Eek!

Granted, but the person sitting next to you has an extremely loud and growling stomach from missing his lunch--as he was about to eat the moment the flight was about to leave.

I wish floors wouldn't make creaking noises.

Granted! But now breathing is like turning a car on.

I wish we didn't have to sleep to function.

Granted! But now everyone uses the lights 24/7 and by 2020 no one can see stars in the sky anywhere except in the Amazon rainforest.

I wish allergies didn't exist

Granted, but now he is actually to clingy and its being to not only be a huge turn-off, but a huge inconvenience and dangerous to your well being!

I wish the pizza would get here faster =O

Granted! But the delivery guy asked you to pay double for his/her tip!

I wish I would finish my homework on before 3 AM today.

D: but I am using a coupon oh no!

You finish your homework by 11pm, but when you wake up at 7am you realize it was for the wrong class!

I wish this guacamole had smaller bits of avocado

Granted, but the avocado are micro size so the guacamole is now 99% water. 1% guacamole.

I wish my glasses were delivered to my eye doctor already.

Granted but when they send them back to you they put someone else's lenses in by accident and now you have to send them back again!

(Terrible about the guac D: water guac? seriously? that's so gnar D:)
I wish I would remember to dip my pizza in the ranch before I eat my last slice. . .
(I always think about it after the fact)

Granted but it is missing more then half the alphabet and keeps spelling out swear words to you. . .

I wish Frosted animal cookies didn't cost so much D:

Granted, trees now grow back super fast. So whenever you cut one down, you just have to wait a couple of minutes for the next one to respawn. However after a while the trees notice they are able to claim back all territories man stole from their cold bare twigs centuries ago. Every city overgrows and soon all that's left of modern civilization are mere memories. The environment is doing better than ever.

I wish it wasn't too hot to sleep in my room right now.

Granted! But at the end of the year you've spent too much money on auctions!

I wish animals could human-speak.

Granted, but now your pets blackmail you with all those dirty little secrets they found out over the years.

I wish I knew what to put into my forum sig.

Granted, but those abilities only show when you're completely intoxicated.

I wish no one will ever be harmed anymore because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Granted, but you get sucked into a plan turbine.
I wish I could rule the world.

*nods to Twinkle* So sad and yet so true.

Boris, I gift you a ruler and a drawing of the world cut from unruled paper. You're free to do whatever you please to it, rule it, checker it, draw obscene stuff...

I wish I could study at a renowned university.

You do now! But the doggo ate all your shoes and peed on your clothes.

I wish I could sing well.

Granted! Unfortunately, your hair has the natural curl of a poodle.

I wish fireworks didn't scare my cats so much. :c

Granted but all of a sudden money is useless and the world exists on trade!

I wish I had more time to myself this weekend

Granted but no one is reading anymore D:

I wish I had less office work to do

Granted. But your chores are now multiplied by ten.

I wish I had more energy.

Granted, but you are no longer real.
I wish I could fly.

Granted, but only when nobody is watching.

I wish my bra didn't have lost one strap.

Granted, but their life span is cut in half.
I wish I had perfect vision.

Granted but you're actually a plastic action figure.
I wish I could be a Pokemon master!

Granted but it's because you live on the moon.

I wish I had an infinite supply of Surge soda!