Granted: It tastes great, but is actually made of urine.

I wish that I had 1mill Aurum

Granted: You have 1 mill Aurum, and are 2 mill Aurum in debt.

I wish I had the best fitting hat.

Granted, but now your undies will forever be two sizes too small.

I wish I had a soda.

Granted but it really piss in can.

I wish I had more time to work on cosplays.

Granted, but now you are jobless
I wish I had limitless intelligence

granted but its nothing useful at all.

I wish I had more money to fix some problems.

Granted; you are now arrested for bank robbery.

I wish that my neighbor didn't have so many horses.

granted, your neighbor now has a lot of elephants.

I wish I was a boy.

Granted, however you are a horribly disfigured boy and must repeat all of elementary school again.

I wish I could sing better in the shower.

Granted, however your singing causes the pipes in the shower to burst.

I wish for a job.

Granted; you'll work 16 hour days 6 days a week with no breaks.

I wish for a working pen.

Granted; You'll get a pink pen that only works on recycled paper

I wish for some Skyrim DLC

Granted; but now you aren't sure if your family is really your family.

I wish I wish I had some fish.

Granted, but the fish you got are piranha's

I wish for a nice quite evening.

Granted: But for every sentence you speak, you make a verbal typo.

I wish my Muse would come back...

Granted, but he is now a Valley Girl who demands you draw KAWAIIDESU girls. : D

I wish I had some rice.

Granted: But then for each grain of rice in your bowl, there are ten cockroaches in your yard.

I wish my car would drive itself...

Granted, but it drives off with that cute minivan down the street into the sunset, leaving you high and dry.

I wish I had more wishes.

Granted, you get 2 wish coupons but they expired =/

I wish the new event will start tomorrow!

Granted: But the event lags the site so badly, that people ragequit overnight!

I wish I could become a fox at will.

Granted! But it's fox hunting season. >D

I wish I was a kitty cat, who could dancedancedance and could dancedancedance.

Granted: But you have an Evil Miku mocking you every step you take.

I wish my parents and brother would freaking LISTEN to me.

(( NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO )))

Congratulations, wish granted! But now they're listening. Always listening. While you sleep. While you eat. Even your thoughts are privvy to their listening ears. And it will never. EVER. Stop.

I wish my family wouldn't dismiss my ideas so readily.

Granted: Congrats! Wish granted! But now everyone in your family comes to you for advice. Even on what to wear, when to shower, what to buy to eat, who to be angry at, who to go out with, what to feed the cat, how to use the sink.... you get the gist.

I wish there was a way to get to other planets, and still be able to return to earth.

Granted, but you are arrested for illegal immigration and served up for dinner, as is customary. Bon apetit!

I wish I'd stop misreading things!

Granted: But now you start mishearing and misSPEAKING things. Have fun trying to tell your mother you meant to say 'Wait just a sec.'

I wish I could tell everyone my secrets.

Granted, but your father asked you a question you don't have the answer right away.

I wish for a new book

Granted: It's been dropped in a puddle and the pages are ruined.

I wish to see the stars.

Granted; You'll see them as the space shuttle veers off course and heads straight into one.

I wish for a pillow

Granted, but it's sentient and tries to grab onto you!

I wish I knew what women wanted.

Granted: But in return, you also become one.

I wish I had some nachos right now.

Granted; but they cut up your mouth

I wish for a nonclingy pillow (-_-Cronis!)

Granted; but it's incredibly hard.
I wish the Grimlin at work would go away.

Granted; Now a little gnome is there to pester you.

I wish I had a soft nonclingy pillow

I LIKE IT HARD!

Granted; but you sink into it due to the softness.
I wish my back didn't ache.

Granted; however now your toe aches.

I wish for a tissue.

Granted, but they are Cobra Eggs, and they are hatching!

I wish I was as cool as Jayne Cobbe.