Granted but now the gloss peels off faster!

I wish my eyeball would stop swelling and hurting and weeping at the same time.

Granted! But now from 0:00 to 8:00 your eyeball swells. From 8:00 to 16:00 your eyeball hurts. From 16:00 to 24:00 your eyeball weeps.

I wish lost things were easier found.

Granted! But you find them covered in a weird goo.

I wish I hadn't ran out of ice cream.

Granted, but now your ice-cream runs to you!

I wish there was a part of the earth that felt like spring all year round.

GRANTED but you live in the part of the earth that is winter all year round and it costs to much to go there until your in your late 50s!

I wish Mondays weren't so busy

Granted. Now your weekends are busy.

I wish I had more energy.

GRANTED but it was only for that moment and it's gone now.

I wish I could get into the art mood easier

Granted! But now you get into the art mood whenever you're about to fall asleep!

I wish I knew when Easter was without googling.

Granted but now you forgot all the other holidays and have to google them instead!

I wish this week goes easy enough .-.

Granted! But the rest of the year is terrible.

I wish it was winter already.

Granted! But all the young birds died from the cold.

I wish I could see through teachers to the board.

Granted but you unfortunately see through the board to the wall also D:

I wish dinner would make itself

Granted! But it tastes horrible!!

I wish my hair painted itself xD

Granted but it damages your hair worse then usual and you start having super severe breakage problems
I wish my dnd character hadn't died today D:

Oh Nooo!! Granted but then they lost all their levels.

I wish my bag would unpack itself.

I was only level 2 and we decided to try to attack an orc village SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooo........................ ............

Granted but everything in there gets put in the wrong spots. You find shirts under the kitchen sink and shoes in the bathtub. What is even going on now!?!?

I wish to have the will to get up to cook XD -still hasn't-

^y did u do that xD

Granted, but you burn your food (jk go eat!!!)

I wish SparX had the will to get up to cook!

Granted but somehow I still don't get up to do it!
Someone layed hands on me so we survived XD My character does not have to be put in the graveyard. Just chillin till next weeks game XD

I wish my dog hadn't just farted oh lord this is terrible D:

Well, at least you didn't attack the horrible Gazebo...

Granted, instead of farting your dog just pooped. Not that it makes the smell any better, and now you also have to deal with the remains, but hey - as your resident fairy I'm only granting wishes, not judging them.

I wish Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and every other being who brings gifts according to what parents tell little kids were actually real.

Granted, but they were all registered child sex offenders.

I wish there was no such thing as canker sores.

Granted but instead there are similar sores that appear in your nose instead

I wish I had a few bucks for a loaf of bread XD

...which is why you don't wear pants anymore, I suppose? *smirks*

Granted. You shall receive Buck Rogers, Buck the dog, Buck Pierce and Buck Angel. Of course I don't know who's giving you a loaf of bread for them, but once again I'm not the one to judge wishes.

I wish to find a friend whose demons play well with mine ^^

Granted but the demons are generally a bit violent in play and you often have to put them in timeout and go home after apologizing to your friend for your demons behavior. . . .

I wish I didn't have to mix 400lbs of dirt today T.T

Granted. It's 800lbs!!

I wish I had motivation to exercise...

Granted but whenever you have motivation its raining!

I wish it was my day off already. . ..

Granted, but on your day off you can't stop sneezing!

I wish my hands were more steady...

Granted but now your legs and feet are constantly shaking!
(how dare you fill my day off with sneezes D:)

I wish today goes well with the new employee

Granted. Unfortunately, things go a little too well and you get replaced by the new employee and now have no job.

I wish I was better at filling out applications.

You are great at it now! unfortunately now that is your job and its all you do for the next 30 years .-.
I hope my friends cancel our plans this weekend. . . .

Granted! They've decided to make new plans for the weekend!

I wish my calculator didn't have to be on to charge.

They did technically cancel the dinner part without telling us D:

I wish this week goes by quickly

Granted! But you find out you've forgotten to do a lot of things!

I wish marshmallows were harder.

Granted but now despite its texture it's completely flavorless!

I wish I could enjoy being drunk without hangovers.

Granted but now you get hangovers from not being drunk
or wait
is that withdrawals?
hmmmmmm. . . .
I wish I didn't have to go back to work for stupid reasons 2 hours after I already left D:

D: Granted, but now you have to go back to work for serious reasons.

I wish lack of sleep didn't give me diarrhea.

I actually did .-. Ended up manifesting a bunch of orders for this week and printing out labels

Granted but now sleep gives you constipation? What is life even D:

I wish I could stop questioning my existence

Granted, but now you question everyone else's existence. Are they really there?

I wish I didn't have to exercise.

Granted but now . . . well . .. your health has started deteriorating to say the least. . . .

I wish Idaho wasn't gonna be hotter then home D:

Granted, but Idaho's potatoes start causing cold fires.

I wish humans weren't so fragile.

Granted but now you can't even cut your own nails and they start growing out hella weird and shit, and same with your hair and nose and ears. . .. . .

I wish my flight hadn't gotten delayed 2 fucking hours D: