Granted, but you become blind from its magnificence.

I wish for more oars.

Granted but now all you have is oars.

I wish I was still sleeping

granted, but the sleep is eternal

i wish i could cook the perfect souffle

Granted, but it's gonna cost 100k!!

I wish my nipple didn't hurt

granted but now your butt does

i wish my computer had faster processors

Granted, but now you're thrown to the wolves without any idea what the heck you're doing.

I wish these nicotine patches were stickier.

Granted, but since you clocked out earlier you receive less money!

I wish my hormones didn't want to kill me.

Whoops, granted, but it ends up dyeing everything green. Permanently. (On the bright side, literal green thumb.)

I wish I had even more varieties of tea at home.

Granted, but now you won't ever drink pure water again, only tea!!

I wish I didn't have to take the trash tomorrow.

Pfft, you think that's a problem? I loathe drinking plain water.

Granted. Buuuut the smell lingers. And lingers. And lingers yet. You cannot rid the house of the trash odor.

I wish I didn't have an artists' block.

Granted, but now you have no back, you just slither way like a snake! A rainbow snake!!


I wish the doctor was free tomorrow and not a week away <.<

Granted, but you must wait in the waiting room for several hours with nothing but old magazines for entertainment.

I wish I could just teleport home tomorrow.

Granted! But now to leave you must do it moonwalking.


I wish I didn't have to go out today.

Granted, but you're hospitalized with a painful condition.

I wish, I wish with all my heart to fly with dragons in a land apart.

Granted, but now you can't touch the ground anymore.

I wish this video loaded faster.

Granted, but now every other site loads slower than a snail
I wish I wasn't so tired right now

Granted! But all your tiredness will crash you during the weekend.

I wish I didn't have to wake up early tomorrow.

Granted but now you wake up early every day but this day.

I wish this song wasn't stuck in my head.

Granted! Now cartoon openings are stuck in your head.

I wish I never had to wake up early :P

Granted, but now waking up and getting out of bed is even harder.

I wish I had an Nintendo Switch!

Granted, but you are stuck in a time loop.

I wish learning new things wouldn't make my head throb.

Granted, but now you break a bone every time you learn something new.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, but now you can never land!

I wish I didn't have this huge zit in my forehead

Granted, but now it's on your genitals at twice the size

I wish magic was real

Granted, but you're a muggle

I wish I could sleep for 24h

granted, but u have to stay awake for 24h afterwards

i wish i had photographic memory

Granted! But now you can't forget any gruesome moment... ever

I wish my finger wasn't hurt

Granted, because said finger never existed!

I wish I could read minds!

Granted, but the dirty thoughts of the elderly are the loudest thoughts.

I wish I wasn't lactose intolerant!

Granted! Now you're water intolerant!!


I wish I didn't have to poop

Granted, but now you always feel like you have to pee.

I wish I could shapeshift!

Granted, but you lose your sense of identity.

I wish I had some classic ranch rn. :L

Granted, but its only like half of a dipping cups worth.

I wish I didn't have so much anxiety about work and my boss.

Granted, but now you have a lot of anxiety about everything else.

I wish I had normal-sized feet

granted, but they stanky af

I wish I could disable some animations in Animal Crossing Pocket Camp. >-|o