if there's no blood then there's basically no mess

i am not stabbing meatbags

yet

hrnghghghgh my left eye feels like it's bruised. better not be conjunctivitis again. could be eyestrain / sleeping too much, but fuck if i know.

I don't want to STAB. :] I want to pick up a chainsaw and lug it around. >x} Gonna do some hardcore VROOMING.

nyoooooooom.

>:}
VNRR-VNRRRBRB-VRRRRRRRRRRRNNN!!
https://media.giphy.com/media/M1duV2CqYmVAk/giphy.gif

oh dear god there's a chainsaw

>X} Hell yeea! Gonna shred us some PUMKIN for PIEE! >:D

why do you need a chainsaw to eat pumpkin

>:] To make a huge fall-scented mess in the kitchen! Why else? /x}

sounds like chaos.

It does. :]

FUCK

>:{ YES! I concur with that mood! *shakes fist in air*

I was feeling pretty bad today.
I'm okay and "safe" for now, I guess...

I was really down. But I'm so happy that there are still really nice people out there. :)

I'm happy to be here.

And I hope that, with enough support from friends, I'll be able to help myself and get out of the bad situation I'm in

me soloing group work, and prof coming up to me like "how's it going? everything alright"

Omg, that is entirely accurate! <x'}

Also,
>.>;...I haven't played Minecraft in a while...
<-<; mph...but homework...

College and Uni seem so hard!

I took my last three years of high school online, so thankfully NO "GROUP" WORK!! :D

I remember being in middle school once and I was unfortunately partnered with a girl who barely came to school...
I did all the research and all the work on our debate. (Which was unfortunately a topic I didn't even believe in, 'pros of animal testing'.) And she didn't even SHOW UP for the day of our debate. >:T The teacher postponed our debate for another day and when she DID show up, she did absolutely NO work at all. She literally sat down and was like, "Hey, so, you did the research, right?"

And I ended up getting so pissed off because our debate was basically just me, so I told the teacher and he waived my grade, since the grade was based on "group effort", like, our grade was "Shared" and we got a higher grade if we won the debate.

>:T

I loved online school, but it was hard for me to manage my time at first...
I can't imagine how rough school is today! College and uni too?! Nah! Not for me lol

You're not necessarily supposed to believe in the things you're trying to argue for assignments. The point of assignments like that is to teach you how to be a dispassionate scholar that can objectively work with information despite one's own biases. There's ALWAYS a "pro" to the opposing side. If there wasn't, there wouldn't BE an opposing side. The debate comes from trying to weigh the advantages and disadvantages, and you can't do that if you don't try to look at the other side.

Truth be told, college is in some ways easier than high school. You're taking fewer classes at a time and spending less time in a classroom. This gives you more time to focus on the things you need to work on. The biggest change from high school is that you have to be more responsible for your own work because you're not having a teacher reminding you what to do at every step of the way. And if you're already the kind of person that can succeed at online classes, college may not be that big of a problem.

:} *points at Coda* Truth.
<x} Uni is only hard depending on the class and teach.
Unlike high school, you can choose all your classes (provided they fit with your degree major and/minor) and ya get to meet or not meet people. <x} In high school, you have to know people. There's no choice. o-o Because you see them every day. :] I don't see my classmates every day, and I only talk to them briefly about class things. <u<; Not a whole lot of people I can click with on campus..

Constantly weirded out by the fact that I have two really distinct “voices” when I type.

If I can actually fall asleep, why do I have to wake up a couple of minutes later? It especially makes it even harder to get back to sleep.

I'm gonna totally ditch my one middle class tomorrow to prevent myself from falling asleep in it. >~>; And to get work done..and also have enough time to eat..

had a gender identity crisis again over the fact that if i came out, mum / bro / dad probably won't accept me as masculine, and i'm more or less ambivalent to being referred to as a girl.

it's a bit stupid at this point but god, i wish i could just be an eldritch monster. no gender presentation needed there. just tentacles, eyeballs and probably a mouth full of teeth. sharp, pointy teeth.

<x} I'd totally accept you as an eldritch monster! Tentacles and all.
https://media.giphy.com/media/l378kN...lDLa/giphy.gif

Also I'm gonna skip class out on my middle class. >w>; Partly because I want to, but mostly because,
<-<; I need more time to find some medicine for my mum who got sick yesterday, and to eat lunch at a more reasonable pace..
Likely gonna skip class tomorrow too, to help with my gramma at home. /:[ I'm the only one available to help her up and make her meals without coughing up mucus all over her and possibly getting the whole house infected..
<u< it's an easy class anyway, no worries. I guess my "break" starts sooner than expected.

That's not weird at all. Most people have at least two distinct voices that get engaged based on context and social cues. For example, your paper-writing voice is going to be distinct from your chatroom voice, and your chatroom voice may well be different from your forum-posting voice. The way you talk to your parents/teachers/employer is different from the way you talk to your peers, which is different from the way you talk to children, which may or may not be different from the way you talk to animals.

It's actually considered a sign of social dysfunction if you DON'T have multiple, context-sensitive voices.

Definitely get how that goes.

dude i totally get that but i am not going to lie, the dysphoria will be double crummy when you get it from people trying to be kind as opposed to people being pricks/apathetic.


i can fight the dude who thinks he's so clever by clocking me for being a man in a dress i can't do the same when a nurse goes out of her way to "not notice" that the drape of my skirt isn't quite right and calls me miss multiple times

gender identity shenanigans are weird bc i'm not exactly dysphoric about my body, but there's definitely a disconnect. like, yeah, sure, i'd rather not have boobs, but at the same time, i don't really get sad about them?

EDIT: i've completely burnt out on learning spanish. at least i know the fundamentals, i guess?

yeah, like everything else there is a scale. it's still dysphoria but it is the difference between a very miserable day in the summer and catching on fire x''D both are hot but that doesn't mean they are the same

My pupils were dilated today so now I see everything fuzzy and can't stay on the computer. but I'll be back later when my eyes are just the regular kind of nearsighted

good luck! please stay safe and dont let them dry out(of course you are already gone but still)

strangled screams into the void
 

actual screams into the void...(Authentic. High Def.)
 

blast from the past

>incoming Danganronpa rambling

WTF WHY IS NEKOMARU A ROBOT NOW

Me in the morning: ">:O Screw this nonsense! I'm not gonna learn anything I wouldn't get from the expensive textbooks I rented! I'm gonna skip class and I'm gonna do what I want! >:D I'm gonna eat and shop and horse around on the computer! And no one can stop me!!"

My dumb ass Ravenclaw brain an hour later: "<~<; I can't skip class. I'm already late, but I can't skip just because I don't have the homework and need to eat..I'll just be late to it. Don't wanna miss the whole lecture and taking down notes, and any homework assigned..what'll my peers think of me if I showed to one class and not the other? I'll go, I'll-I'll go to class. I should go. I'm already here.."

Also Me the next day with Class at 1: "<-<; I gotta ditch today. I can't have a sick mom infecting the whole house and making her own frail little mom sick. Who's going to make breakfast, lunch and dinner? And help her to bed? And keep her away from her room? And give her medicine? And make sure I don't get sick while doing it? *points to self* B["

!!!!!

Why can't I remember Punjabi?! ;-;
It was MY LIFE for like... 6 months >:T

At least I wish I could remember how to spell things ;o;

I have this beautiful old Bollywood song that I like..
But where the hell did it come from?!

!!!!!!

what is punjabi?

It's a spoken language of Punjabis,
Punjabis are an ethnic group mostly from Pakistan,
But I believe some people in India speak Punjabi too.

I have family that are Tamil so I used to listen to a lot of Bollywood music. But around 2007-2008 I really got into Punjabi music for some reason?

I felt that Punjabi music sounded the nicest, at least the songs from the 70s and earlier did, anyway :D

oh that’s been me for the past three days.

except w less internalizing

screm