Granted but now you can never nap during the day ever again.

I wish I had more cookies.

Granted, but they're all soggy.

I wish I had more fruit to eat.

Granted, but now you have to collect rain water every day just to keep a food forest alive in your yard.

I wish I could predict the future

Granted, but no one will ever believe any predictions you make

I wish I had some cod to deep fry

Granted! Unfortunately, your fryer is broken.

I wish the grocery store near me sold Pocky.

Granted, but they only sell green tea pocky

I wish my favorite tea was still sold in stores

Granted but it's all past the expiration date.

I wish I had grown up part of a different family.

(^^I mean...I actually like the green tea pocky alright, so that's cool...)

Granted, but your new family is worse than your previous one.

I wish I had ice cream.

Granted but every time you try and scoop it yourself it falls on the ground.

I wish magic was real.

Granted. Unfortunately, you have a passive ability that neutralizes all magic in a 60 mile radius of yourself, so you never know.

I wish I always had just enough money for anything I needed to buy.

Granted but it's always sold out.

I wish I had a magical notebook that made anything that was wrote in it come true.

granted, but you have a millisecond to write whatever before it poofs.

i wish i could turn back time

Granted but your soul gets turned into a soul gem and each time you turn back time your soul gem darkens until you die.

I wish I had a tv screen floor so my cat could play with those cat vids.

madoka pls
 

granted but the electricity bill is best left to the imagination.

i wish i knew the meaning of life.

Wish granted, but it's in a corrupted, unrecoverable PSD file.

I wish I had a better computer.

granted but it's a work computer, and your boss can see everything you do on it.

i wish i had a copy of that PSD file before it all went to shiet