Granted, but now the rest of the animations take longer

I wish I knew what to wish for

Granted, but you won't know how to achieve your wish.

I wish I could bake a perfect souffle

Granted but it has no taste every time.

I wish I could sleep easier =D

Granted, but now it's next to impossible to wake up.
I wish my bills were paid off!

Granted but now you have no money!

I wish I can get super drunk tonight and wakeup with little to no hangover.

Granted, but you wake up with a random stranger in your bed. o_O

I wish my bronchitis would go away asap.

Granted! Now you have tuberculosis.


I wish the weather was this cool always.

Granted, but now the whole ecosystem is thrown out of whack

I wish I was shorter!

Granted, but now everyone else is 1 foot shorter than you


I wish I didn't have to pee right now

Granted, but you can never pee and you will always feel like you have to pee.

I wish I can materialize food into existence.

Granted, but the food only comes in 5-ton increments.

I wish I could knit!

Granted but everything you knit does not fit the intended person or thing

I wish I could be left alone all weekend

Granted, but now you must live out the rest of your life alone
I wish I had a coffee right now.

Granted, now you're Ant (Wo)man!

I wish I had a stronger willpower.

Granted! But now you're sleepy all the time.

I wish I had better internet

Granted, but now your power will go off frequently and unexpectedly.

I wish I could get paid for doing nothing

Granted, but you become a vegetable.

I wish I was the most competent person on earth.

Granted, but everyone else just seems so dumb and keep asking you to explain things over and over...

I wish it wasn't so hot

Granted, but now you can't feel heat
I wish hemorrhoids didn't exist

Granted, but now uhh people poop through their navel. You're welcome.


I wish I could had a new pc tomorrow.

Granted, but everyone else in the world gets a Mac.
I wish I didn't get so damn tongue-tied around pretty girls

Awww. Ok but now you just can't stop talking. Like you just blab 24/7, so annoying.

I wish I didn't have to take so many meds.

Granted, but now you puke up pills once a day.
I wish I could focus.

Granted, but now even if there's a fire you can't unfocus.

I wish I had balance.

Granted, you have balance but only in a full on sprint.

I wish I had some heat.

Granted, but now it's 100F every day.

I wish my body wasn't hurting

Granted, but instead of hurting it will just randomly give out.

I wish Yellowstone would calm it's tits.

Granted, but now uhh another park is freaking out.

I wish I had a million dollars.

Granted but you can't spend it on anything.

I wish for my own personal rocket ship.

Granted, but it doesn't work.
I wish I was mentally stable.

Granted, but now you're financially unstable.

I wish raisins didn't exist

Granted, but human jerky is now a thing

I wish I could be as fab as mdom

Granted but you can never have a stuffed animal again.

I wish I had some fresh beats to listen to.

Granted, but you can only hear them at 150db

I wish it wasn't so late

Granted but now it's fall again already.

I wish I had a personal assistant.

Granted, but she's incompetent as hell
I wish I could pay my back rent

Granted, but now no grocery money left

I wish I knew how to read sheet music

Granted, but now you don't know how to read words.
I wish I had a yogurt.

Granted but it has been out of the fridge for a day.

I wish that I had a truck.

Granted, but its neon orange with a huge confederate flag painted on.
I wish I could sleep through the night