it was a hundred and thirty-seven minutes before he could hear the return crunch of shoes over the forest floor. it was another three before he could muster up enough willpower to look up at the man and through the blurry lenses of his tears he could see the other staring down at him and shamed by it he put his head back down again and went back to counting

Saying nothing he let Zosa have his catharsis. In his walk he realized there was nothing he could say, not with out the other assuming the worse. Eventually the professor found himself sitting beside Zosa, his finger curled into his mouth in silence.

he was not quite on six more minutes for a total of a hundred forty-six but he could not have it with the other looming so close and turning his head just enough to see the other he offered an apology though for what exactly he could not even guess despite all the things he had said to be sorry over

Shaking his head he could not accept the apology. He grabbed the boys chin. “Zosa, no, we are not buying a house, we are not staying in russia. Tomorrow we are catching a train to Greece, we are going to the little chapel and before your family, the pope and god we are going to be married. “ He blinked taking a sharp breath. “Lets go home and pack.” With that he rose, unfurling his limbs and letting go.

Shaking his head he could not accept the apology. He grabbed the boys chin. “Zosa, no, we are not buying a house, we are not staying in russia. Tomorrow we are catching a train to Greece, we are going to the little chapel and before your family, the pope and god we are going to be married. “ He blinked taking a sharp breath. “Lets go home and pack.” With that he rose, unfurling his limbs and letting go.


when the hand left him so did his sadness and he found that all that was left was anger, anger and resentment. staying where he was he moved his arm to slam his fist into the dirt, "NO." turning his face up he offered the blackest look he could, "no!, i refuse, you don't want to get emotionally attached and i don't want to lose you for it. i won't marry someone who does not want to marry me, it isn't fair to either of us and i don't want to drive you away! you are not listening felix, i love you, i really and truly do and i don't want to hurt you just to get my way, i don't want to kill you like that fucking bastard joshua just to be able to say you are mine and be able to prove it, i don't ever want to make you do that!.....you are not a trophy, you are a human being who deserves to be happy"

Shaking his head despite the boys anger he grabbed his arm. Pulling him out of his crouch he tried to march them towards the house. Biting back his emotions he pulled Zosa as far as the angry boy would go with out striking him. “And you are not listening to me.” He said finally turning around and looking into the angry eyes. “If the only token I can give to you the prove my emotions is a grand display of commitment they why are we waiting? … I..” His voice broke “I will always be afraid Zosa, but if it is a life of uncertainty and forever I would … Its now or never, because I can not live with out you.” His hands graced over the boys ringed finger before closing around it.

he was torn between hitting the professor and pulling him so close that the man could never escape, instead he did neither, instead he only covered the tattooed hand with his free one, "the funny thing is felix.... the only thing that can cure my fears is the very thing that causes yours... not matter what i will not stop loving you and if you ever stop loving me i won't force you to stay, i wont keep you with me like a broken toy and i won't discard you for anyone else, hell felix there isn't anyone else"

Once again his hand squeezed Zosa's as his head fell forward resting on Zosa's shoulder. His body was shaken yet the tears would not fall. "Then will a ring be enough?" He asked in the smallest of voices.

he did not have the heart to tell the other that it was not only a ring that bound them and so instead only offered a small 'yes' to assuage the other. he understood there would be no more talking on the matter without more strife and all he wanted was to just be happy and enjoy what could be salvaged of this day

He spent most of the rest of the walk in silence gathering his thoughts, trying to find the bravado to simply say he would marry the boy but it was not there. He felt like he failed as a partner. Quietly once they returned to the house he slipped on his apron and started to cook dinner for the two of them.

while felix cooked he made a long over-due call home and barring the walk in the woods and the proposal caught auntie up with what had been going on. she could, he knew, tell there was something missing but she did not pry and he did not offer and when the conversation ran it's course and he left the room the smell of cooking food brought him back downstairs

He caught words from one side of the conversation before the boy disappeared to the upper part of the house. He felt tense and full of regrets as the boy came back down the stairs. Silently he stirred the meal, wondering if it was possible to take back his words and just go through with the wedding.

heading over to felix he wrapped his hands around the man only to feel a tenseness that should not have been. frowning he pushed his face against the other and tightened his grip, "felix? it will be fine"

He opened his mouth and then said nothing, letting his body fall into the others. He offered a spoon to Zosa as he thought. "I have an uneasy feeling about things but only time can soothe it. Will there be another chance?"

(Eventually he will try since he knows how important it is to Zosa but expect a long wait )

he had not been sure what the man's angst was about but the answer told him all he needed to know and frowning more he nodded and let himself be spoon-fed in silence

The eerie silence was replaced by strange small talk as dinner wore on, and the professor selfishly found himself wandering if they would still buy the house in Greece. He knew the answer, it was the price. So he spoke nothing on it at all. Instead he asked Zosa something else. "Do you really want to return to Mars?"

the question was unexpected but even so he was not without an answer and needed no time to ruminate on it before answering, "not if you do not wish to go. the first time it was lykus and my family that sent me up, i have fulfilled my promise to lykus and did exactly what was expected to please the rest of them. it was a wonderful break from life but i don't need to repeat the experience"

This time his silence was one of introspective thought rather then the tense one that seemed to cloud them before. Like the moon, and the other heavily body Mars seemed to loose its magic and was replaced by his love for Zosa. While cultivating another Electra and furthering his research would have been wonderful his time on earth brought him much more happiness. A small smile crossed his lips as he lifted a spoon to Zosa's mouth offering him a taste. "How much of earth have you explored?"

it tasted good and after accepting the spoon he offered the other a sweet kiss, "hardly more than what you have already seen"

Once more he fell into his contemplative thoughts as he fed Zosa. Certainly to day was not a day to make many choices. At last he finally asked what he wanted to know. "Would you still like to purchase the homes?"

"....." he could not give the other an answer and so closed his mouth. he wanted to but he was not sure how he felt about it. to do so would be to officially give up his family without any guarantee he could keep his lover and the thought turned his stomach, on the other hand however he would do almost anything for the man. when the silence began to drag out he finally turned his head away and gave a nod. he would if it made felix happy

Nodding in understanding, The professor finally fished out their food into bowls and slid one over to Zosa. He let the answer weigh into his choices about which life he would prefer.

by the time they finished eating he finally found his voice and carefully he inqured as to what the other wanted to do

For a long time he met the other only with silence stirring the remains of the bottom of his bowl. "I would like to clean up and go upstairs and have story time." He said at last since their plans of going to see the house were clearly canceled.

nodding he stood and taking both plates headed for the kitchen

It was a long day that turned into an equally long night. Even the soothing sounds of Zosa's voice could not help him get to sleep. As he lay with his eyes closed, his thoughts buzzed anxiously uncertain of his choices now.

he could tell felix derived no comfort from story-time though he was not sure what else to offer the man. frowning to himself he kept talking after the story was over only this time he spoke not of fictional beasts but of a childhood half-forgotten

It got to the point into the story where Zayats was just absurd. He could not help himself but laugh and realized he did not want to start thinking again. Twisting his head he looked up at Zosa secretly deciding to play the future by ear. Kissing the curve of his chin he asked. "And how angry was Uncle?"

he smiled, "it looked like he had eaten the newt at that point. his face was nearly purple too. i am surprised it did not explode for all it looked like it was going to"

Shaking his head against the chest imagining the expression once again the professor laughed. "And how did this conclude?"

waggling his fingers he trailed them over the narrow chest to mimic the scurrying of a newt, "he let it go outside though auntie could not make salad for a week after and zayats was grounded for a month, it was so awkward"

The professor captured the scurrying fingers bringing them close to his mouth and kissing them. "I will have to remember not to bring home any newts." He said sucking lightly on Zosa's index finger.

he sighed as the slick tongue found him and shifting under the other he let their legs tangle up. only common sense kept him from asking him is felix felt better though he was sure he knew anyway. giving the man a smile he leaned in to kiss a soft cheek

This time he lay in bed, sweaty, hot and happy with Zosa captured in his limbs. His fingers combed through the thick black locks and the boys breathing lulled him to sleep.

(( I am sorry for the lame post but I am not sure what they are going to do now so I am not sure where to time skip to. Just know he wont ask to go to either house any more and will be content to stay in Zosa's room when they get back to Greece ))

he was woken up by a soft warm withered hand and opening his eyes he saw a look he had not been privy to since he was small. averting his eyes away from the woman he pulled the blankets to his chest as he was told his father had come home and wanted to talk to him about something important

Entering the kitchen, The professor could see why any one would want to marry the Garagin. Needless to say the professor was happy that Zosa had many of the features of his mother. He could not take Zosa serious if he had mutton chops and thick brows that came with the Russian heritage. Not to mention the man fluff protruding from Mr. Garagrins face. Silently he watched as the reunion took place between father and son.

Entering the kitchen, The professor could see why any one would want to marry the Garagin. Needless to say the professor was happy that Zosa had many of the features of his mother. He could not take Zosa serious if he had mutton chops and thick brows that came with the Russian heritage. Not to mention the man fluff protruding from Mr. Garagrins face. Silently he watched as the reunion took place between father and son.

he was not sure if he was being prasied or chastised though it was not the greeting he expected. silently he stood there and listened though about halfway through he realized he was being watched, it did nothing to help the awkward shame he felt

(i am sure it is english with a bit of an accent but basically he is surprised and upset at his son's choice of gender but if nothing else at least he had the sense to not pick a bum XD so don't fuck it up)

At some point the professor pushed his glasses back and shifted till his arms cross his chest. It was one thing to live under auntie and uncle where the expectant bar was already high it was another to hear and absent parent criticizing his lover. Gruffly the professor cleared his throat getting the attention of the two in the room. "Mr Garagrin, My name is the Professor, thank you for the use of your abode during our stay. I do not mean to be rude but your son and I have plans. You are more then welcome to join us for lunch were we can further discuss this matter." He said narrowing his eyes and staring at the man.

(The professor is tired of being the red headed step child married into the family and seeing Zosa mistreated. )

At some point the professor pushed his glasses back and shifted till his arms cross his chest. It was one thing to live under auntie and uncle where the expectant bar was already high it was another to hear and absent parent criticizing his lover. Gruffly the professor cleared his throat getting the attention of the two in the room. "Mr Garagrin, My name is the Professor, thank you for the use of your abode during our stay. I do not mean to be rude but your son and I have plans. You are more then welcome to join us for lunch were we can further discuss this matter." He said narrowing his eyes and staring at the man.

(The professor is tired of being the red headed step child married into the family and seeing Zosa mistreated. )