Granted, but now everyone else is 1 foot shorter than you


I wish I didn't have to pee right now

Granted, but you can never pee and you will always feel like you have to pee.

I wish I can materialize food into existence.

Granted, but the food only comes in 5-ton increments.

I wish I could knit!

Granted but everything you knit does not fit the intended person or thing

I wish I could be left alone all weekend

Granted, but now you must live out the rest of your life alone
I wish I had a coffee right now.

Granted, now you're Ant (Wo)man!

I wish I had a stronger willpower.

Granted! But now you're sleepy all the time.

I wish I had better internet

Granted, but now your power will go off frequently and unexpectedly.

I wish I could get paid for doing nothing

Granted, but you become a vegetable.

I wish I was the most competent person on earth.

Granted, but everyone else just seems so dumb and keep asking you to explain things over and over...

I wish it wasn't so hot

Granted, but now you can't feel heat
I wish hemorrhoids didn't exist

Granted, but now uhh people poop through their navel. You're welcome.


I wish I could had a new pc tomorrow.

Granted, but everyone else in the world gets a Mac.
I wish I didn't get so damn tongue-tied around pretty girls

Awww. Ok but now you just can't stop talking. Like you just blab 24/7, so annoying.

I wish I didn't have to take so many meds.

Granted, but now you puke up pills once a day.
I wish I could focus.

Granted, but now even if there's a fire you can't unfocus.

I wish I had balance.