(Again, why is something like that a bad thing?)

Granted, but it happened to be of the Snapping Turtle variety, so now you have to run for fear of getting bitten severely. Oh, and it's four times the size of a regular snapping turtle.

I wish for weight loss.

(o.o How did I forget to wish for something? Oopsie.)

Granted, but you don't ever stop losing weight to the point of being malnourished and eventually dying.

I wish I had a wolf that wouldn't ever eat me for a pet.

Granted, but the wolf runs off into the woods and finds it's own pack.

I wish for a penny.

Granted, but it turns out to be absolutely worthless.

I wish I had a camel.

Granted but it's very old, so it dies within the week you get it.

I wish for my own place.

Granted, but that place happens to be the sewers.

I wish I could turn my body into lava at will.

(...why do people always assume stuff like melting my family is a bad thing? Oh, and we don't have an annual Christmas party, just to let you know.)

Granted, but you are constantly asked for too much and expend the last of your fat and eventually die of the same malnutrition you saved others from.

I wish I knew how to ride a Pogo stick.

Granted, but once you stary pogo-ing you cannot ever stop.

I wish I could drive

Granted. You can now drive hovercars. Too bad there aren't any of those around.

I wish to get an A on all my exams.

Granted, but you get Fs on all of your homework assignments.

I wish I had goldfish.

Alright, and imagine your surprise when you find that it can sing in English! Unfortunately, it can only sing the song you hate the most over and over again.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, but only on weekends and you have to take off of airplane landing/takeoff pads.

I wish that all of my school work for this semester was completely done with myself having passed. 8D

You passed. But none of those classes actually counted for credit.

I wish for world peace 0n0

Alright, humanity goes extinct.

I wish I could speak Finnish fluently.