Granted, but you have a high probability of getting hit in the face with pointy things when you dont have your mask on

I wish life would stay like this nice and quite and lonesome XD

Granted, but you'll die without any socialization

I wish for a million wishes

Granted but all of them are corrupted
(I could totally deal with that I get enough socialization online)

I wish I found this bagel as appealing as when I asked for it.

Granted but it taste like trash.

I wish for a new job.

Granted. You're hired as a toilet attendant for minimum wage. Hey, you just wished for a new job, not a good one. In case you already are a restroom attendant, you get a new career opportunity at garbage disposal. Still minimum wage - but hey, you're doing important work for your community, right?

I wish I could travel to the 1920s without getting stuck there.

Granted, but you will keep going farther back in time

I wish it was always sunny and good weather

Granted, but most plants die without rain. Then herbivores die without plants. Which leads to carnivores dying without... well, I think you get the idea. On the bright side, if you manage to survive you can now build wonderful sandcastles in the desert which used to be your hometown.

I wish whenever humans got pregnant, there'd be a 1 in 10 chance for the baby to be a puppy or kitten. (Which may or may not be inspired by your signature.)

Granted, but its claws make it 10x more painful than labor usually is.

I wish weird is normal

Granted! But now... what is even weird anymore? Picking the nose is the new normal.

I wish I had a bathtub.

Granted! But your pipes broke and now you need to wait a week for them to be fixed!

I wish I had a glass jar for putting water in.

Granted, but you dropped it and it broke.

I wish I was actually energized when I wake up in the morning.

Noo D':

Granted, but you become tired from the afternoon to when you go to sleep again!

I wish I had a plastic jug to hold water in.

Granted, but the plastic jug holds 50 gallons and is hard to carry around.

I wish my nose wasn't runny anymore

Granted, but now your throat is itchy.

I'm more concerned with how to clean that jug!

I wish the metal spoons at home were replaced with wood ones.

Granted, but every handle has splinters on it.

I wish I could decide what to eat

Granted, but all the grocery stores ran out of stock!

I wish there was a community garden around here.