granted but the syrup contains no raspberry and has a mild aftertaste of purple


i wish i had a shiny nickel

Granted, but it's so shiny that it is blinding to look at and you lose your eyesight, and it becomes an experience where people can only look upon it if they wish to never see again.

I wish to not go to work!

Granted, but a meteorite lands on your town destroying everything except your work place.


I wish I can open up a RPG message prompt and by pressing okay I can learn all the contents, words, and knowledge in the book by letter and understand it completely.

Granted but now everywhere you look all you can see is words and it drives you crazy!

I wish I had a back with no pain.

Granted, but it's someone else's back and it comes with 25% APR financing.

I wish this stupid Baker Brothers location would open again!

Granted! The Bakery has been reopened by the Manson family!

I wish for today to be like the other days of my life. Not having too much of that "jump out of your skin at everything all the time" feeling.

Granted!
Your day is anxiety free...but you broke your toe by stubbing it on the bed frame.


I wish I could poop glitter!

(Broken toe in exchange for no anxiety? Gimme!)

Granted! You are now a glitter-machine. You are no longer human.

I wish my friend was going to be okay...

Granted, but now they are imaginary.

I wish my food wasn't burnt.

Granted, but now it isn't even cooked!

I wish I could draw worth a damn!

Granted, but now you are forced to draw every second of every day for the rest of your life.....and you hate it.

I wish I could breathe underwater.

Granted, but you can only breathe underwater. And now you live in Arizona.

I wish I could catch this thief at work who keeps jacking CD's.

Granted, but you we're then murdered by the thief because there can't be any witnesses.

I wish I had the motivation to workout for a year.

Granted, but you only have the motivation to workout ever, and you're now on Pluto.

I wish I had a car.

Granted! But it's a future car, and no source of power exists for it yet.

I wish I had a working Sega Genesis.

Granted. However, it is so busy working on monitoring you that it can't work for you...and burns up your savings on electricity and internet.

I wish for no wish