Granted, but once you change your appearance, your house will get mobbed by fans daily.

I wish I had wings to fly.

Granted. But they are present only whilst asleep.

I wish i had a big bag of tree-ripened peaches, fresh and very aromatic.

Granted, but all of them have been eaten by worms on the inside.

I wish my will to do more could come back soon.

Granted, but everything you do comes out poorly...

I wish I had more wishes.

Granted but they won't be granted

I wish I will get all A's this semester

Granted, but now you can only speak and write with words that start with "A"
I wish I didn't suck at everything...

Granted, but now you can never use a straw or vacuum cleaner again! (because they suck, like, as in the verb).

I wish I didn't get headaches anymore.

Granted, but now you are headless...
I wish I had more motivation

Granted, but it was more motivation to be lazy than to be motivated to do anything else.

I wish I can get free money

Granted, but you've been charged with money laundering and will most likely go to prison.
I wish I could talk to my OCs

Granted, but they never. Ever. Stop. Talking.

I wish it was easier to carve wood.

Granted, but wood is now so easy to carve that trees having been dying from the inability to hold themselves up.

I wish I had more time in a day.

Granted, but days now last 48 hours more than usual.

I wish I was good at sewing doll clothes.

Granted but they never work or fit with the dolls you want them to!

I wish I wasn't so scared from driving today D:

Granted! But now something dangerous does happen.

I wish Brooklyn would flood and my midterms get postponed.

Granted! Unfortunately, everyone is really good at re-organizing after the flood and the midterms are only postponed by a few hours.

I wish I wasn't so bored...

granted but now you have no time to do anything but everything at once!

I wish this cat scratch didn't sting so bad D:

Granted! But now it's bleeding!

I wish photocopiers would actually copy pencil legibly.

granted but now it only sees pen as super glossy and wont photocopy

I wish my boss would go into the stores himself XD

Granted! But now he does nothing else!

I wish my printer would print when I wanted it to

wow look you said real life XD
Granted! but now it also prints when you don't want it to

I wish I had more then just rice for a dinner side....

Granted! Your dinner side is now a whole turkey with 12 potatoes!

I wish studying was easier

Well shit this corruption is awesome
GRANTED but the test taking is harder

I wish soda wasn't so seriously fizzy XD

Oh no D:
Granted! But now soda's mostly flat!

I wish good peanut butter was less expensive.

Granted but it is also really really unhealthy for you!

I wish I could remember the music that used to give me art inspiration >.>

Granted! But you find it's no longer inspiring!

I wish I could find a collection of melodic music without voices that wasn't on piano or strings.

Granted, but it's all so quiet you can barely hear it!

I wish my headphones weren't broken.

Granted! But now your audio jack is broken!

I wish bugs would respect doors and windows.

Granted! But while they are very respecful towards doors and windows, they still will enter them. And they still don't respect your space...

I wish that it didn't have to be so cold to snow.

Aww D:

Granted! But now it has to be very hot to snow!

I wish bugs respected personal space x'D

Granted, but they stay just out of your personal space and swarm around your "bubble" always hissing, clicking, and scurrying nearby. So much, You can hear them moving around and under your bed while you sleep....

I wish this weekend is awesome =3

That's scary @~@

Granted! But the next week is the opposite of awesome.

I wish the lamp light was less yellow.

Now the lamp light is... more red!!

I wish I was in a better mood.

Yeah next weekend is already sucky XD

Granted, but tomorrow you will be in todays mood.

I wish I knew what to have for dinner

Aww, red light would be even worse xD

Granted! But what you want will take a long time to make

I wish I could watch my grade's semi-formal party without going to it.

Granted but since you were/weren't there you have no memories but a few pictures someone took to remember that you were/weren't there.

I wish it was time to leave and go shopping already...

I wasn't there, so even a few pictures would be good xD!

Granted! But when you go to the shopping you have the wait the same amount of time because the doors got jammed and need to be fixed.

I wish my right hand knew how to type.

Your right hand can type now, but your left hand is all limp.

I wish I wasn't feverish.

Granted, but you still have sniffles and coughs without the fever.

I wish I could see clearly without glasses.

Granted! But now you can't smell at all :(

I wish I didn't have to wake up early tomorrow.