by making my internet slow and forcing me to whither away and die

(TROLOLOLOL)
kill me with poisonous cloud gas

(TO THE MOON! I should have named my self Trollestia.)

By setting my house on fire

Hurl discuses at me until one hits me in the plexus. Or head. Don't ask; that was the first thing that came to mind.

Haranguing with words and killing with puniness. XD

Killing me with spelling errors.

"Puniness"...I am in no way puny.

Killing me with fire

They would use the foot claws and drop me in the ocean O:

lift up her skirt and i'd die of shock

Lift up his skirting and let my nose bleed out >.>

I'd try to hug him but because it was a total surprise his quills (both hair and shoulder thingy) spike out and cause deep punctures through my upper body thus killing me with bloodless...would it have been better if I accidentally was stabbed in the heart this way? hmm...oh wait I'm contemplating my death. -___-"

tear my throat open with vicious sharp teeth

Probably sneak up behind me and scared me to death. -shrug-

whack me in the head with that staff untill i'm dead.

whack me in the back with that stick til i'm dead
original i know

Tickle me to death with the feather on their hat