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ml1201 11-01-2014 06:24 PM

*hugs Ginger*
If it makes you feel any better I don't have a Halloween costume, actually haven't for years because I couldn't afford to get/make one. ^^;

Tam I am 11-01-2014 08:44 PM

I made up a creepy kinda campfire story.



Quote:

Originally Posted by ml1201 (Post 1641569)
@Tam
A pet? What does it look like?

It wasn't the looks I was laughing at. It was the name they gave it.

ml1201 11-01-2014 08:51 PM

Ah, okay. XD What did they name the pet? :o

Tam I am 11-01-2014 09:09 PM

This is him and his name.


ml1201 11-01-2014 09:12 PM

They named a phoenix Steve? XD No wonder you thought it was funny. XD I would have named him Nova. :3

Lawtan 11-01-2014 09:58 PM

I like the story, Tam :D

Tam I am 11-02-2014 01:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lawtan (Post 1641710)
I like the story, Tam :D

Thanks! :p-grin:

Why?

Lawtan 11-02-2014 10:11 AM

Well, for one, it mixes Sci-fi with the sort of 50's horror. For another, it has an interesting twist on the nombies (Meant to type zombies, but mistyping left this funny variation - NOMBIES! Nom nom nom). Finally, you leave on a semi-cliffhanger, which often good horror does to various degrees (and bad horror tries to do and fails).

Some "show, not tell" would help, as would splitting up the paragraph to make it more readable (one may help the other). In other words, describe the despair felt at the cries of babes and women shrieking out in terror over the frozen earth shadowed by near-endless nights, until they died away in the morn. Build up the paranoia felt by the farming family, by spoken words.

daikokunyo 11-02-2014 12:38 PM

Lawtan!! *runs at you with outspread arms* I'm the most ravenous bookworm right now! I need some good crisp paper seasoned with lovely writing and thought your library would be just the place to find some!
*grabs Tam's story, stuffs whole into mouth* Mmm... Tam that was so CUTE! <3

Lawtan 11-02-2014 02:29 PM

*Bows* I bid you to enjoy my collection of public domain books to your heart's content.

*Is glomphed* You are most welcome

(Forgive me, but I have been writing, drawing, and listening to old Horror flicks where everyone talks like Vincent Price, Dracula, or screams xD)

*Flails* I am drawing the characters for my stories! Yes! Also, would it be bad taste to make a man with a deformed head, and wielding a whip made from a spinal chord...a medieval mechanic, horsemen, and a musician?

Tam I am 11-02-2014 02:35 PM

Lawtan, errr, could you show me what you mean?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dandelioness (Post 1641727)
*grabs Tam's story, stuffs whole into mouth* Mmm... Tam that was so CUTE! <3

LMBO! Thanks!

Den 11-02-2014 02:50 PM

I'm working on the first page of my comic... and listening to music on Spotify.

Lawtan 11-02-2014 03:29 PM

Umm, well;





That was what I meant. It was not really meant as criticism...more among the lines of "if you wanted to improve on the story...make it more of a short story...

ml1201 11-02-2014 05:01 PM

@Law
That's creepy. ^^;

Tam I am 11-02-2014 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lawtan (Post 1641733)
That was what I meant. It was not really meant as criticism...more among the lines of "if you wanted to improve on the story...make it more of a short story...

Ohhhh. Nah. I didn't think it was criticism. I like feedback. I wasn't really thinking short story when I wrote it, but more the kind of thing you tell while sitting in the dark, or around a campfire.

Also, can you imagine writing something up on this?

Lawtan 11-02-2014 05:24 PM

I'd sooner use ye old label/sticker device...

Or an actual typewriter...

It's the I-Watch of the 1900's


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