Granted all the food you try and touch rots before it gets into your mouth. :C

I wish my girlfriend lived closer.

Granted, however she has amnesia and doesn't remember who you are.

I wish I could meet my hero.

Granted, but soon after you meet he/she dies in a tragic accident.

I wish that I could get food delivered so I didn't have to cook.

Granted, but all the food delivered was rotten or disgusting.

I wish i could live inside of videogames for as long as i want, and never die. (aka if i die in the game i dont die in real life)

Granted, but your life will never be good whilst in the real world.

I wish it would snow

Granted. It snows... on the other side of the world.

I wish I was a witch/wizard.

Granted, but you were burned to death by your local neighbors.

I wish Ashy was here...

Granted but you have become both her butt monkey, and her new Kami.

I wish that my papers were completed and given a good grade.

granted but they were immediately ripped up.

I wish my friends were online when I am.

Granted, but your internet connection is so lousy that it doesn't matter if they're on or not.

I wish I could control whether it's daytime or nighttime, so I can go on a sunlit walk at the dead of night!

Granted, however it rains anytime you are outside.

I wish for the next post on this thread.

Granted, but it's not a particularly good one.

I wish for all the dragon balls!

Granted. You get the wrong kind of balls, and now all dragons are eunuchs.

I wish for a snow day.

Granted, but now you're stuck at home and ran out of grocery. Oh dear.

I wish I don't have to work 5 days a week.

Granted - you have to work 7 days a week!
I wish to go back in time by 4 months...with memory of what has happened, and what will happen...and an ability to affect change and live my life...

Granted, but the next day when you wake up, you find out that going back and the change you made was only a dream.

I wish that I could instantly watch any movie I wanted without having to download/stream anything.

Granted; you become Hollywood, sex, drugs, suicide, and all.

I wish to skip my next wish.

Granted; but you must grant all the wish you see

i wish for a kingdom to rule over

Granted: You are now owner of a bankrupt Burger King

-skipped wish-

The Thread Train appears. It grows to monstrous proportions. Steam hisses and wails as boilers and cylinder cocks shift and rearrange. Thousands upon thousands of metal plates unhinge themselves and restructure, reforming into a hulking bipedal mass of steel and steam. Transforming Thread Train leans down in to your face and warns you very sternly.

"Do NOT derail the Thread Train."


I wish for a Donkey of Infinite Stamina.

Granted. You have a donkey of infinite stamina.

Alas, it refuses to walk beyond your front door. Yes, it insists on living inside your house.


I wish for cheese.

You now have expired cheese. It is also Cottage Cheese. Severely expired Cottage Cheese.

I wish for a d20 that only rolls natural 20's.

Granted, but your DM bars in on account of every number on it is a 20.


I wish for dice of invisibility!

*Grants all wishes above as stipulated by my wish*
*Give Quiet an invisible die* But...how can you see it?

I wish for clones of Na'lsa...

*Firstly, Na'lsa is Salone's Demon of Gluttony, so that was a splendid corruption of a corrupt wish*

Granted: You died in the process of the filming, causing controversy that cancelled the Vampiric Horror before it was released.

I wish to become Father Time, with complete control of time and space.

*Gives frozen raw steak (with bloods and extra frozen worms-I mean protein) and taters like they serve in high school cafeterias (mold and all)*

I wish for every day to be 48, rather than 24, hours...and for the human lifespan to be twice as long.

Granted, but the slowing of the earth's rotation causes crops to suffer and die due to their natural cycles not catching up. The tides become right loony what with the moon still moving at its regular pace. Tidal waves and famine tear the world asunder and humanity is forced to subsist in a hellish landscape. The increased lifespan also throws the population out of balance what with more children being born and less people dying right away, and you are all forced to follow A Modest Proposal and devour the young to keep the older alive.

I wish for 10 Cadbury Eggs every day for the rest of my life to enjoy at my leisure.

Granted, but by the time you make it one year into your wish all the Cadbury factories go belly up, and you wind up stuck with only stale out dated Cadbury Eggs.

I wish for a peaceful night with both of my kids going to bed at a decent hour with no fight.

And everyone falls asleep on time.
... then, ....
...... I'm sorry I just can't corrupt that wish it's too cute. And REAL!

My wish is money. Lots of it!

Thanks Faux, lol.

Granted, but you can only invest it in the stock market. No cash in hand for joo. O.o

I wish I could go eat at Azteca Grill. God I haven't eaten there since I was pregnant. >.<

Granted, but the staff is actual Aztecs and you wind up becoming the food on the grill.

Oh goooooosh you're right. I forgot. I might not have been...entirely paying attention. I accept the full consequences of my wish being manhandled and drown under the weight of everything suddenly appearing before me.


You wish is granted. You get a year's supply of salsa.
Last year's supply of salsa.


I wish for a never ending kettle of Peppermint Tea.

*Mixes peppers and mints and belladonna into a tea.*
Here you go.

I wish for a good life.

And you get a good life, for your goldfish.

I want an endless cup of decafe coffee.

Granted you get "decafe" coffee. Which does not exist. You get nothing.

I wish I could alter reality to my liking.

Granted Ultima, granted. But the reality you are altering is in fact an alternate reality that you are not part of, therefore you are constantly reshaping existence itself for untold masses while you struggle to make your world a better place for you and fail!

I wish I had 100 Speckled Eggs so I could just buy all of the event items multiple times already!