Granted but now you can never nap during the day ever again.

I wish I had more cookies.

Granted, but they're all soggy.

I wish I had more fruit to eat.

Granted, but now you have to collect rain water every day just to keep a food forest alive in your yard.

I wish I could predict the future

Granted, but no one will ever believe any predictions you make

I wish I had some cod to deep fry

Granted! Unfortunately, your fryer is broken.

I wish the grocery store near me sold Pocky.

Granted, but they only sell green tea pocky

I wish my favorite tea was still sold in stores

Granted but it's all past the expiration date.

I wish I had grown up part of a different family.

(^^I mean...I actually like the green tea pocky alright, so that's cool...)

Granted, but your new family is worse than your previous one.

I wish I had ice cream.

Granted but every time you try and scoop it yourself it falls on the ground.

I wish magic was real.

Granted. Unfortunately, you have a passive ability that neutralizes all magic in a 60 mile radius of yourself, so you never know.

I wish I always had just enough money for anything I needed to buy.

Granted but it's always sold out.

I wish I had a magical notebook that made anything that was wrote in it come true.

granted, but you have a millisecond to write whatever before it poofs.

i wish i could turn back time

Granted but your soul gets turned into a soul gem and each time you turn back time your soul gem darkens until you die.

I wish I had a tv screen floor so my cat could play with those cat vids.

madoka pls
 

granted but the electricity bill is best left to the imagination.

i wish i knew the meaning of life.

Wish granted, but it's in a corrupted, unrecoverable PSD file.

I wish I had a better computer.

granted but it's a work computer, and your boss can see everything you do on it.

i wish i had a copy of that PSD file before it all went to shiet

Granted but it's just a copy of the wikipedia page on nihilism.

I wish, I wish I was a fish
https://pm1.narvii.com/6202/d88f01ac...3f9daf_128.jpg

Granted, but you can't breathe out of water

I wish I'd put less sugar in my coffee

Granted, but now it's too bitter and there is no more sugar in the world.

I wish time would stop for a day.

Granted, but you're frozen alongside it.

I wish my dog wouldn't escape from my backyard anymore.

Granted, but now your dog can't use it's legs.

I wish I could eat vegetables without hating the taste of them.

Granted. But now you dont enjoy the taste of anything else.

I wish I had the motivation to work out.

Granted, but now you only have the motivation to work out.

I wish for horns.

granted but your horns fall off as soon as you got them lol.

I wish for lots of clothes xd

Granted, but now anything you wear is invisible.

I wish I could find every single sock that goes missing in the laundry.

granted you find every sock in the laundry but absolutely all of them are a totally different color! bawahahahaha!!!

I wish I had a million candles on one cake.

GRANTED, BUT THE CAKE IS MAKE OF CANDLES.

I WISH FOR JEANS WITH DECENT POCKETS.

Granted....just granted, because me too dammit.
okay fine,..but the pockets are right by your ankles.

I wish for more rain.

granted, but now every time it rains, it floods.

i wish hoodies had bigger pockets.

Granted. Your hoodies pockets are now so big that they look so ridiculous that you can never wear it in public. They are also very uncomfortable so now you don’t even want to wear it to the couch to watch tv

I wish I had the most delicious donuts in the world

Granted. But now with the most delicious donuts, you have a menagerie of people bothering you, from pastry corporations to your neighbors and all friends and family who just NEED some of your donuts because they're the best in the world!

I wish I knew the answers to every mystery I wanted solved.

Granted, however, you forget the answer after a millisecond.

I wish I knew where exactly my packages are at in the mail at all times.

Granted! Unfortunately they always manage to get stolen off the truck right before they're delivered and since they're no longer in the mail, you don't know where they are.

I wish I could stay motivated to finish my craft projects.

Granted, but they slowly evaporate after being completed screaming "You did this to me!" on loop.

I wish my dogs wouldn't bark and howl at every dog they see when inside the house.

Granted, but now they bark at every single door opening and closing.

:c I wish I could have been in Lord of the Rings as an extra...

granted but you are uncredited, you had to give up your union rights and they cut your scene


i wish i didn't feel so old and creaky when i gardened

(nooooo! xD eh, it's Hollywood.)
Granted, but now you make old and creaky noises with each movement of your joints.

I wish I could turn my skin into diamond as a defense mechanism.

Granted, but you can't move.

I wish that Tabby was here.

Granted, but now you’re lazy and never get anything done
I wish I had some awesome superpowers!

Granted, now you have the superpower to summoning hordes of monkeys playing the saxophone. But you can't banish them so now the world is plagued with toe tapping jazz playing everywhere at all times.

I wish I had fun things to distract me during Covid