Granted but now despite its texture it's completely flavorless!

I wish I could enjoy being drunk without hangovers.

Granted but now you get hangovers from not being drunk
or wait
is that withdrawals?
hmmmmmm. . . .
I wish I didn't have to go back to work for stupid reasons 2 hours after I already left D:

D: Granted, but now you have to go back to work for serious reasons.

I wish lack of sleep didn't give me diarrhea.

I actually did .-. Ended up manifesting a bunch of orders for this week and printing out labels

Granted but now sleep gives you constipation? What is life even D:

I wish I could stop questioning my existence

Granted, but now you question everyone else's existence. Are they really there?

I wish I didn't have to exercise.

Granted but now . . . well . .. your health has started deteriorating to say the least. . . .

I wish Idaho wasn't gonna be hotter then home D:

Granted, but Idaho's potatoes start causing cold fires.

I wish humans weren't so fragile.

Granted but now you can't even cut your own nails and they start growing out hella weird and shit, and same with your hair and nose and ears. . .. . .

I wish my flight hadn't gotten delayed 2 fucking hours D:

Eek!

Granted, but the person sitting next to you has an extremely loud and growling stomach from missing his lunch--as he was about to eat the moment the flight was about to leave.

I wish floors wouldn't make creaking noises.

Granted! But now breathing is like turning a car on.

I wish we didn't have to sleep to function.

Granted! But now everyone uses the lights 24/7 and by 2020 no one can see stars in the sky anywhere except in the Amazon rainforest.

I wish allergies didn't exist

Granted, but now he is actually to clingy and its being to not only be a huge turn-off, but a huge inconvenience and dangerous to your well being!

I wish the pizza would get here faster =O

Granted! But the delivery guy asked you to pay double for his/her tip!

I wish I would finish my homework on before 3 AM today.

D: but I am using a coupon oh no!

You finish your homework by 11pm, but when you wake up at 7am you realize it was for the wrong class!

I wish this guacamole had smaller bits of avocado

Granted, but the avocado are micro size so the guacamole is now 99% water. 1% guacamole.

I wish my glasses were delivered to my eye doctor already.