Damn still my life XD

Granted but it is not the best sushi and you feel slightly disappointed.

I wish this soup would take less time to cook

Granted, but an ingredient is missing!

I wish time would go by slower.

Granted but now it is REALLY REALLY SLOW and a pain in the you know what >.>

I wish my laptop would stop acting so weird D:

Granted! But now your laptop doesn't act at all!


I wish I could stay up to watch the snow pile up.

Granted but it stops snowing whenever you are looking outside.

I wish I wasn't so sensitive to peoples lack of care towards me.

Granted, but now you're insensitive of people's lack of care towards you.

I wish I knew why the weather's been so odd with a better explanation than a big blanket "climate change."

Science. GrantedXD
BUT even though you know the answer, telling people what you know makes you seem like a delusional conspiracy theorist

I wish my bunny hadn't given birth without giving me more signs of what was going on XD

Granted. Time rewinds to an alternate reality: your bunny is pregnant. And giving you signs. Lots of signs, to be precise. Like that letter on the breakfast table saying "Guess who's having quintuplets!" (I'm sure your bunny didn't deliberately want your parents to read it first and freak out about it, thinking it's you). Or the huge "Preggo" cut in your front lawn (You still have no idea how she managed to operate the lawnmower). Not to forget the thirty-two sticky notes ranging anywhere from "Have you arranged my baby shower yet?" to "My back hurts. Massage please!" - and how on earth did she manage to switch your phone's ringtone to Rock-a-bye Baby? And of course you're by far not the only one to notice all these signs. This very bunny is on her way to an internet phenomenon... when all she truly wanted was to give birth in a quiet spot. She probably hates you now.

I wish for the detection of the first intelligent extraterrestrial life form to happen somewhere during the next ten years.

Granted! But the detection of the first intelligent extraterrestrial life form came from a message sent from the extraterrestrial life forms! They've been assimilated on earth for a few years now and have managed to understand the language and culture. Now, they've sent a declaration of "peace." So long as the United Nations agree to give up reign of Earth peaceably to these extraterrestrial life forms, they will not exterminate the human race with the destruction of hospitals and injections of HIV blood from labs all over Earth.

I wish I had a bedroom.

Granted, but it used to be your kitchen, so you no longer have one. OR you sleep inside the fridge.

I wish I had gone to sleep earlier.

Granted, but you wake up 3 hours earlier so it really didn't help anyways.

I wish I could stay mentally strong enough to finish this week off

Granted, but next week is alll sleep for you.

I wish I didn't have to do blood exams.

GRANTED but it's still gonna be sore AF for another 5 weeks and be troublesome.

I wish my husband wouldn't snore so loudly T.T

Granted! But now he grinds his teeth instead.

I wish pencil lead were given another name.

Now it's called Potironette, and everyone makes fun of you for being named after the pencil filling.

I wish I didn't have to go out in the sun.