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"Of course not." Gamby clicked his tongue and shifted his weight to one side. Gods help me. "So, he doesn't like killing people? Figures, I guess. I can't say I agree with it, but it's not like you made him do it, or they were innocent bystanders... Though, I also can't say you look like the type to be bothered by someone else's 'crisis of conscience'." Serious mouthful, that. "I'm not prying, but if you want to take off for a while, I'm not gonna turn you in."
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Tsae gives that a small laugh. "Oh, trust me, I'm thinking about it. I kind of need the money, though, and honestly, after that little scuffle, I'm not convinced Ed's safe heading out into centaur territory. I mean, I'm sure the Charr is good for one or two, but he seems a bit... distractable? And Syrgei is totally useless, as we've seen. I've never actually fought a centaur, but I assume they're tough to put down."
She pauses for a second, stepping over in front of Gambooge, crossing her arms and looking up at him. "You're from around here, why don't you tell me how bad of an idea this is, knowing that we have a pacifist and... I think he might have rabies? as our backup." |
It was interesting that someone that spent so much time in their room knew that about him, even if it wasn't something he hid exactly. But then, she seemed to see through everyone. He straightened up and crossed his arms as well, the gesture not nearly as serious considering his slight smile. "It's not the worst idea, so long as we don't go too far down by the swamps. As far as I know, they don't usually like picking a fight when they're on their own. They're as smart as anyone else, they like having their own backup. Might consider more of a warmup first, if you're worried."
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"Oh, did you have something in mind? Might want to run it by Blond Justice over there, he's liable to report me to the Seraph if your target practice involves anything on two legs."
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Blond Justice. Gambooge grinned and rocked back onto his heels. "Right, well... We could dip a bit South to the Pumping Station, see if there are any oozes around we can help out with. Last I checked, they don't have any legs, and that way, we won't have to let His Highness know we're not immediately doing as he says. No consciences, no let downs, everyone wins."
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"Cleaning... oozes... out of the pumping station. Remind me to never, ever ask you for a plan again. Should have figured, name like 'Gambooge'.... Thank Goddess for phantasms, I guess. No way I'm getting up close and personal with a bunch of semi-sentient mutant jello. Where does 'ooooze' even come from? Heh, Gambooze. Wait, no, that just sounds like he's a drink... which really doesn't sound unappealing right now. Uh, alcohol, that is. Intoxication. Blacking out and forgetting this was even a day. Definitely not Gambooge. Eew. Ugh. Eew.
I really hope this station is for cleaning water, and not the sewer... "Sure! All right! It's good to have direction! Let's get going!" Tsae walks off clapping her hands over-dramatically at each exclamation. |
Eduardo caught up to Tsaerri and Gambooge, looking rather ruffled at having to expend stamina. Taking a moment to slow his breathing, he raised his hands upwards and twirled slowly, making sure to catch all nearby with his gaze and voice.
"Now, I do not hwish to sound like a prickly bush here, but I do hwish to see more than just...beef in its more primitive state. So I hwish to see something else now. Cows bore me so. But before we do-" He spun dramatically, extending a hand and pointing a slender finger at Syrgei, although the effect was lost as he tilted his hand downwards in a rather flamboyant manner. "You, economically challenged one! I understand that some things are bad. But I have it on good authority that some very bad things come on two legs, and the amount of motor appendages an organism has is not entirely indicative of its moral compass. If those rrrhuffians had made off with the cows for The Pale Tree knows why reasons, hwhat would the people of Divinity's Reach consume? They would ask questions, such as "Hwhere is the beef?" In the act of removing these vandals from the social pool, you have in fact improved the economy and safety of the city, decreased the unemployment pool, and saved several gold in the taxpayers' coffers by not having to bother that man Logan Thackery with this business. Now, let us be off! I hwish to experience...adventure!" He clapped his hands, signifying that the matter had been dealt with to everyone's satisfaction, assuming that everyone else had the same qualms as Eduardo. But Eduardo could never understand the qualms that Dan faced! Dan limped along, bringing up the rear of the group. He had quietly ditched the bag of potatoes when no one was looking. Now he performed the awkward Charr walk of utilizing all four legs, most likely registering himself as twice as bad as a person could be on the Tsaerri Scale. Of course you are Dan! Don't you know the phrase? Two legs good, four legs bad? Dan thought to himself that, no, that was not the correct quote and the source material didn't exist in this universe anyway, so the little voice in his head could can it with the guilt trip. The guilt trip was a three day weekend retreat Dan had already taken, which turned out to be two week struggle to survive after experiencing the rock slide of Regret and the constantly biting mosquito swarm of Insecurity. Fine, the little voice said, But you know what I mean. They saw what you did Dan. They all did. Even the potatoes Dan. Do you know why they saw you Dan? Dan knew exactly what was coming next. He stifled a groan as he tried to shut out the little voice making the world's worst joke. Because potatoes have eyes, Dan. Potatoes have eyes! |
As they move southward, approaching the pumping station above the reservoir that provides clean water for the farmers, they are met by a young man who introduces himself as Jameson, the apprentice engineer in charge of maintenance on the pipes.
"Oh, thank the Gods!" he says, hustling down the hill to meet them. "You're from the guilds, right? We sure could use some help! We've got oozes crawling all over the water supply! Master Dalin is in a right fury, he is! You'll help us out, won't you?" |
Eduardo approached the young man, sizing him up and down before looking over the man's shoulder to where the oozes were. He wondered what exactly it was oozes did. They, well, oozed as far as he knew. However the situation presented a perfect opportunity for him, something he had always wished he could do. Throwing his arm in front of him and pointing towards the oozes, he spoke in a commanding tone to the party.
"Have no fear, citizen. Minions, attack!" |
As the introductions are being established, Tsaerri stomps over in front of Gambooge and kicks him in the shin for his terrible idea before heading off to where the oozes are crawling out of the pipe.
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Gambooge was beaming at the rest of the party with the obvious success of his idea, Bag stomping up behind him while going off about all the enemies in the area. As if they couldn't see all the oozes for themselves. As he was enjoying his moment, however, Tsaerri stormed up to him. "Hey!" Gamby shouted as he pulled his leg up, wobbling while he rubbed his shin. "You could've said no!"
"HA—HA—HA." "Stuff it!" |
Syrgei stood and looked at the water pipes where the oozes wobbled about.
How do you kill an ooze? Not being the most aggressive of creatures, they milled about, leaving behind noxious trails behind them while he considered his repertoire. Experimentally, he flicked a thin blade at one of them. The blade passed through his target, but lodged itself in the second, and both appeared unharmed, thought made a small change in direction and wobbled at a more determined pace towards him. He pulled his shortbow from his back. "So, does anyone have any ideas for how to fight an ooze? This could get really messy." |
Oozes. Oh human gods, Dan hated oozes. He loathed them.
What did oozes do to you, Dan? Tell us. Dan didn't want to remember. Dan didn't want to remember how happy he had been when he had found a Fernhound pup. He didn't want to remember how he had taken him in, tried to raise him. He didn't want to remember that fateful night that he heard the gurgling, the schloomp of something being absorbed in to a viscous liquid. He didn't want to remember running to see what had made the noise and seeing his little Fernhound pup floating awkwardly inside the ooze, attempting to bark and not being able to. He had watched as the little form went still. He remembered trying to tear the ooze away and not being able to find purchase or grip, until he finally ate the ooze off of the little dog. It was disgusting. It hurt and was raw and burned as it went down, but it was all for his little dog. All for his little Baskins. His tiny body was limp. Dan had tried to do CPR, but his horns made it nearly impossible to get to the little dog's body. He had awkwardly tried to squeeze the dog through their curves, barely fitting him in between as precious seconds oozed away. He breathed through little Baskins' mouth, trying to force the ooze out of his poor little lungs. But it was too late. He hadn't been fast enough. He had been an awful, neglectful owner, and now little Baskins was dead. What was worse was now the lifeless tiny body was stuck, tangled awkwardly between the Charr's horns. Dan had cried, tears matting the fur of the little dog. It was a night he would never forget, trying to remove the body from his horns and failing, staring at his neglect made manifest for hours as he attempted to fight against the settling rigor mortis. It was a night that would burn through his mind for the rest of his life. But there was more, wasn't there Dan? Dan also remembered the bits of ooze he had eaten, the incredibly painful bowel trouble he had experienced for a week afterwards. Another thing he would never forget. "Human gods-damned oozes! They just take, and take, and don't even realize they're doing it! No more!" With a scream he unslung his turret, slotting in the Flame modules before slamming it down in front of the oozes. It was time for them to experience the painful burning they had inflicted upon him oh so long ago. You are horrible, Dan. |
If Dan was moving, then hopefully he wasn't really the only one that had ever fought the oozes before. Then again, it was hard to tell with that charr. Gamby drew his elements around him once more, a blaze of fire flaring in his hands before circling around them and down to his wrists. He looked to the thief. "Burn them, freeze them, or smash them, and if any part keeps moving, do it again. There's not much else to it. Just don't let them bite you."
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"They bite? With what?"
Syrgei takes a few steps back, keeping an extra bit of distance between himself and the advancing oozes -at least it looks like they are advancing, and nocks one flint tipped arrow that he lets fly into the ground at the center of the "pack." The arrow detonates into a Dolyak-sized explosion that leaves behind some smokey, singed ground and a scattering of ooze giblets, none of which appear to be moving. |
Okay. You're a trained mesmer. You're creative, even. You can figure this out.
...okay, right. That's pretty obvious. Standing well enough back to avoid having to be near the disgusting things, Tsae takes a moment to devise a brand new phantasm just for this purpose -- the Illusionary Sapper! Wielding its trusty shovel, the wispy replica of her scoops up the nearest ooze and gets it away from the water supply, onto the hard ground, where it proceeds to beat it repeatedly with the flat end of the shovel until it stops moving. She spawns two more, just for good measure, and watches them work. And then the apocalypse happens. Barely reacting in time, Tsaerri throws herself flat and shatters the clones to grant herself distortion as a jet of liquid fire sprays in arc over where she was standing. Blinking away to what is hopefully safety, she watches Dan's turret eradicate the ooze menace, wondering if Syrgei's coat will catch on fire. He doesn't seem too worked up about it, and now she feels a little embarrassed for losing her nerve there. Oh well. To no one in particular, or maybe Eduardo, since he has the sense enough to stay out of the danger zone, she mumbles, "Do we even... have a permit for weapons like that?" |
The fwoosh from the turret was hard to miss, and standing well back from the pipes so he could use his arrows kept Syrgei mostly out of the way. Still, he gave the thing as wide a berth as was practical as the oozes began to converge, apparently having enough of a brain to realize the turret was deadly and wobbled towards it to take it down. The resulting effect was puddles of smoldering and noxious goo sloughing off the side of the turret and melting into the grass.
He steps over by Eduardo and Tsaerri. "Messy, but effective." |
"Attack—mode—activated."
A few quick words sent Bag stomping off well away from the flame turret. It wouldn't do much to the thing's hull, Gambooge was sure. Probably. But it was better not to take any chances. When he looked to the rest of the group and found most of them standing together, well away from any oozes, he rolled his eyes. "Babies." He wasn't the least bit concerned walking by the engaged mass of slime and flames, a careful eye and a single lifted hand bending any fire that came his way away. He still let out a sigh once he was past its range, idly rolling his wrist as he looked over the next section of the hill. Some were heading towards the turret, but many were still too distant to have noticed, and yet more were squeezing their way out of the reservoir and plopping, or just dripping, onto the ground. Gambooge drew his daggers and went to work, his element surrounding the blades and bursting out with each swing, leaving scorched lines across the ground as each monster was slain. At least mine won't set the whole countryside on fire. |
Oh, look at me, I'm Gambooge, I can just "No! Bad fire! Go lay down!" ...and it does! Look at how special I am! isn't this job just great?!
Dusting grass and dirt off her outfit, Tsae glaces up at Ed. "So, this sure is something, isn't it, boss?" I'm not sure this is what the engineers quite had in mind when they asked for our help... but, whatever, I'm sitting this one out. |
Eduardo smirked, watching the jets of flame burn putrid ooze smells his way. He breathed it in, finding the smell curiously delightful.
"You know, I have always enjoyed the smell of napalm around this time of day. But I whonder. What exactly is it that oozes do? How are they endangering the water? They barely seem to react to being attacked, much less being aggressive to people. It almost seems...boring to eradicate them." Hey, what is Dan up to anyway? Dan laid heavy on the turret trigger, burning out ooze after ooze. What he failed to take in to account was the amount of heat and flame around the tank of water. Contaminated with the oozes' goop and heating dramatically from the flames, the pressure was building tremendously. Finally the system could not take it any more, and the safety valve of the water system threw itself wide open. A jet of goopy slime water erupted from the valve, raining ooze juice and water...all over Tsaerri. |
"Well, it makes it undrinkable, and it leeches the nutrients out the soil that the crops need, so-- gbluh!!"
Caught totally unawares, Tsaerri is hit full-force by the stream of noxious water, the pressure of it throwing her back several feet, where she lands, thoroughly drenched. Ow. Owwwww. Oh my Godess that hurt, what the hells even, oh GODS I'm soaked! My phoenix skirt! The others hear a very high-pitched, hyperventilated whine escape her as the reality of her predicament sets in. |
Eduardo cocked an eyebrow, seemingly untouched whatsoever (the water was probably scared of his money) as he turned his head to follow Tsaerri.
"Tell me. Is that...usually how Mesmers teleport out of a situation?" |
"It. Was. On. COOLDOWN!!!!!!!"
Kneeling in the disgusting grass, Tsaerri lets out a helpless sob, tearing her saturated blindfold away from her clenched-shut eyes and trying not to vomit. |
"Whoa!"
Catching a sudden view of the spray as the Mesmer disappears from his field of vision, Syrgei kicks himself into a backwards roll, landing back on his feet a few meters away, out of it's path, not that he had had much to worry about except perhaps the splash back from Tsaerri, who didn't put up enough of a block to really cause much. As the jet pressure dies down, Syrgei walks through the drenched and stinking ground to stand next to Tsaerri. "Do you need help?" |
Swallowing another sob -- oh, no. Horrible idea. -- Wretch. -- Whyyyyyyyyyy -- Tsae hisses at Syrgei through clenched teeth, "Why yes... it would be nice... if someone could GET ME A GODSDAMNED TOWEL BEFORE MY EYES MELT OUT OF MY SKULL!"
Oh, Lyssa, there it goes. She gags again at the appalling smell and throws up in the grass. Ughhhhhh. |
"I'll see what I can find," Syrgei says, without any apparent humour, as he walks off to find one of the local workers who can hopefully locate some clothes and clean water.
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It wasn't taking all that long to exterminate most of the oozes in the immediate area around the reservoir. When he'd gone around far enough to see the golem stomping away at piles of green, Gambooge turned back to return to the group. Not only did he find the charr's turret still going, but Tsae was on the ground, covered in green goop and screaming at everyone. Stowing his weapons, Gamby hurried to the group, passing by the flames with as little trouble as he'd had before. It wasn't a pretty sight, the woman's clothes ruined, slime and vomit congealing together on the ground, and Syrgei just walking away from it all. "Uh, what happened here?"
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"O-okay," she squeaks, afraid to even breathe. I'll just... stay here... going blind... that's fine... don't rip off part of your shirt so I can wipe my eyes or anything . Wouldn't want to inconvenience you.
She doesn't notice Gambooge approaching until he voices his question. Having had quite enough, Tsae snaps for her gun and points it... somewhere in his direction. "Bad question. Try again?" |
Syrgei returns with reasonable speed, carrying a bucket with a bundle of cloth under one arm.
"It's not much, I'm afraid, but it's what they had." Kneeling on one knee on the grass, he pulls out a small cloth and soaks it in the water before putting it into one of Tsaerri's hands. With a couple more clean cloths, the remainder of the bundle being some simple clothing which he left laying across his knee, as the grass was far from clean in any direction. |
"Whoa!" He held up his hands at the sight of the gun before realizing that her eyes weren't even open. He stepped to the side for good measure as he neared the woman, the fire around his wrists fading. They were replaced quickly by fog and ice, and Gamby knelt on the ground by her. "Easy there. Don't shoot me, and I'll wash that off for you, alright?"
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"Okay, um, no. You're not touching me. I have an illusionary... towel... person, okay fine! But hurry up!"
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Gamby rolled his eyes, sending a look towards the thief as he took the soaked cloth. "You sure have a way with motivation." He took a few seconds to gather a ball of water in his palm, then stretched it out to cover his fingers in a thick, flowing skin. Gods, just do not shoot me. He pressed his thumb over the woman's eye gently, only letting the water touch her and not his own skin, and spread his fingers to glide over her brow and forehead. There wasn't as much toxin as he'd feared from her reaction, but Gambooge was careful to wipe away any that would have dripped in her eye all the same. He dropped his hand and let green tinted water splash into the ground as the other formed its own skin, and while he cleaned her other eye, he drew the water out of the cloth to press it to her de-gooped eye.
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That... actually feels really nice. I mean, considering five seconds ago. And not because it's Gambooge. Eew. It'd feel nice from anyone. Except Syrgei. I would have literally shot him. And then I'd have blood all over me in addition to slime and puke.
Maybe I should shoot him anyway. "Having fun? I think we're done. You can stop now." She flicks back the invisible hammer on her pistol. Yay for auditory illusions. "Stop." |
Again? He sighed and pulled his hands away, once again holding them up where she could see them, assuming she opened her eyes. "Stopping."
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Tsae slowly blinks her eyes open, not noticing any particular damage.
Okay, immediate threat dealt with. Clothes are going to be... complicated. Letting her gun dissipate, she carefully peels her gloves off and discards them, then extends her hand to Gambooge in appreciation. "Thanks for that. Glad to see I can count on someone around here." As soon as he takes her hand, though, she kicks him even harder in the shin. "But I'm blaming this entirely on you, just so we're clear." |
He thumped back onto his rear, yanking his hand back, and pulled his legs away from the mesmer, his eyes narrowed at her. "Fine! Have fun cleaning up with that!" Gambooge pointed at the thief, his bucket, and his pile of ragged looking cloths. "I bet you've got a great taste in your mouth, too, huh? I hope that water isn't contaminated!"
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Looks like she’s back to normal.
Syrgei stands up, watching as the Mesmer berates the Elementalist now sitting on the ground and cradling his legs. I suppose this is going be normal. When the scowling settles, he looks to Tsaerri, “you know, it probably wouldn’t kill you to be a little more personable,” and hands her the peasant clothing he has draped his arm. “As I said, not much, but you can likely find something better in town. I don’t think our sponsor will object to the trip.” He gestures back towards the reservoir. “There’s a pump-house there where you can change. I’m just going to assume you don’t want any extra help.” |
"Oh, I'm sure you'd just love to come 'help'." She yanks the clothes away from him, leaving the bucket.
"I'm going down to the river to clean off. And in case it isn't clear..." She gestures to her left and three phantasms armed with a pair of pistols each spring into being. "...following me would be a bad idea." |
Syrgei watches Tsaerri as she walks down to the river.
"Not really." |
Gamby groaned and flopped backwards onto his back, thankfully missing any large puddles of goo or vomit. "Maybe if she was a little more grateful!" Huffing, he pulled the newly bruised leg up towards his chest to rub the pain away. It didn't work.
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