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Thanks Quiet. I'm not to particularly fond of them but they are far from my least favorites.
Streets |
{Untiltled}
Since most people won't get this imediatly it is written from the prospective of a abuser to their victim. It was a project for class we had to write a piece, whether in prose or poetry, about abuse. I am not privay to an abusers thoughts so I wrote my own ideas down, there is no science behind them and cannot be considered fact. And now one that is actually rather upbeat: Music And yet a third: Gone And I'm not sure what this last thing even is...It might be a poem, it might be a song, or it might be a piece of prose. Or maybe all three. Forever |
Let Go
Give Up |
I personally like them, especially the fire one...as some people have said, there were minor spelling errors and a bit cliche rhetoric, but still cool. i can tell you're getting better though :)
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Thanks, Ninja. I'm trying to get better and fix everything but it is still all a work in progress.
Oh, and by the way, I got another: Street Urchins |
Updating after a long haitus. Both were originally supposed to be soemthing a bit different but apparently the New Year makes me depressed.
Warning a bit of language in "Human" Human War Spoils |
I'm intruiged by "War Spoils" though I think you have some spell checker errors there, "out" instead of "our."
I like the game reference but to call them chips and then refer to a chess game is a little off. "Chips" make me think poker and gambling, but chess doesn't use them. |
I changed the 'out' to 'our' I don't know how that was missed.
And the 'chips' is because it was originally " Now our lives are chips, And this is poker, The one with the best mask wins." I didn't like it so I changed the game to chess, but I used pawns in the last line and did not wish to repeat myself. I do suppose I could use 'pieces' though... |
It's surprisingly easy to miss stuff in your own work. I've proofread a piece four times and still found an error in it when I printed it out to read again. I think it comes from having written the piece, when reading it over the writer may read more from their memory of what they wrote rather than directly from the page, which a new reader would have to do, and therefore miss some of the mini-mistakes like that.
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I usually proof read but since it is my own writings I'm familiar with the content causing me to do something similar to speed reading and skip over smaller words. XD
I have this poem that I don't own. The girl that does gave me permission to post it. She wrote it for our creative writing class. We were supposed to write a poem and later a horror story using a /darker/ translation of our writing partner. I was hers so the poem is about me! In a very twisted way~ <3 Illusions I'll get my poem for her and our story up later. |
And now my poem for her character. She was an interesting one and making her /darker/ was easy and way too much fun. And it is supposed to be from her character's view, just to clear up any confusion.
Coeur Noir (French for Black Heart) Story in progress, not yet ready for posting. Okay it is now sorta (not really) reading for a bit of posting. And truth betold, we weren't actually going to write a gory romance. But my poem sealed the poor story's fate so without much ado I give you~ Krof Verführung (Blood Seduction-German) |
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