosen to get a Switch instead but I really want FFVII Remake and that game means more to me right now and has meant more to me for a while. Once it comes out I know I'll feel better and I know I'll be seeing it everywhere which will also make me feel better. It's just having to have patience and wait til then. ;_; But it'll be out soon!

If some of my conventions get cancelled this year, I might use the Fanime badge refund money towards a Switch. ;u;

Derpy and I are playing Animal Crossing Wild World. It's not the same, but is the closest I'll get. XD

Ah, forgot I was on this account again. XP

I feel sad for my town in Wild World. ;u; I haven't played that one in a while.

Perhaps I should check up on it.

i see people saying they miss the old internet, but the old internet was a shithole. you were either trolling or being trolled, it was perfectly acceptable to use slurs (the r slur, god knows what else), and god knows what would happen if you had epilepsy and stumbled onto a site with flashing gifs everywhere.

i think i prefer the new internet much more.

Me: >~<; I am trying to resist the urge to eat the cake...just sitting there on the table...with no one around to steal it-!
;_; It's VERY difficult! I must think of something else!

My inner Robbie Rotten:

I just miss when more people would use forums. Now everyone relies on Facebook and whatnot that some forums are just kinda dead. :( Facebook isn't even organized it's mainly just a clusterfuck of things IMO.

I've always preferred forums. ;u;

I miss old Neopets. <:'[ </3 Not the worm-ridden corporation cash slave that it turned into... <x{ YES! I'm guilty of abandoning my Neopets and as far as I'm concerned they are beyond starved to death. <:[ But gosh darn I miss all those games to earn me Neopoints, all those contests and quests, all those Lost Desert, Maraquian and Faerie items, all those cool legends in the form of graphic comics, all those cute and nifty Petpets I wanted to get my hands on! <x'C I miss it all dammit! </3

god, that reminds me, moshi monsters is pretty much dead. officially.

Derpy grabs the edge of the cake plate and starts slowly dragging it away. "I'll finish it for you!"

been playing some A Story About My Uncle.

my touchpad is not very co-operative.

:D Thanks Derpy! <3
*turns back to the rest of the cake, but it's gone* :c Hey-! Where did-?
*looks at hands full of frosting, and notices lips with cake crumbs. I did it. I ate the rest of the cake that was remaining.*
8c ...Oops. <x{

The cake is a lie!!

Cake? What cake? I know nothing about your cake.
*wipes crumbs and frosting from mouth*

Derpy kicks away cake crumbs and licks the frosting off his paws. "No cake here eiver."

planning to get the Twila Extensions for a Wendy cosplay, since, y'know, the update came out.

My birthday is next week,
and I have no idea how to feel about it...
/.___.\ . . .

i have a milestone birthday in August ... and I'm not sure how i feel about that either. sometimes i feel half my age, sometimes i feel much older... XD

We're in a simulation anyway, just set your age to whatever you want.

And now one of my go to coffee shops had to close for good. Wondering how many others are close to doing the same.

ooh good idea, i like that. *sets age*

the starbucks where i would stop for breakfast said they were going to get remodeled, i don't know if that's happening right now or not, but i haven't been there in about 2 weeks...

holy shit.

someone got beaten up by the fuckin police around here.

my brother was fucking right when he said that the police would fucking abuse their power!

I know that feeling... mine's next month.

;U; Totally forgot that it's April today.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

We should do something special for your birthday, Merskelly!!

That way it still feels like a fun day, even if we're all stuck inside

;u; I'm probably just going to play video games and drink water like I typically do. Though since it's my birthday on a Wednesday, I might be bugged a lot by my fam at home to do something with them, idk lol. <x}

how did your birthday go, Mers? :o happy belated birthday!

Oh, it's not my birthday yet. ^^; It's on the 6th, hehe. In like, 3 more days! <x) I hope I get a nice gift though. ^u^ And do the things I wanna do at home.

ooo! i hope you have a nice birthday too :3

The final trailer for Final Fantasy VII Remake dropped

and I have so many feels ;u; RUFUS <3

i'm finding it so difficult to actually CARE about collegework in this lockdown situation >,> and yet, apparently, i have to fulfill requirements to graduate

Watching how terribly flawed my brother is somehow puts me at ease, <:]
because I like to initially place him on a pedestal and believe he's better than me at everything and he's by far succeeding more than I am. <:/

...but damn, <x'D the poor boy just can't recognize a pigsty! I think his feet alone mess up the aroma of a room, cause he never wants to put on his f*cking SOCKS! >x{ Also, he intended to sleep outside in his tent he found in the garage, <X} but he quickly noped out of it, once night started to fall, and bugs were flying around outside. x'D
It's those little things that bring comfort to me, knowing he can still be a naive little brother. >W< Heheheh

we need to use up the bread so here i am, looking up indian recipes for bread that won't require us to get any ingredients from outside because we're covid homebound

My silly ass wanting to watch either nostalgic Disney songs and cry or LOTR the Return of the King again for the 87th time: https://images.gr-assets.com/hostedi...a/23287012.gif
https://media1.tenor.com/images/ccfb...itemid=7970530