Granted but when they send them back to you they put someone else's lenses in by accident and now you have to send them back again!

(Terrible about the guac D: water guac? seriously? that's so gnar D:)
I wish I would remember to dip my pizza in the ranch before I eat my last slice. . .
(I always think about it after the fact)

Granted but it is missing more then half the alphabet and keeps spelling out swear words to you. . .

I wish Frosted animal cookies didn't cost so much D:

Granted, trees now grow back super fast. So whenever you cut one down, you just have to wait a couple of minutes for the next one to respawn. However after a while the trees notice they are able to claim back all territories man stole from their cold bare twigs centuries ago. Every city overgrows and soon all that's left of modern civilization are mere memories. The environment is doing better than ever.

I wish it wasn't too hot to sleep in my room right now.

Granted! But at the end of the year you've spent too much money on auctions!

I wish animals could human-speak.

Granted, but now your pets blackmail you with all those dirty little secrets they found out over the years.

I wish I knew what to put into my forum sig.

Granted, but those abilities only show when you're completely intoxicated.

I wish no one will ever be harmed anymore because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Granted, but you get sucked into a plan turbine.
I wish I could rule the world.

*nods to Twinkle* So sad and yet so true.

Boris, I gift you a ruler and a drawing of the world cut from unruled paper. You're free to do whatever you please to it, rule it, checker it, draw obscene stuff...

I wish I could study at a renowned university.

You do now! But the doggo ate all your shoes and peed on your clothes.

I wish I could sing well.