I'm gonna be watching lets plays of the FFVII Remake cause I don't have a PS4. >< But it's quite alright. XD

Sometimes I get a little sad that I have fancy nail polishes and do cute nail art and no one really comments on them unless I make a point of showing them off.
XP
But...it's just polish I guess.

I think it's been spring all along and we just skipped winter.

Nah it's still really cold here. ;_; We haven't entered Spring yet.

We got to see all of the seasons in a span of 48 hours here. We went from 66 degrees and sunny, to 50 degrees with intense thunderstorms, to 20 degrees and sleet.

Omg I am so bored today and people keep calling with questions I don't have answers to because no one ever tells me anything about upcoming events and where the information on them is!

Tracked down a new roaster at the farmer's market. Seems promising because what I tried there was nice and not over roasted like everyone else in the area. But I live too far out from their delivery radius.

I'm hooked on Fate Grand Order :x

i despise the people in this town. we're not a bank, stop making your financial problems our problem.

I should journal my interactions with wildlife. Not that it would be particularly interesting. But there seems to be something new every day.

;U; I just want to play video games...that's all I want. Video games. Memes. Snuggles. and SOME sort of clarity or certainty in my desired life direction!
Is that too much to ask??? ;n; That's not too much to ask for.

vaguely wishing my voice was deeper so that i could do voiceovers for videos.

Derpy waddles through, bundled up in a large blanket.
"Make it stop being cold pwease!"

Trade you. Wednesday's high is 72.

Derpy looks at the thermometer, which is reading -4 degrees.
"Deal!"

hhhhh oh gods what are feelings. can i go back to deluding myself that i'm 100% aro/ace and not just nebulously on the deep end of the spectrum?

when i said, "plant the boot on my arse and kick me forward", i didn't... expect you would actually do that, and now i'm juggling feelings for you *and* her. that's not fair.

There is nothing wrong with shifting where you fall on the spectrum at any time.

yes but now things are *complicated* and i don't like complicated.

everything is chemicals at the end of the day. sometimes it takes time to realize where you fall on a spectrum, and that's alright.

Speaking of chemicals, my own chemicals just randomnly decide to make me feel things during, before or after my period. I shrug them off, but sometimes they kinda get to me. ^~^; Like wanting to visciously destroy a fax machine, or cry into a pair of fluffy arms.

>x{ Damn chemicals mucking things up and making me feel like a total nutcase!
>8( Also for getting me hot n' bothered as well as super depressed!
Sorry, this doesn't seem to relate to Espy's situation... >~>;

<xc Actual shout tho:
I don't know what to do with myself. ;_; I'm scared to try getting a job because I feel like no one would ever hire me, and it'll make me even more depressed feeling like I have no value to anyone, while at the same time,
if I do get hired, it means I'll be stuck in that job until I could find another one I'm also unhappy in. ;U; </3 *covers face with jacket* All I wanna do for money is travel and write..but I can't get that job because I have no credibility...aaaaaaaaaaaa

Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who had passions that pay. People who know what they want to be when they grow up and can make it happen.
Instead I'm an adult who will never know what they want to be when they grow up. And my passions are things you can't really make a living at. No one is gonna pay me to snuggle cats. Or read books quietly. To myself. Without writing a review or article afterwards. Or to sit at home and loom knit. (And yeah, people will buy the things I make...so long as I massively undervalue my time. Because no one wants to pay almost $70 for a hand-made, one of a kind, stuffed animal when they can pick up some cheaply made, mass-produced in a sweatshop stuffed animal at Walmart for $5. So I basically have to charge 50%-80% less than I should in order to actually sell anything.)

Thanks for the comments guys XD I've been watching the movie on Disney+ and the song has been in my head lol

<x} I had to Kitty. The Belle cosplay is so great! How could I not?

Also, just bought the sugar swirl recoloring collection with the rest of my runes and I am happy to have gotten the single item I was eyeing in it for a while...<x}

Thank you 8D

And yay! :3

mhhhhhhhhhhhhh

feels like i can't really trust any food made here right now bc, y'know. FUCKING FRUIT FLIES.

i already have trouble actually feeling hungry.

I feel that struggle, Espy :(
I don't even really reply anymore when people ask me my "orientation". I always call myself a "something-sexual". I feel like I can't fit into any one label... And if I did, there's probably like 15 labels that would have to label the one label that makes the whole label make sense. It's extremely confusing to figure out where exactly I'd fit on the spectrums... and I think , for me, the labels don't help me much anyway!

Now for the shout;

For the record, that is absolutely not a reason to stop early if you can help it.

How far away is her office?

Getting there on a good day takes about an hour...
But driving home in traffic can take over 2 hours..

Yesterday my session ended around 4pm and we didn't make it home until a few minutes after 6pm...

erp. too many shots in too little time.

This is fine. :')

can't be arsed to do shit. anhedonia makes everything unenjoyable.

far too afraid / apprehensive to write an rp character because of an extremely unprofessional DM from a server admin after getting banned from a server for being a dick (which i can't exactly dispute because no evidence was given). gotta love it when your character gets called a manchild when they're neurodivergent (left ambiguous, leaning more towards ADHD). there was absolutely no reason whatsoever to bring up my character in the first place.

also now i have an aversion to being DM'd. which i already had, somewhat, but it's gotten worse.

https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/2q97...-is-fine.0.jpg

:(

I dunno if this is weird or just me..
Have you ever felt like, when you have struggles (specifically mental health ones) and you talk to someone who has experience and you feel like... like they try to "one up" you?

Someone I know mentioned this in a chat I was in. It makes it hard to talk about mental health struggles sometimes with people like that. Although, I know it's rarely ever without good intentions. I think some people (I know I'm this way!) try to relate or be empathetic when someone is struggling and they talk about their own stories/experience..

I know this happens often in MH chats, I've been in several mental health forums and chats for years now and this has never failed to happen at least once in all of them.

Like, you might say, "Yeah, I had a panic attack today and it ruined my day." and the response would be, "Oh? Yeah, I have panic attacks every day."

I know it's not with ill-intentions, I do believe that everyone struggles and we are all just trying to relate with each other, especially those of us with mental health problems since the stigma is so bad, we need to support each other more than ever. But it feels invalidating sometimes when that happens... And it happens all the time.

I'm not angry about it, I am not bitter because I know I am guilty also of trying to relate/empathize and having it come out as invalidating.
I just wanted to point it out... since it's the shout anyway. :P



FHSFHDKGFDJG RAAAAAAAAAH

yeah people don’t fucking get that there’s no fucking olympics or gold medal for mental illnesses

Have you ever noticed that when people talk about weather too??

I used to be in this group chat and it felt like civil war when we'd discuss weather..
"What's the weather there today?" "Oh, it's cold today. -30." "Oh yeah? It's -40 here!"

Like...????

I dunno. My friend and I used to laugh about how some people always feel like they have to have it "worse off". Weather is weather, though? Some people think 50F is cold! Like... it all depends on the person. And no one wins a medal for "coldest weather" so....??

:P

How are you today, Espy?

Mate, I’m in Arizona, everyone here thinks 50 is cold.

I’ll admit to occasionally trying to one-up people in weather complaints, mostly because Arizona is fucking atrocious.

I’m, um... feeling kind of weird, but.

If someone is sharing experiences/mental health stuff I will also share mine but out of sympathy and letting them know they aren't alone.

I'm not like my dad who used to be all "I had it worse than you you don't have a right to be upset!" and thanks to that I hardly ever talk about my struggles cause I feel no one will wanna hear/will say I'm not "truly suffering". .-. Unless they say otherwise.

I live in California and will complain when it's 50 degrees out idc who says that ain't cold. :p-ugh: ITS COLD TO MEEEEE.

currently on period. had my brother's younger brother try and come in while i was using the toilet, mostly by accident.

either way i did have to yell that i was using the toilet, probably wasn't loud enough, since, y'know, i'm often pretty quiet.

"They followed me home, can I keep them? Pwease?"
https://i.postimg.cc/d0xST3zn/20200117-220136.jpg

Advanced klutz mode was enabled today and made a fool of myself many times, turning heads. Got to see some sculptures in the area neat cactus wall decor. My phone's camera hates focusing, though.