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Syrgei looks around a moment, realizing that, besides Tsaerri, two others of their number are missing, "Hey," hey he says to Gambooge. "Where's Ed and Dan?"
Of course, if he didn't see them, there's a fair chance the elementalist hasn't, either. This is the last thing we need. "Maybe Ed just followed Tsaerri, or..." Actually, I'm not sure that would be a good thing. Shaking his head, he decides to start scanning the surrounding area from their modest hill-top. He sees Dan not too far down the path, loping back towards them. He meets the charr down the path. "Hey, Dan. Have you see Eduardo? It's probably not the best for him to go wandering off." It isn't long before he sees Eduardo making his own way toward them, followed by... what, is that? ...flashes of purple and a small hunched figure bouncing along the landscape. "Nevermind." |
"Hm? Oh, yeah, the plant thing was talking to Tsaerri."
You're leaving the other part out Dan. "And she shot at me. I mean her phantasms. But it's okay. I mean they didn't hit me. It actually went better than expected." Really Dan? No flashbacks? Nothing? You have been shot at before Dan, where's your episode? Dan grimaced, bursting in to actual speech to address the little voice. "I have been shot at so many times that there are too many traumatic experiences queuing up to trigger me right now so they're all politely bickering among themselves, alright?" He panted, giving Syrgei a wild-eyed look before looking away. "I'm sorry, I wasn't, um...talking to you. Things are well. Or will be. Yes." Inside his head, the voice snickered. |
do I want to know? No, probably not.
"um, okay, as long as she didn't...hit you." What was expected? Shooting at other guild members...I probably shouldn't be surprised. Do phantasms act on their own or does she tell them...forget it. Skaeye, we need to talk. |
"They wouldn't--" Heave. "Do anything." Heave. "I wouldn't do." Tsaerri tries to smirk at Syrgei as she pulls Ed's money back to the group, but it comes out as more of a grimace.
Deciding that's close enough, she leaves it and walks over to the others, trying to conceal how out of breath she is. She approaches Ed. "What were you thinking? Why didn't you call for help? You could have been killed!" |
Eduardo looked taken aback, confused at Tsaerri's sudden outburst.
"Hwhy hwould I have been killed? They were simply a roving band of highway philosophers. I have encountered their ilk before. They all ask the same question. It's rather odd. I think I've gotten it right this time however." He beamed, looking quite proud of himself before he noticed his bag of gold at her feet. "That's erm...their payment, you know. They always request it." And what does Dan think about all this? Dan stared slack jawed at the large bag of gold. While he could quite clearly figure out what a "highway philosopher" was, he was confounded how the Sylvari had survived this long in life if he was just doling out fat sacks of cash to everyone who asked for it. Oh no you don't. You're insane Dan, but you're not stupid. Don't even try it. Dan cleared his throat, piping up. "I, um, I could philosophicosalize. Judge people, before they judge you." The voice inside his head groaned. Dan instantly regretted it. Ed? How do you feel about that, erm...now is that really philosophy? Eduardo frowned, his brain trying to photosynthesize the words in to some sort of useful communication for his brain. And then he failed. "Um, no. No I think not. I apologize Dan, but I ahward you no philosophy, and your underhanded attempts to take advantage of my wealth is noted. You are not the of philosophers I am accustomed to." |
"Okay... look, Ed." She keeps her tone impressively even. "You're our valued client, and in the interest of keeping you safe... how do I put this?"
She takes hold of his coat and gently leads him a few steps away, lowering her voice. "Well, you see, those, er, 'highway philosophers' were going to murder you for your money. More like, uh... lumberjacks? Does that help? " I know you're like two years old at most, but Goddess! Work with me here. "I know this, because I used to be in that kind of work, but now I'm an upstanding guild-person, and I'm trying to convince you not to do that in the future. You're painting a giant target on our backs and will probably get us killed. Er, I mean, get you killed." And hopefully Syrgei. "No offense, but if it comes down to your money or my life, I'm out. Especially if you got us into that situation in the first place." Because I'm sure that inspires confidence. ...if he's even listening to me. |
*yoink*
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"Oh, I...I see..."
Eduardo sighed, his features becoming crestfallen and depressed. The eccentric Sylvari seemed to break on the inside. With a slow movement he sunk to the ground, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He slowly rocked back and forth, holding back tears as he processed all the times he had been duped of his coin. Oh, what a fool he had been. What an absolute fool. How could he be anything else? He had been unknowingly financing a large group of bandits, and they had played him like the idiot he was. After a moment, he stood up. Tears were wiped from his eyes. For the first time ever, he knew anger. He knew hate. He now knew what he must do. "I wish to go to the bandits. Take me to their leader. I am going to make this right." |
Tsaerri's eyes widened at the sudden shift in the Sylvari's demeanor.
Wow... I just pretty much told him there's no Santa Skritt, didn't I? Hope that doesn't mean a discount in our fee.... "You know, Ed, that's definitely something we could do. Unless I'm mistaken, their hideout is in the caves nearby. That is, unless our babysitter has any objections..." She throws a glare in Syrgei's direction. "Because if it wasn't implicit, violence is going to happen. It's one thing to try and arrest them out on the road, but we'd be walking into a nest of vipers. You don't go into a situation like that ready for anything but a fight? Are we clear on that?" |
Eduardo looked her up and down, malevolence readily apparent on his face.
"Arrest? Arrest?? Hwho said anything about making an arrest? No, I think we shall take a much more...executive role. I have essentially funded the massive bandit activity along these roads and I am going to set it right. No, an arrest would be far too simple. I require a sword. I am going to learn what it means to be an adventurer, the correct hway." He nodded, attempting to stand as imposingly as he could. It didn't do much for him, but he felt better for it. |
Syrgei leans towards Dan. "Did I hear that right?"
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Dan shuddered, remembering the only time he had picked up a sword. It hadn't felt right. It was if he was forbidden from using it.
And why is that Dan? Four people were missing a foot before he was able to put the sword down correctly. No matter how careful he was with it, it had kept...well, slicing, which would have been good against a group of faceless, one dimensional antagonists instead of a family that loved and cared for him. He let the thought go, grunting a response to the tight-with-words thief. "Seems the plant wants us to walk him closer so he can hit them with his sword. This can't end well." |
Tsaerri waits for a conspicuously long moment of awkward silence before volunteering, "I guess you can borrow one of mine, I do have extra. You'd better not lose it, though!"
With a snap, she brings out Monarch and flips it in her hand, catching it by the blade, and extends the ghostly hilt to Ed. "Are you sure this is a good idea, though? Do you even know how to fight?" |
Yes. Yes I did.
"It seems plans have changed." Syrgei says as he steps up next to Tsaerri and Eduardo. "That won't disappear on him, will it?" he gestures towards the gaseous purple sword. |
"Well, it'll disappear if I want it to... or if I get knocked unconscious, I guess." She rolls her eyes at the prospect. "And yes, I can still fight just fine, it's barely any extra effort. So, are we doing this or not?"
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Wasn't really you're abilities I was worried about, Syrgei thinks, not sure if he should openly question Eduardo's potential with a sword. If things go sour, he could always club one or two with that sack of gold I suppose.
Syrgei muses over the plan. If Ed wants to do it, they are obliged to follow, and cracking at the heart of the bandit problem is certainly appealing. As much as he preferred to give everyone a chance to change, certainly not everyone was going to take it. He can't help but entertain the thought of catching Big-Nose ted outside of city limits where he can't hide behind his bought-off city guard. |
"I am sure, and I think I know hwhich one is supposed to go in to the other man."
Eduardo hefted the weapon with relative ease, trying out a few practice swipes that caused Dan to cringe out of sympathy trauma before he collected himself. "I have giveth, and I will taketh away. No man swindles Eduardo Thicktree! Er, and gets ahway with it, that is. Let us go!" |
Well apparently this is settled.
"Let's go get the elementalist." |
Working off a tip from the chief engineer, they head to a small house near the reservoir that the bandits apparently use as their hideout. They arrive to find the door shut and no sign of activity on the outside.
"I think this is the place, Ed. You want to do the honors?" |
Of course I do!
Reaching back, Eduardo balled his hand in to a fist. With speed, he lunged towards the door, before delivering a very light knock. "Hello? Is any bandit home? I hwish to speak with you, if you are." He looked around at the group, a hopeful smile spread across his face. "I hope they're home. I hwill feel silly if they are out banditing. |
"Oh, Lys--" Tsaerri is cut off by the impact of her palm hitting her forehead. I really should have expected that...
Muffled voices are heard from the other side of the door. "Well it ain't the Seraph, they don't knock!" "So should we open? What if it's a trick?" "There's a hundred of us down here! Unless they brought an army, we've got ourselves a mark coming right to our doorstep!" "Okay, let me get my club, you invite him in. Won't know what hit him." The door cautiously creaks open, a tired-looking man peering out. "You lost, friend...?" His eyes widen as he glimpses the group. |
Eduardo beamed at the man answering the door, pretending to be incredibly excited.
"Ah hah! The home of the highway philosophers! I said you might be out this hway! I hwish to barter in philosophy once again. I can pay." Eduardo revealed one of his signature sacks of money, dangling it in front of the man and very subtly daring him to step towards him just a little closer. |
"I, uh..." The brigand glances back over his shoulder. "Since when do they volunteer to give us money? We got some kind of racket going I don't know about?!" He becomes visibly agitated at the thought and opens the door wider to confront Eduardo.
"All right, what's the big idea, you overgrown vegetable?!" |
"Vegetable? If you're looking for vegetables, how about a squash?"
Eduardo brought the incredibly large and heavy sack of money down hard, hitting the bandit over the head with it. The weight of the sack knocked the bandit out cold, as well as tearing several ligaments in his neck and probably doing some other gross damage but this isn't Eschaton, so we're not going to stretch it out in to four paragraphs of gory detail. He strolled through the doorway, stepping over the body as he met the gaze of the other bandit. He scanned the room calmly, letting his loaner sword and moneybag hang at his side as he spoke. "Sir, your unwitting investor has come to collect!" |
Tsaerri actually lets the other bandit escape in the midst of her dumbfoundment. He actually... beat him to death... with a sack of money. Does that mean I can have my sword back?
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Syrgei sees easily over Tsaerri's shoulder to the downed bandit.
"Huh. He did it." Syrgei takes note of the other bandit's escape around down a flight of stairs. "She'll bring reinforcements soon. Up for a chase?" |
Eduardo swung his sack of coin casually, moving it back and forth as he looked around to the rest of the group.
"I say! This is quite exciting! I think I'm doing it! I have become a real live adventurer!" He giggled with excitement, twirling his moneybag. As an afterthought, he awkwardly offered the sword back to Tsaerri, trying to hold it with the grip towards her. "I er, don't think I hwill be needing this. I thank you for it though." |
Tsae dismisses the sword with a disinterested wave, pushing past Ed into the house. "We need to move fast if we're doing this. Syrgei, think you can scout ahead and get a figure on their numbers? That shouldn't involve breaking any laws, so you can handle it, right?" She glances around nervously, the gravity of the situation becoming apparent with each passing second that the bandits are no doubt mobilizing.
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Not breaking any laws…right, because of course that’s the issue.
Not *quite* rolling his eyes, he pulls one dagger out of its sheath at his hip, gripping it tip downwards. I suppose it is actually considerate, in a way. Suddenly amused at the thought, he states a simple “yeah” before stepping over the bandit and disappearing just before fully rounding the corner, following the bandit’s path. The house is plain, hardly lived in, and there is no one around. There isn’t much to see except for the large, gaping hole in the wall of the basement floor that, from the looks of it, leads into the underground and directly into the near-by mountain range. Not the most discreet. Moving with surprising ease for someone tall and dressed as he is, Syrgei takes as much advantage of his stealth as he can, slipping by two more bandit sentries in the reasonably narrow tunnels, turning back when he sees the tunnels go wide into a larger complex. There is movement, but it looks more like the bandits are digging in rather than coming for them. |
She's pacing now, circling the tiny foyer, scanning the windows for movement outside.
"He's been gone for over a minute. They probably caught him, idiot that he is. I knew I should have gone." She snaps for her pistol and again for her sword. "No point in waiting around, they know we're here. Let's move?" |
"Not very patient, are you?"
Syrgei appears from around the corner, wisps of black tendril dissipating off of him as he steps back into the room. "Bigger than it looks down there. The basement tunnel goes right into the mountain. It's reasonably narrow so easy to bottle neck if they come in a group, and there are several groups. It looks like they are waiting for us to come to them." |
They hear more muffled voices from below then.
"You're the one who led them here, now go figure out how many we're dealing with! Useless git!" "Oh, does it? Excuse me." Tsaerri slides past Syrgei and rounds the stair, gun leading, evidently startling the young woman creeping up. "Wait! Please!" "Yeah, no." She sends the girl tumbling down the stairs, violet smoke pouring from the back of her head. "Let's do this." |
"Tsae, wait! They have-"
*BOOM* |
Eduardo watched with fascination, taking a backseat once again to real action as he watched the pleading bandit dispatched.
"Um, Tsaerri? Should hwe show them mercy if they ask for it? They are, er, human after all." Oh hey, been a while since we've heard from Dan! Dan drew his pistol from its holster, readying himself for a fight. For once he felt calm, he felt collected. He would be a beneficial asset to the team that could be directed and controlled. He would be- Nope. No he wouldn't. Tsaerri's gunshot to the girl's head ricocheted horrible memories through his head. Instantly he was plunged in to the past as horror began to swirl around him. No Dan. Not right now. For once, not right now. His head swam as the memories were quelled, shaking his head to bring himself back to the present. Raising his pistol, he growled before speaking in a low voice. "Bandits. Come on, time to murder a bunch of generic faceless enemies with no backstory to make us feel regret about our actions." |
"SERIOUSLY?"
Tsaerri comes running back up the stairs, her hair blown out of its pigtails, screaming. "WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?" her arms flailing in exasperation. Then she explodes into purple butterflies. Meanwhile, the actual Tsaerri is busy below, having blinked across the distance to the bridge where the bandits have their canon mounted. As the gunner is turning around, she shatters the clone she sent above, a pulse of magical energy knocking him senseless and allowing her to shove him over the side into the water far below. It may have possibly caused Syrgei some mild discomfort as well. And now I'm surrounded. But I took out the cannon guys! Any time you want to start pulling your weight, that'd be awesome! |
“Oh, Skritt!” Syrgei vaults the edge of the stairs and drops down past the first corpse, then rolls by two more who have their backs to him, occupied with the Mesmer on their cannon. The sudden very close appearance of the thief takes them by surprise long enough for said thief to unload several several shots into the group of bandits across the bridge, sending one tumbling after his other unfortunate fellow, and another collapsing on the catwalk.
Syrgei grimaces as the profusely bleeding and likely dead bandit falls over the thin railing and down below. His stupefied onlookers are now getting their act together and have drawn their weapons. Holstering his pistols, he snatches his daggers from his hip and twists to stab the first bandit back-handed before disappearing into a wispy cloud of black smoke. |
...did you really have to shoot them THAT many times? Maybe the shatter gave him brain damage...
Tsaerri's attention is diverted by the planking to her left exploding at the impact of a shot from above. She glances quickly up to see another of the bandits, this one wearing heavier armor, reloading his pistol frantically. Another behind him is taking aim. I wonder how I ever decided I wanted to do this with my life... Oh well, it's kind of fun. Just as the second shot is about to come, she throws down her temporal curtain, the wall of indigo light flaring up in front of her just in time to reflect the bullet. It bounces rather harmlessly off the gunner's armor, but it'll do. Taking cover behind the curtain, she calls out Vis and takes careful aim with the greatsword, levitating it between her palms. The purple laser zaps out... and misses his head by five inches to the right, blowing through the railing behind him. Okay, so I'm not the best at this! Another couple of shots bounce off and the bandits, realizing their disadvantage, draws knives and start to advance. Just... sit still... for a second... got it! She lasers the one behind right through the eye and drops him. Snaps for both her swords and jumps out to attack the nearer one. He lunges and swipes, but she isn't there, darting left and right and leaving after-images with each move. She cuts him once at the wrist of his knife-hand and again underneath his jaw. Feh. Missed the artery. She moves her temporal curtain onto the nearby railing and detonates it, causing the energy to fold in on itself, pulling the bleeding bandit over the side. Tsae can't help grinning at her handiwork, but once again her attention is caught, this time by more bandits arriving from deeper in the cave, behind Syrgei's position. And one more farther ahead... "Oh, Lys you're too kind..." she mutters, recognizing the familiar face. |
Eduardo proceeded awkwardly through the melee, unknowingly avoiding several attacks and badly aimed projectiles. He put his hand up in a polite halting gesture at bandits as they went running by.
"Um, excuse me- Er, yes could you just...Oh, hello, if you mind standing stil- Oh for the love of..." He gave up in exasperation, clearly being avoided by the bandits for much more threatening and credible targets. Sighing, he produced his ridiculously large bag of money once again, dangling it like a treat before getting ready to wield it like the world's most expensive morning star. "If it helps, I have money you know!" Dan however is having much better luck gaining the attention of bandits! "Come and get it!" Dan was for once in his life in his element. He ran about the enclosed battlefield, deploying his turret and rolling for cover as he fired a net projectile at a hapless bandit who was so generic he said the same taunt line as the one right next to him. Dan let out some sort of...cackle? Growl? Charr have different vocal cords, a grackle. Let's go with grackle. He let one out. Anyway, he took cover behind a wooden fence to reload, breathing in deeply and enjoying every breath. Really Dan? None of this bothers you? I watched you black out in fear over a jalapeño once. Not to mention the business with the ooze from earlier. Wouldn't actual gunshots mess with you? Dan shook his head, firing blindly from cover with one hand as he prepared a sticky glue shot with the other. "Nah. One time experiences are the ones that get you. But experience life threatening experiences too much and you get burned out on them. Easy as pie." Dan, you do know that pie isn't an appropriate way to convey the difficulty of a task, right? You know it's an item of food? "It's a phrase! The humans say it! Ask a human!" Dan rose upward as a bandit came running by, grabbing him with a massive claw and pinning him to the ground. Inches from his face, Dan roared at him. "ISN'T 'EASY AS PIE' A FIGURE OF SPEECH?!" The bandit screamed, this one less generic than the others by a slightly less amount due to having some time in the story, but not enough for an actual speaking role. He'll break out in to the big leagues one day. In the meantime, all he could do was scream helplessly as his one time experience of nearly dying was giving him a panic attack. Dan reared back, shooting him point blank to ease him by confirming his fears. "Fine! Easy as eating a pie or something then!" |
"All right! Who thinks they can just walk in here and start killing my -- oh. Ohoho, hello there, little one. Long time, no see."
Okay... okay... not messing this up. Tsaerri glares up the ramp at Two-Blade Pete, the leader of her former gang. Don't just rush him, he's way too strong, let's see, what's the best-- oh, Goddess, he's charging. Tsae tries to get a shot off, but he's closing too fast and she misses. She distorts just as he crashes into her, going insubstantial for less than a second, but enough for him to nearly throw himself over the side of the decking. "Well, that's a neat trick you've got there. I'll get my hands on you yet." Yeah, that's never happening... Though, being honest with herself, these narrow quarters don't favor her at all. It's hard to dodge when the wrong move will send her plummeting. A brief glance reveals her allies still pinned down by the reinforcements. |
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