Q.Q poor kitty

granted but your stuck with it forever and it just keeps getting worse

i wish i had a new sweater

Granted. But it's made out of used eyelashes.
I wish I never wished the wish before this one

granted but that was in an alternate universe

i wish i was graduating this year

Granted, but now you must live with a pedo for one year before going on.
I wish I could travel between universes.

Granted, but you're stuck between them and can't enter them.

I wish for a new computer keyboard!

Granted! But it's missing all the keys!
I wish I could turn girls into lesbians!

XD some claim they already have that power

granted but it only works on those who already are or those who are bi

i wish i could teleport

Granted, but only once every month.

I wish for 14 bookshelves of manga.

Granted! But there all covered in blood!
I wish for a television!

Granted, but its a old version from the 1950's thats only in black and white.
I wish for aurum to fall from the sky.

Granted, but it only happens when you're not around.

I wish for a jelly pastry.

Granted, but it's inedible.

I wish I didn't eat so much at dinner.

Granted, you get NOTHING.

I wish for all the event items o3o

Granted, but they were all badly coded and made you unable to use your inventory ever.
I wish I had all the achievements done <3

Granted but you keep getting caught cheating

I wish I was happy with myself

Granted but you become so confident you lose touch of reality a little bit in just want you are capable of and it may or may not get you killed. (ex. I can flyyyyy! -splat-)

EDIT: I wish I had good FREE health insurance 8D