Pretend to be a butler and serve me food with hidden arsenic.

O-o... again cronislee!!! jeez...
tie me up with your scarf, sash AND belts and leave me in a corner to die alone...

She gags me with her scarf and forces me over an embankment.

takes his sash, ties it around my neck, ties the other half on the highest branch of the tree, and leaves me there.

He would ship me to the Arctic circle where ravenous polar bears await to devour me.

She takes me for a midnight stroll to discuss work, only when I reach the railing of the stairway she injects me with a seditive and nudges me over.

Lol an old fashion knight that he is, He probably wouldn't save me from the dragon in time.

I try to save her from the horrid fiend; but with the villan destracted she pushes me into his sword and runs like hell.

Take me to the library only to have the stacks accidentally fall on me.

Broken beer battle to the belly x.x

By denying me boobies!! You monster!!

O.O?!?!?

By doing the same to me; ultimately leading to madness and death TT_TT

Send one of his spirit minions to possess and make me do silly things, like run into oncoming traffic, dance barefoot in a bonfire and bungee jump without attaching the end cord.
... you're horrible! DX

*adjusts his tie* Its simply buisness....

She strangles me with my own tie. x_x

Damn straight I woul- I mean... me? Never!

Repeated stabbing to the eyes with a spork until the sockets and start pouring acid in.
Acid seems to be the popular weapon these days.
... who and why would you have acid in the kitchen??? >_<

Because- I think ahead ;).

she entices me and lures me to a hidden location where, using an unknown blunt object, beat me to death.