Trisphee - Suze Poetry

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On Earth As It Is In Heaven

Took me three stanzas to decide you had a rhyme scheme going. Not sure I'm all that fond of it. It's different for you.

I notice this running theme of things, elevated things, being beaten into existence. I had a thought, but now I'm not sure. I was about to ask what came first: the essence beaten into shape or the thing that is attempting to forge it, but now I'm stuck on the nature of the "thing" and I may have gone and confused myself. I wish that sounded more academic. Give me a minute...

Quote:

infant omniscience balanced on a needle

And is this a reference to the angels on the head of a pin?

The last couple stanzas made me...uncomfortable. ...I'm also having a weird semi-shitty day, so that might have contributed. Agreeing w Quiet on the rhyme scheme. It's a bit odd and sometimes feels forced.

....also the title might have made me giggle a bit, having gone to catholic high and all.

that's not a rhyme scheme, that's a joke

I can't find the picture. Assume there's a tiny dog here beneath a giant depression rock that is thinly propped up by memes and video games.

Okay but actual serious question -- do memes not break the two-word limit rule for posts :|

Also -cautious eyeroll-

don't you live in america or something? the people in charge don't have to follow the rules

....Okay actually, let's not go there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suzerain of Sheol (Post 1786730)

[B]this was the meta-moment
the ur-instant of confluent gravity
the genesis of God
infant omniscience balanced on a needle
bleeding out the cosmos
beaten until it was conscious

I do like this part here; this bit of God-birth, especially when compared with the satirical image in my head of the actual purpose of angels dancing on a pinhead.