granted but it'll be the only good night you'll get from now on

i wish i got prezents on my b-day =O
(i think most of my wishes in this will be b-day related until the day actually gets here X3)

Granted, but the only thing anyone got you were used tissues!
I wish I had a girlfriend!

granted but you find out she's not right for you and so you break up quickly

i wish i didn't have to cook dinner

Granted! But now your hungry!
I wish I had someone to cuddle with!

Granted but it's a stuffed animal and it bursts into flames =O

i wish for pizza!

Granted! But it's pizza made of glass and rat poison!
I wish I was in love!

granted but it's only a sibling kind of love

i wish i owned more anime

Granted! But it's all badly write Child Porn, and you get arrested for having it!
I wish for I was more beautiful!

granted but now your not yourself

i wish my dad didn't end up in the hospital so often

Granted! But now your dad ends up in another womans arms!
Wish My Ex-GF would be nicer to me.

granted but it's not much nicer to make a difference

i wish i had a puppy dog =D

Granted but it's demonically possessed and steals your face during the night.
I wish I had super powers!

Q.Q

granted but they're useless superpowers

i wish i could fly

Granted! But you can only fly down into the grand canyon
I wish I could be in a movie.

granted but you have no lines and you show up for 0.002 seconds

i wish i had chocolate

Granted! But it's laced with Cyanide!
I wish I could enter into the internet.

Granted, but your connection speed is terrible.

I wish for awesome clothes!

Granted! But their all made of human hair
I wish For the end of world hunger!

Granted but it only last about 5 seconds

i wish i had soda

Granted, but it's club soda.

I wish for a new iPod!

Granted! But someone has corrupted all the data
I wish for an uncorrupted wish.

Granted...

-2 second later-

but thats as long as it's uncorrupted and you might as well of wished for nothing

i wish for a new hair style that i like

Granted, but it's in an awful tie-dye color.

I wish for a kitten!

Granted! Buts it has a habit of randomly exploding painfully
I wish for a bad relationship.

Q.Q poor kitty

granted but your stuck with it forever and it just keeps getting worse

i wish i had a new sweater

Granted. But it's made out of used eyelashes.
I wish I never wished the wish before this one

granted but that was in an alternate universe

i wish i was graduating this year

Granted, but now you must live with a pedo for one year before going on.
I wish I could travel between universes.

Granted, but you're stuck between them and can't enter them.

I wish for a new computer keyboard!

Granted! But it's missing all the keys!
I wish I could turn girls into lesbians!

XD some claim they already have that power

granted but it only works on those who already are or those who are bi

i wish i could teleport

Granted, but only once every month.

I wish for 14 bookshelves of manga.

Granted! But there all covered in blood!
I wish for a television!

Granted, but its a old version from the 1950's thats only in black and white.
I wish for aurum to fall from the sky.

Granted, but it only happens when you're not around.

I wish for a jelly pastry.

Granted, but it's inedible.

I wish I didn't eat so much at dinner.

Granted, you get NOTHING.

I wish for all the event items o3o

Granted, but they were all badly coded and made you unable to use your inventory ever.
I wish I had all the achievements done <3

Granted but you keep getting caught cheating

I wish I was happy with myself

Granted but you become so confident you lose touch of reality a little bit in just want you are capable of and it may or may not get you killed. (ex. I can flyyyyy! -splat-)

EDIT: I wish I had good FREE health insurance 8D