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"Wait! Wait!"
There was heaving and rumbling as a heavy body of fur and claws ran on all fours to catch up with the group. Panting as it came to a stop, the creature became bipedal as it stood up, snapping a clawed salute to its head. "Dan Magnum reporting for adventuring duty!" He let the salute fall, remembering he was no longer on active duty. "Apologies for tardiness. Skaeye had me on grocery detail. I was shopping for potatoes and other legumes, and...the sweet potatoes, they were low in stock, and I went to reach for one, and..." He shuddered, remembering in graphic detail what had happened. "There was this woman. She reached for the last potato just as I did. I accidentally grazed her hand, but my claw cut through her skin. I, I think I nicked something. She sprayed streams of blood all over the stall, fountained all over my groceries. She coated that last sweet potato in her life's fluid. I tried to calm her, to assure her that everything would be okay, but she just kept bleeding. And screaming. Oh human gods, the screaming. The guards were surrounding us now. They had seen the accident, but it didn't matter. She was wounded and surrounded and animal instincts took over. She attempted to flee, but the guards pinned her down for her safety. That wild eye look of hurt prey witnessing its last moments, that was, that...was..." He trailed off, rocking back and forth slowly as the events replayed through his head. After a moment he came to his senses, offering what appeared to be a damp knapsack. "Grocery detail, all groceries freshly washed! No, er, blood!" |
Nope, it's decided. I am not even going to be surprised at this point. Do your worst, world. I am so handling this. Yep.
"You could have, like... dropped them off back at base?" It's way too much effort to even raise an eyebrow at the gross satchel. "I don't know. Throw them in the golem, I guess. If it'll let you." Turning her attention back to Eduardo, she did her best to keep him engaged with... the Shaemoor farmholds. Surely the most exotic part of Queensdale to take a foreigner through. Just look, there was old Jeb, and Diah... why was Diah rushing toward them? "You have to help, please! It's the bandits again! They're attacking the farm! Before she could catch herself, Tsaerri blurted out, "What? Why? What the hell do you have that anyone would want to steal? Don't tell me it's those depressed cows of yours..." "Aren't you from one of the Guilds? Please, you have to help us, they'll take everything!" Murmuring, "Okay, then...." she looked up to Eduardo. "Your call, boss. What's the plan?" |
"Bandits? I think this is an exciting opportunity to observe the more impoverished people, and try to understand what disadvantages have led them to do what it is they do. And they-"
He clapped a hand to his mouth, attempting to suppress a giggle. "Is, is the one with the big nose there? I've heard stories! There's the big nose one, and...er, others! We should leave at once! Oh, and to protect the farms too. Yes, that will be quite the occasion to witness. Off to the farms, please!" |
While Gambooge frowned at the... odd Charr, the golem beside him popped open the hatch on its front. It reached inside and removed Gamby's forgotten breakfast, holding it away from itself before tipping the plate and dumping everything on the ground.
"Hey!" he shouted as he reached for the dish, which the golem promptly held above its head. "Please—store—items—now." As irritating as the golem was, Gambooge's attention was easily pulled away by the mention of bandits. Still reaching for the plate, he looked to the mesmer and the Sylvari. "Wait, a raid?" |
"Uhh, apparently. Welcome to the job? You'd think the Seraph would be able to deal with the local bandits..."
I didn't really feel like killing anyone today, but if it actually is Ted.... |
It had better not be. Syrgei thinks upon hearing Ed's exclamation about the "big-nosed" bandit.
"Of course," he says to Diah, then takes off at a run towards the farm, thin lines of smoke starting to appear from inside the paddock. |
"Okay... stay close to me, I guess." This is how you bodyguard, right? By leading the client right into danger?
Further down the hill, Tsae can see nefarious figures swarming over the wheat-fields, stamping down the crops and dragging off the cows, hooting and jeering all the while. What is even the point? She carefully perches herself on the ledge above the lowest tier, crossing her arms and watching the chaos for a moment. It takes them way too long to notice her. "Hey, you got a problem, little girl? Liable to get yourself dead real quick if you and your friend don't clear out!" Bolstered by their numbers -- three at this end -- they make various threatening gestures in Tsaerri's direction. She calls down to them in a resigned voice. "Look, you really don't have to die here. It's seriously not worth it. Just go back... wherever it is you came from... and we'll pretend we never saw you, okay?" They begin laughing and advancing on her. Like idiots. "Seriously? A five-foot girl in a blindfold threatens your life and think it's a joke? I mean, either I'm totally insane or you're all about to die horribly. Are you really confident in those odds?" They look confused for a moment, but manage to shore up their resolve with a few pats on the back and some unimaginative innuendos thrown her direction. Tsaerri turns to Ed briefly and shrugs. "I tried. Make sure that goes in your report to Skaeye." And with a devilish smile, "Enjoy the show." |
Eduardo nodded, raising his voice to call out to the bandits.
"Excuse me! Lower class people. Before she murders you, could you tell me in a brief way what led you to this socio-economic status and why you prey upon the lower farm folk instead of participating lawfully in society and the economy?" |
Dan drew his pistols, bristling for a fight with a bag of potatoes dangling awkwardly from a claw.
"Bandits. Scum of Tyria. Nobody takes my vegetables captive!" He let out a guttural roar, running downward towards the fight. He could suppress the PTSD for the moment. There would be time for shattered psyches later. "You're the reason I cut a woman today!" |
Moving down to the lower paddock, Syrgei vanishes for a moment to reappear in the paddock's exit as a bandit attempts to make off with his stolen livestock. Syrgei's sudden appearance startles the animal into running back into it's pen, dragging the hapless bandit with it, while a group of his fellows turn to advance on the intruding thief.
"Hey! This is our target here, get your own!" "Times bad enough you have to steal a few cows, but you still burn down the crops? You don't think too far ahead, do you?" He sidesteps the first swings, relieving one bandit of her weapon before tripping her up and sending her rolling down the slope towards the lower field, then throws her crude club into the legs of the next incoming bandit. |
A confused second passes, and one of the bandits shouts out a vulgarity involving Queen Jenna, which serves as an impromptu war-cry as they move to attack.
I really did warn them.... As the clumsy oafs lurch for her, Tsae instantly blinks behind them, leaving behind an afterimage that begins to fire its imaginary gun in their direction. The projectiles are harmless, but sure enough, they squeal and scatter for cover. Even as they do, though, she's moving, blinking again behind the first and calling forth Monarch. The violet specter of the sword explodes from the man's sternum from behind, and she leaves it there to futilely claw at as he dies. The second, by this point, has amazingly regained his bearings and comes bearing down at her with a dagger flashing. Unperturbed, Tsae backflips away, snapping her fingers in mid-air and laying down a line of shimmering light while calling Vis to her other hand. As she lands, she snaps again, and unseen forces tear the man from his feet, and with strength far beyond what she'd be able to use with a physical blade, she hurls the illusory greatsword like a spear into his chest. Except, she misses a little and accidentally castrates him instead. At this point, the third bandit is on his knees begging for his life as she calmly approaches him, snapping for Ilya, which she places against his temple, kneeling down. Her hand traces a caress down his shivering cheek. "Shhhhhhh." On the other side, the barrel of the gun slides down to his neck and under his jaw, forcing his head back. "It's okay. It won't hurt. You made a stupid decision, but I forgive you." Feeling slightly bad for this miserable waste of flesh, she briefly entertains the thought of kissing him before she blows his brains out, but that is just not happening. Not with that beard. Shrugging, she pulls the trigger and watches blood-spattered butterflies comes shimmering out of his skull. Hopping to her feet, Tsae dismisses her weapons and blinks back up to make sure Eduardo is safe. |
"CUT THEM DOWN!"
Dan roared at the bandits as he pounced in to one, firing point blank in to one before bowling in to another. He stood over the now prone form, rage coursing through his veins as he remembered back to the market. Back to that last potato, the potato somewhere in the sack... Do it Dan. Just...do it. He's the reason why. "YOU! ARE GOING! TO RESPECT! PRODUCE!" Dan hauled back, swinging the sack of food against the man's face. He repeated, losing himself in the combat all around him as he smashed the bag again and again in to the man's head. Taking it in both of his hands, he brought it down repeatedly, ramming it back and forth until the screams from the morally challenged ruffian died down and the struggling stopped. After a while he began to run low on steam, only half-heartedly pressing it against the glassy eyed visage before he ceased. He stared at that face. At least, what was left of it. The impact of several pounds of vegetables had deformed the features, and lumps and fractures in the skull had made it somewhat more off center, almost vegetable like itself. "Human gods-damned vandals. They...they take, and they take, and they don't understand until you take from them. It's never going to change." Meanwhile, in Eduardo Land Eduardo looked on at the horror surrounding him. Everywhere, carnage rained as mere men were cut down by this savage bunch that he had added to his bankroll. He could not comprehend it. He had read about it, sure. He had thought he understood. But to see it for himself, in person with his own eyes, well...it was different. So very different and alien. He could not believe what he was witnessing. As the bloodbath subsided, he cleared his throat and spoke to them in a bemused voice. "You mean...they see you coming, they whitness the massacre, and...they still attack? Hwhy? Hwhy do they do it? If they're going to press the offensive when they are clearly outcast, then they deserve this. Hmph. Frankly, I am disappointed. They didn't even try to beg for mercy." |
"Hey, I told them exactly what would happen if they didn't leave. You heard it, I heard it, they heard it." And it better go on the record.... "Now, as for... whatever you want to call what happened on THAT side of the farm?" Tsaerri takes a pointed step backward to distance herself from the insane Charr. "I'm not even touching that."
Out of the corner of her eye, Tsae notices Diah staring at the carnage in revulsion, particularly at Dan and his bloody sack. Poking Eduardo in the arm, she tells him, "We should probably consider contracting someone to clean up after us. I think we're supposed to be keeping up our reputation, or something." |
Eduardo looked back towards the city with disdain, not wishing to waste the day by trekking back to hire what essentially would be janitorial services.
"Hrm, well. I don't think I'd like to go back just yet." Approaching the horrified farmer, Eduardo produced a fat bag of coins and held it out towards Diah. "We are suddenly in a hurry, and I apologize for the inconvenience caused by my, er, compatriots. Would two hundred gold be sufficient for you to contract enough able bodies to dispose of this, er, mess?" |
The usual chaos of a bandit attack was nothing compared to what his guild caused. By the time Gambooge and his irritatingly slow Bag had caught up to the others at the farm, there were bodies all around the grounds, many of them obviously dead. As much as it made his stomach twist, he didn't linger on it before he turned to the golem, a press on the door of its hatch making it close. "Round up the cattle."
"Multiple—enemies—detected. Confirm—attack—mode." "No," he replied, drawing his element around him. Cold prickled down his arm, fog collecting around his hands. It swirled, thickened, and ice crystals grew where it was most dense. "Keep your distance." "Passive—mode—activated." With heavy footfalls, the golem started around the outskirts of the farm, away from the massacre inside its broken fences. A flash of light took Gambooge to the broken and burning crops. And he, he could tell at a glance, was the only one in his group that could be bothered. In fact, he frowned and glanced over his shoulder while he raised his hands, the fog spreading and thinning as water gathered in front of him. It looked like the sylvari was just going to pay this family off. Turning his attention back to his own task, he pushed his palms forward, waves of water lurching at the growing flames and dousing them. |
Syrgei walked up back up to the upper portion the fields, dragging the lame bandit with him by the collar of their vest. On seeing what was left of the raid, he let the bandit fall the rest of the way to the ground and slowly stepped around the carnage.
"Was that really necessary?" Another bandit was in a groaning heap by one of the haystacks, the cow he was previously hanging onto now back to grazing morosely by the fence. |
"Huh? What?" Tsaerri turns to see Syrgei hauling another of the brigands up to the pile. "Oh. Are we not killing this one?"
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Syrgei looked to Tsae, to the mess, to the bandit, to...Dan.
Oh boy. "I...think we'll let the Seraph have these two," he says, gesturing to the other bandit still sitting by the haystack. |
"Uhh... in case you didn't notice, the Seraph weren't anywhere in sight to help. And if you were paying attention, this isn't the first time this has happened here. Now, we know it won't happen again."
Walking deliberately past Syrgei, she snaps for Ilya and shoots the kneeling bandit in the back of the head, never breaking from his gaze. "See? "As far as I'm concerned, they've signed their own death warrant. Seriously, who cares about a few less arsonists and rapists? You think Logan Thackery wants to bother with the paperwork for putting scum like this into prison?" Shaking her head bitterly, Tsaerri sighs and looks away. |
"And you don't think your little display might have been enough?" He stands over to face her, regardless, looking at her blindfold.
"Who cares? Right, who cares. They were just bandits. Did they really deserve to be killed for stealing? A dead bandit is still going to be replaced by the next one easily enough. We could at least make them think twice about attacking again." |
"Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't aware they'd signed a contract that they were specifically here just to steal some cows. Because that's okay. Clearly, Diah and Jeb weren't in any personal danger. So we should just let the Seraph handle it. Oh, wait. What Seraph?"
I cannot believe I am even arguing over this... "I literally put my life in danger to try and talk them out of it. What the hell more do you want from me?" She starts pacing around the field in frustration. "And how exactly does the math work on your little theory? We kill bandits, and somehow end up with more bandits? That makes a lot of sense..." She kicks one of the corpses halfheartedly a few times. |
Syrgei shakes his head, why am I trying? "You're a performer, right? Wouldn't you think a display has more meaning if people are there to see it? Sure, they aren't about to rob anyone anymore, but they also aren't about to tell anyone else that maybe raiding for a livelihood isn't such a good idea?"
He watches her walk over to one of the corpses and sighs heavily." |
She stops immediately, snapping a glare at him that he can't see.
"Excuse me?" Tsae stalks back over to the pacifistic imbecile one last time, clenching her hands to stop herself from pulling a weapon on him. "I don't perform for anyone, least of all you. I'm sure there's an army of socialite sluts at the academy you'd get on just fine with, but unfortunately, you're stuck with me, and if our job is to put a stop to bandit raids -- which it isn't, let me remind you. Hi Ed, are you enjoying your day out in the 'Dale? -- I'd just as soon have them crucified on the roadside, or, you know, just keep killing them until they aren't a problem anymore. Goddess!" And with that she stomps away back to the road. |
Well that was the wrong thing to say.
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With all of the fires out, Gambooge was dismissing the last of the excess water puddled around the crops when he heard the shouts across the farm. Even before he looked back at the arguing pair he knew just which it had to have been that upset the woman. He grimaced and shook his head, dropping his hands and shaking away the ice around them. "Gods help that boy."
Meanwhile, Bag made its way back towards the farm, a cow even slower than the golem itself slogging around in front of it. It saw the mesmer nearing and raised its arms, waving them in the air. "Cattle—acquired. Would—you—like—some—milk?" |
Thankfully, no one is close enough to hear the unspeakable things Tsaerri says to Bag.
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Eduardo watched in an awkward cocktail of horror, fascination, and amazement as the two had argued, questions queuing up in a line before a much larger one decided that waiting in line was for chumps and shoved its way to the front. He hurried a little to catch up to them, waving at them as he spoke.
"So what you're saying is that she needs some sort of...public relations firm to spread word of her exploits should no one survive them? Am I hearing that right? I could make that happen. I own several bards." Meanwhile, in the jagged fractured chasms of Dan's psych... He'd killed again. It never got easier. Well, that was incorrect. The killing was easy. It had always been easy. The living with it was the hard part. Dan knew what drove men to desperation. Wants. Needs. The realization that something is less than the desired amount, coupled with the gnawing little voice that whispered how easily you could sate that desire. It's okay,it would say. You need it. It's okay if you do it because you need it. It's a good excuse. Isn't that right Dan? He shook his head. Below him lay a broken man. Unrecognizable by anyone, missed by who the hell knew. He bet it hadn't always been that way though. Once upon a time that man had been someone's child. Loved by a family, raised with dreams for a better life. But things happened. Things always happened, and the little voice Dan knew so well chimed in again. What do you think happened Dan? Did the mother die? Was the father a drunk? Did he run away? Did he live a sad, short, miserable little life of nights on the streets and staying tough to survive? Was there a chance for him? A redeeming little quality waiting to be exposed? Maybe it was for others? A child can become a father as well Dan. This is a farm, Dan. What would the poor want from the poor? These people have food. Was it food Dan? Did this man have mouths to feed? Who will feed them now? It won't be you. You've closed them Dan. A man is dead because of you and now you'll have to wonder how many little lives you'll never know about may have died because of what you did here. It will keep you up at night. Think about it Dan. You killed this man with the food he was desperate enough to steal. Now he's dead and more will go hungry. How can you live with it Dan? They want to know how you can live with it. This man certainly won't. He ran a palm across his face, willing the little voice to go away. It subsided without fanfare. Picking himself off of the corpse, he gave it one more look that he instantly regretted, and quietly walked away to join the rest of the living. |
Facing away from Ed, Syrgei stops walking and plants his face into his palm.
Gods help me, I got up way too early today. Syrgei approaches Gambooge, who appears to have taken care of the remaining crop fires. "Would you mind speaking with Tsaerri to see if we can get this escort back on track? I can..." he pauses at the sight of BAG with his retrieved cattle, "probably help Diah and Jeb with the cows." Eyes following BAG's trail he sees the pile of human pulp that was one bandit's face and then Dan, looking despairingly at his sack of potatoes. "Is he going to be okay?" |
"Uh, what?" Having been rolling the soreness out of his wrists, he looked over at the thief. "Excuse you! What makes you think I should talk to her? You're the one that pissed her off!"
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"That was why. I thought she might be more inclined to talk to you."
He sighs. "Alright, I guess I deserve it." He starts walking back down the field, but pauses by Eduardo and Dan, who was still looking at the bag of vegetables. See to the rest of the group, or go after the woman who is probably going to sever something if I get too close? He stops a little short of the Charr. "Dan?" |
Dan lifted his head slowly, sadness and regret apparent in his eyes.
"I'm fine, pinky. I'm ready to go. I think we're all ready to go." Oh I don't think you are Dan. There's a lot of places you never left. Dan stared at Syrgei, then crooked a furred eyebrow as he stared over his shoulder towards the...hrm. What would describe that Sylvari? Flamboyant? Fruiffy? How about 'arrogant little fop looking to get his face gnawed off?' Dan figured that would about cover it. For the first time he agreed with the little voice in his head. "So what's with melon nose over there? Are we just on babysitting duty while he strolls around or what?" |
"That seems to be the case. He wants to sight-see, we keep him alive while he's doing it." Speaking of which...
"I guess we had better see to him." |
In the aftermath of the attack, Farmer Jeb approaches Eduardo, as he is the only member of the guild still nearby. He pats the Sylvari on the back appreciatively.
"I thank you. My cows thank you. Everyone who eats beef and drinks milk thanks you!" |
Eduardo looked at the, er...lower class person quizzically, wondering how a person of their financial position could be the appointed speaker for all beef eating and milk drinking consumers, some who surely had much more money than this person.
"Well I suppose the next time all those of that particular demographic convene again, you may instruct them that I accept their gratitude. And now, I must be off. My party waits for no man, it seems. Even if that man is Eduardo." And with that he was off, hiking up his coat just a little as he ran to close the distance between him and the others. Eduardo retreats to join the others, but Dan can never run from his past! "Great. An Escort mission. Been on plenty of those before." And how many of those did you fail, Dan? Dan winced, remembering the failed promises and the empty returns home from a lifetime that refused to die down. "Let's just get this over with before something happens. We took five steps and entered a bloodbath. Who knows what we're up against next." |
"I'm not sure I'd count on 'over with' being any time soon," unless we manage to scare him back into his manor before we make it out of Queensdale.
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Okay... that wasn't very professional. But Goddess, I swear he's here just to make my job miserable.
And now I'm just going to... um... let's see, that way is back to the city, and over there are... some more fields. Oh, maybe I could sneak behind the farm and dive head-first into the ravine. On the plus side, Syrgei would probably feel terrible about driving me to suicide. On the other hand, though... gold. Grumbling inside all the while, Tsae hops up onto the fence along the roadside, her legs swinging idly through the gap, and starts playing with her gun again, refusing to look in the group's direction. |
Gambooge only glared at the thief for a moment or two before he heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes heavenward. He was glad the golem was busy looking for cattle which, more likely than not, would find their way back on their own eventually. Despite what he'd said, he made his way to the road, casting one more glance over their scattered group. The sylvari seemed to be finishing up their business here, and Bag was stomping around farther away, chasing an agitated cow along a broken fence. Gods only knew what the other two were talking about. He certainly didn't want to know. "Who even goes out before dropping off groceries? Ugh!" He ran a hand back through his hair and tugged, rolling his neck before he finally paid attention to the road once again. As soon as he had, he spotted the woman. "Hey!"
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It would have been nice to pretend that wasn't directed at her, but, alas, mind reading. She waits until Gambooge gets closer before hopping off the fence, stretching and looking off down the road in the opposite direction.
"So, is this where you tell me that I need to make this work for the good of the guild? That I'm not setting a good example here?" |
"Uh..." Don't get yourself shot. He frowned and came to a stop near her, peering back toward the others. "No, I was going to ask what the hell he said to make you run off. I mean," he looked to Tsae, "you were acting like a real sunshine—" comparatively "—after the gold came up. Wondering why the act stopped."
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Oh. So we're doing this instead....
Tsaerri sighs and leans back against the fence. "Well, for one thing it's obvious that Ed isn't judging anyone. Which is good, 'cause I'm pretty sure I'd have shot myself in the head if I had to keep that routine up much longer." But that's not what he was really asking. Fine. Running a hand through her hair, Tsae pulls out the ties of her pigtails and shakes them loose, pushing the stray strands out of her face while she tries to figure out how to answer him. "I think it's called a professional disagreement? Hell if I know. He's apparently having a crisis of conscience over there, or something. I don't know what he wants me to do. I can't bring them back to life. Not that I would." |
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