yep education systems suck. it doesn't make sense to train students into becoming so paralysed by the fear of failure because in ACTUAL REAL LIFE you need to be able to deal with failure and even more important, realise that something was out of your control and couldn't have gone differently.

also the thing with grades is they never measure what they're supposed to measure.
and a person can ace one system and fail in the next.

my mom says the point of the system is that it's competitive. it's not meant to bring out the full potential in everyone. it's supposed to break you, not nurture you. cause the point of the system is to filter out and eliminate, that's why they all say 'rat race' or 'survival of the fittest' yada yada. i think she's right. and that sucks. i feel sorry for myself and everyone else

survival of the fittest is only used to demean people that can't do much, and it's also used to uphold white nationalism / supremacism. it fucking sucks.

humans were aggressively social to the point where we domesticated fuckin wolves because of this shit, since they're also aggressively social. 'survival of the fittest' would never have worked back in the era where we all lived in caves and shit. we have documented shit telling us that we took care of our disabled and, hell, we still have the innate urge to help someone.

o-o Hmm. Come to think of it Barker, yehh. You got a point. <:/ Also puppos! <x} I love that dogs and wolves are like epic cousins separated by man's involvement in domestication. :D They still good bois and good girls!

I do kinda feel more at peace with a smaller more closely knit group of people who genuinely socialize and help one another out of sheer humanity, and more stressed in an environment where I'm expected to submit my best work and have it compared to the other people around me to determine my knowledge, skill, self-worth, etc. :]
I think I'll move to Alaska. xD And learn to make jewelry! Lol, maybe not. But, >u>; I'd probably feel a lot less lonely and hopeless than if I stuck around in a place where I feel really chained down with obligations, responsibilities thrust onto me. <:[ I unfortunately have to eventually learn how to cope and survive in this heartless system of making a living, but I'd rather learn in a place where I am encouraged and comforted than in one without guidance or consideration for my limited knowledge. I'm afraid my only skill is writing. ^~^; and I can't do much with it. Or maybe I could, <:/ but I don't.
Come to think of it, :/ I'm seriously in a strange point in my life, where I'm not sure where to go anymore, and my body and mind are suffering a bit. <:[ It might not be a bad idea to ask for help, and I definitely feel like I should focus on getting and keeping myself healthy and prepared to stand on my own two legs, BEFORE I get to working towards a career and degree. <:\ So many other college kids here have good schedules and good personal health, positive outlooks, and seem to be doing way better than me. :[ I hate over positivity, and it annoys me, plus I got some depression issues and terrible habits, and like, don't make too many friends for long, >u>; also might not be the best when it comes to social interaction (*cough* silent ghost girl *cough*), but I don't gotta change myself too much to better myself. /:]
At least I think so. :/ Sorry, off topic!

The only way I think I can enjoy a class, is if I enjoy the teacher. B]
I have had terrible, boring history classes, but one teacher in jr. high I had was a CHARACTER! 8[ Like a literal character. He used to work at Disneyland and used to tell us crazy uncensored stories from when he used to be a staff member.
XD I remember HIM, more than the class, but he made history CRAZY! And history IS crazy. x'D Holy hell, was he loud and loved teaching American History without being overly patriotic or one sided textbook reliant about it all. He spilled the tea! <x] His name was Mr. Lee, and he was not Asian. He was a short black man with a santa belly, major staff sergeant moustache, nerdy glasses, balding and greying curly hair, and a pet Halloween decoration rat he named Rufus. <x'} I can't believe I still remember this much about him! I once tallied how many times he said, "Okay!" in one class and it totaled up to something like 63 times. x'D And he made it IMPOSSIBLE for anyone to sleep in class, because guess what? If you slept, he quietly snuck over to you in your desk, and woke you up with a loud funny noise. x'D Oh man. This guy was amazing. Probably the craziest of the fun teachers I had that still managed to get us to learn history.
For example, I remember him instilling in us not to make fun of anyone's last name in history, because back then a last name carried with it familial significance, and though names like Gaylord aren't common anymore, there are descendants of these family names in history all over the place, and few names have died out as time has gone by. :] It was cool to learn about the 4 president assassinations in US history through his dramatic re-enactments. x']
Ahh, good times! I miss teachers like that, which are a rarity.

Our school system is a relic meant to shuttle kids through as quickly and efficiently as possible so they can join the Working masses.

Most teachers say the system is broken. Most students say the system is broken. Most medical and developmental professionals say the system is broken.

The only people that say it works are large corporations and certain lawmakers....

bah. school should be able to teach important life skills instead of shuttling us towards STEM and degrees and college and such.

like how to use a toaster.

I always hated how all the math I was taught to focus on went towards becoming an engineer, scientist or mathematician, rather than math I NEEDED after school was over! >8{ Like learning how to financially plan and balance wages!!
What sucks is that this WAS implemented in schools a while ago, since my grandma had been taught that, but all I learned in class was trigonometry, statistical equations, and other stuff I really didn't need to know. B[ And I'm never going to use. Yet, I don't even know the first thing about handling any sort of money! x{
Also what's the deal with making people write excessive argumentive essays and research papers instead of focusing on writing letters and resumes? 8{ It's important! And I didn't know how important it was until after school. <x{ Most of school felt like such a waste of time, and in my case money, <:c though I learned stuff and developed interests, I did not and do not care for the requirements being "you gotta have 3 years of math and language each and 2 sciences in order to learn what you want and complete your education." x{

we didn't have that in secondary school. not everyone is able to go to college to learn this shit, y'know?

ngl, i might want to start on birth control at some point, mostly because i don't want to end up getting pregnant. i'm seventeen, there's no way i'd be able to care for a child.

<x} I started birth control because my uterus was trying to kill me for NOT getting pregnant.
It's pretty great. Wish I had done this earlier in the year, but it was my fear of doctor conducted tests which prevented me for the longest time. >~>;
My periods tho, have since, been getting shorter, like three to four days short,
:D
AND way less intense and heavy! I'm not terrified every month anymore! <x} Thank you birth control!

this month's period started off as fairly heavy. i think i came on a couple of days before i was supposed to, uh. go to my brother's.

:} Damn periods. Thinkin' they can just come whenever the hell it's the least convenient! /x{ I once got mine RIGHT the second I was supposed to go up onstage to dance in my high school's dance festival.

oh dear lord.

<x'} Yehehehe, I came out of it okay luckily. Thank goodness I was prepared. o_o;

You sure learn things after your first few periods, like taking an extra pair of underwear with you, pads of different sizes, tampons, pain pills, gas tablets and extra water, all for emergencies. :] They came in handy when I needed them.

Also extra socks are important. Not for period emergencies, but for feet ones. x} Like if you step in a puddle or spill something in your shoe.
Also also, sometimes strangers might ask you for an extra tampon or pad or napkin or something, and if you got it, you can help them out. :] And vice versa.

gas tablets? you guys have tablets that help w/ releasing gas?

ngl, though, most period pains for me are pretty tolerable. i just have mild issues w/ feeling like i'm pissing myself. (/j, but in all seriousness, it's not very comfortable.)

iirc, i'm p sure it's safe to remain on birth control and not take a break for a week each month? like, the most you'll get is mild spotting.

The tablets relive bloating, discomfort and excess gas, so, I think it helps get rid of the gas when it's hard to release it? :/ *shrug* The bad ones taste like peppermint crème, x[ but the good ones taste like cherry. :]

:/ I guess it really is crazy different for everyone. The uterus is an enigma.

I've gotten spotting either before or after a period of mine when starting birth control. :] Now it's starting to mellow out. Though the idea for this low dosage medication is that I have four placebo pills at the end of a packet, >u>; and that's the time my period typically now occurs. sooo it should be coming any day now. I'm glad it's more predictable now, and not a random, rampaging demonic force of destruction. ^-^

yeah, that sounds like more towards medication to help control when your period starts and getting it into a routine. i think my sister was on that sort of medication, y'know?

:] Yuh huh. Regardless though, it's helped tame the menstrual monstrosity. ^_^ Hopefully keeping it at bay for a long while. Still gonna keep my period diary up to date. :] Seemed to really come in handy at the OB/GYN's office.

i always forget abt things but i'm sort of glad that i don't get bad pain on my period.

only mild cramping tbh. no idea if periods can affect your knees / legs.

Voidbarker, does your avi have freckles? Or are my eyes messing with me? D:

I almost had my first Pap smear a couple of weeks ago...
I was bleeding too heavily, though. :( So I have to go back to the doctor again soon to try again

<:c
I hope everything turns out okay for u Ava, and it's nothin' serious.

they could be smatters of cherry juice?

yeah it probably is freckles.

charlie's freckles is a better version of the freckles item, fight me.

:] Freckles was said too many times...now it sounds funny. cX
Freckles. Freckles. Freckles. Freckles. Freckles.
Frecklesfrecklesfreckles! x} Frrrrrreeeeeccccckkllllllesss.
Fr-eck-les. Fruu-eh-ck-ullssz.
>~>;...ok I'm done.

would be sort of nice if we could get vitiligo patches, but then again, the adam's body set can suffice, somewhat.

My dad has a crazy amount of freckles all over his back :O

I always wanted freckles ;-;
Freckles and dimples!

freckles are super neat, no idea what genetics cause them.

that's neat.

your husband sounds adorable x''D

freckles are where the melanin in the body pools instead of being appropriately spread out

he sounds very dashing, mekatra.

i have, like, two moles on my dominant hand.

I got a birthmark spot on the top of my back. :] It's the second biggest spot on me but it's like 1-2 inches, and shaped like a weird oval. :/ I don't got freckles, but my mum has some, very light ones tho.

I always thought freckles were cute :D

Did you know people can get them tattoo'd onto their faces, though?! :O

Your hubs sounds like a cute guy :D

Iiii did not know that! :/
But then again, people tattoo like, extra eyes and moles and stuff on them all the time. >.> That and permanent make-up is a thing..
<:/ eh. *shrug* If ever I were to get a tattoo, I'd have to think long and hard about it, and then somehow figure out a way to get through it since I'm not a big fan of pain, <x'} or needles. Owch.
I dunno how my fish-dad got through getting TWO of them. 8/ One on his arm and another on his calf.

My aunt actually had a beauty mark tattoo'd onto her face.
She was sweet, but whenever she did my makeup, she always put a "beauty mark" on my face lol

I liked it at first, but eventually I realized I didn't like it

I looked silly having a random black spot on my face.

I wouldn't mind getting a tattoo!
I am just too indecisive. I am prone to fainting, but when I got my nose pierced, I was able to handle it very well! I think I could handle a tattoo well too...
But things like injections and blood draws always make me dizzy and faint-y

i'd like to get a tattoo, but i have no pain tolerance.

also, the money to pay an artist to work on something that's effectively going to be permanent? yeah, no. think i'd stick to temporary.

<x} I'm kinda with ya Barker, hehe. Tattoos are kind of forever. /:} It'd be nice if there was a kind of tattoo that you could get that stays on all the time, but is easily removable once you get tired of it being there. :/ Like a henna tattoo but more longer-lasting?
Henna tattoos are admittingly pretty cool tho. -w- <3

@ Ava: Yeh! 8{ Needles kinda wig me out too. I once hid behind the curtains of a medical lab room to try and avoid the nurse from drawing my blood. <x'} Made her laugh. I guess I don't mind the tiny poke, but I get faint and dizzy if I look, or think about it too much. e-e; Like, blood needs to stay IN my body. I don't have much blood bc I'm tiny! <x'{ I might act like a tough cookie, but I crumble at the mention of a blood test. ;~; My arm dies when I get blood taken. Can't use it. So it's always from the left. I need my dominant arm to live! <x'D

can't stand needles, myself. i think i cried when i had to get injections for less of a chance to get breast cancer.

Injections for some reason I don't mind too much. :/ Even though they hurt way more than drawing blood. And sometimes you're sore there for a while. >-<;

But I guess it's the thought of blood leaving my body that makes me panic more than the thought of medication entering my body. <:/ Like, I know my body can make more blood, but it feels like the blood is gone forever and now I have been left with the remainder of blood to keep me alive, and guhhhfff!- It's just creepy and not fun! <x'{

your body is constantly making more blood, actually ^^ within a couple days you are good as new!


assuredly though i get a little heady thinking about other people's blood x___x i'm a bit weak, haha