golly. this is such a depressing conversation v_____v

>:} *grabs a lighter and bottle of liquor* The humans shall pay! Give me money to make things hotter/destructive!
And wow, I really have the completely wrong avi for all the violent nonsense I'm getting up to today.. o_0

Did you all have a good Halloween ?

I threw the biggest temper tantrum of my life on Halloween this year

yeah, i stole all of the blue gummy sweets from the bowl

what happened?

Oooh. I can't eat many gummies anymore because they have gelatin and I'm vegetarian.

Honestly, it was really really stupid.
I don't know why, but I was just really emotional on Halloween. I was wearing cat ears and had cat makeup... We parked in the garage and I took off my sweater and attempted to take a picture of my "costume"... But I realized that my cat ears fell off...
At first, I assumed they fell in the car, so I scrounged all around the car and could not find them...

I had a massive temper tantrum because I knew that Mom likely noticed my ears fell and brought them upstairs to our apartment. She took the car keys with her but was planning to come back to the car. We just stopped at home to pick something up and then we'd keep going. I'm usually not very emotional like that, but I literally like fell to the floor and was crying and kicking the car...

And mom came back and was like, "Seriously, Ava??? Crying over some cat ears?"


It was stupid and I feel really dumb for even doing that c:
I'm sure some other people in the garage probably heard me too...

it feels like something else is wearing hard on you and the ears were just a small break along a very big crack

That's very likely.

I've been very overly stressed last month leaking into this month.
At the same time, I have made so many new friends who are very kind and funny and have been building me up.

Event though I've been going through hard times, I find that I've been the most relaxed and this is the most I've laughed in a long time.

<3

i wonder if it would help you to have a frank conversation with someone that will listen without judging you or having a preestablished history with you and yours

i am glad you are finding comfort<3 i hope we can all help continue that progression ^^

the way this hangout is titled reminds me of menewsha. and now i'm feeling the nostalgia, with a slightly heartbroken inflection :p-cry:

i haven't been to that site in so long i don't know the association

i wish i could join menewsha. certainly would've loved to see what i could make.

it's a similar pattern of titling hangouts that was popular on menewsha at one point :f-happy: here are some sample hangout titles from menewsha:
*Fancypants* For the culturally inclined and aspiring ~ In today's episode: Biggles reveals her potentially unsettling breadth of knowledge on talking mummies in literature
[[ASGARD]] We asked, Mom doesn't mind us wearing her drapes
ERMAHGERD'S THRERD ~ Sleeping is Dumb, Stay Up all Night! ~
Menewshans Against Humanity: like night blogging, only better!

i love menewsha but the owner seems to have abandoned it. like the site's all glitchy but isn't getting coding attention, although the servers are being paid for. there's a hangout where they're trying to keep mene afloat and figuring out if there's a way to contact the owner, since as of now they rarely come on mene :p-frown: it's not too late yet, but i'm trying not to get my hopes up too much either.

hjkhkj i wasn't even aware of that sort of thing. i sort of just made another hangout bc the old one seemed a bit awkward to revive.

oof. man, i'd love to get into coding on that site, but given that contracts signed by minors aren't exactly good in the legal sense, i'd probably have to be taken on as a volunteer or wait until i'm eighteen.

i also think that the, uh. sign up thing might be broken? idk, this is stuff i've heard.

I posted on Menewsha yesterday after reading the post in here talking about it

I liked Menewsha a lot. I made really cool friends there,
Most of them left, but some have migrated to Discord or Pantheon, so I still get to see them occasionally

yee. there's usually another site that pops up when another one dies, i think.

i'm sort of sad bc it seems like avatar sites like this one are dying, y'know? idk how gaiaonline has a huge userbase when it's mostly advertisements.

I hear you

I recently saw a forum I used to use often die...
It was a teen forum, and mostly all of us who used it in it's hay day have all grown up and are no longer "teens"... Also, while it was slowly, slowly dying, the admins and mods said it was likely because Facebook, Instagram and other forms of social media have blown up, it seems less and less people are interested in old-fashioned, text-based forums.

It's really sad to see whole communities like that die, though :(

i sort of prefer discord for roleplay nowadays over tumblr / forums tbh, mostly because i can instantly get to it rather than having to scroll down to the post, reblog it, draft it and then end up procrastinating because it's in my drafts.

I like the instantaneous replies I get in chats/discord settings...

But for 1-1 discussions or really any deep discussion, I like forums.
It gives me more time to think about what I want to say and how to word it.

Also, sometimes discord channels move so quickly and it starts making me anxious even if I am not in the conversation

yee, that's p understandable.

discord's pretty neat in the fact that you can leave something for later and easily come back to it.

i can do long responses, but it isn't comfortable for me to do so. sort of like how i tend to write shorter fic compared to longer fic. arbitrary wordcount goals don't really feel right.

i do try and make an attempt to match length.

i like both instant replies and dedicated places for posting when doing rps though to be fair i've been that way for years, hahaha

see, and now i am sad my husband cannot write for anything x''D that sounds like it would be fun

you are so lucky<3<3

-nods-


btw, you said d&d? do you have a current favorite character?

That's adorable :D

I havne't RP'd in a hot minute. I think because while RPing used to be an "escape" of sorts for me, my anxiety has been making it hard. I get too nervous that I'll upset my partners so it makes me feel self conscious about my writing...

I had a couple of really good RPs going on recolor.me , but since I've been struggling with my mental health and other life issues, I have been feeling more stress and less relief from RPing :(

i can understand that too. i stepped away from rping for a couple years when i had that issue

for me, i feel stressed about instant chatting as well. in forum sites, taking a hiatus is also acceptable. so forums are the only ways of communicating online that i'm 100% comfortable with. i like that i'm not expected to reply quickly or at all, really. because sometimes i don't even have the energy to let people know that i don't have the energy to text on social media.

watching a video on simple AI in brainfuck, an esoteric programming language. the AI apparently plays tic-tac-toe.

esoteric programming languages completely piss me off and it's mildly hilarious because the whole point of 'why' is that it's not intended to be good.

there's one based on twilight sparkles' letters to princess celestia, traditionally at the end of episodes.

That seems...pointless. though I guess most things are in the grand scheme of things.

yeah. it's entirely pointless.

admittedly, it is pretty funny, though.

have you tried rps where you dm? those can be fun

i just like roleplaying in discord bc it's easy for me lmao.