Oof. Painful periods are the worst!

It's very brave of you to see the OBGYN. My mom has been trying to get me to get a Pap smear, but I'm too scared. It's long overdue too.. I heard they start when you're 21. I'm 24 now. ;-;
I find it's easier to take pills too rather than injections... At least for psychiatric meds, anyway. I've never been on birth control. :o

And I hope those drugs aren't dangerous! ;u;

<u< Tbh, you really don't need a pap smear unless you've been sexually active. They say around age 21 is when every woman should get one, because it's an average age that most women have started to be sexually active. >-> But I've never been. And I'm 25. That test is only to test the cells on the cervical wall for abnormalities. It's to screen for cervical cancer, not for any stds. Unless you have a family history of cancer/cervical cancer, you don't really need one. Though it depends on the Gynocologist, most will not give you a pap smear unless you make an appointment for it. I learned that on my visit with my OB/GYN. Though he suggested I should get one the moment I become sexually active, even though, >w> I never plan on doing so...
though I told him I would consider the exam should anything concerning rise up regarding my reproductive health, like abnormal bleeding, pain, or foul discharge. >->; And I was serious. I would go in for testing if anything like that came up. <-< Not worth avoiding deep discomfort for something potentially fatal to get worse.
Anyway, hope that helps. <:/ If you aren't comfortable with a pap smear or a physical examination, you don't have to have one, especially if your periods are healthy. <:] And docs are usually very very empathetic in explaining everything and dispelling common fears.
The doc put me on low dose hormonal meds, as they will usually do, just to gradually get your body used to it, and no side effects will be as strongly present. I haven't noticed any really. :/ But then again, I've only been taking them for a month or two, and haven't had much change other than my periods starting to ease up more and more. :] Which is great.

Hehe, no they were all natural Native American herbs, -u- and some antihistamine in the medicine. >u> Got me drowsier than a Koala bear. <-<; And then the indigestion hit.
But I fell back asleep. >u>
And didn't wake up 'til 10. <.<;
It was nice, and not nice, because the sunlight was just all over the place blinding me awake. >~>
And nice, because I got to stay a bit drowsy and laze around for a bit in peace. <u<

Oh! I thought so. I set up an appointment for a physical a few weeks ago and the person on the phone asked if I wanted a Pap smear and was like, "Noooooo!" But since then my mom's been like, "Hey, Ava, I think you should get the Pap smear done. It's not scary. It doesn't hurt." But I'm like, "noooooo~~~" I told her that I didn't think I needed one because I assumed they were only to check for cancer and I was right. Unfortunately, I am sexually active, but I don't want to go into detail about my sex life. I'm "kinda" sexually active, I'd say. I actually got treated for an STI back in 2015 and I cried in the exam room thing and I've been too nervous to see an OBGYN since.

That definitely helps, though, Merskelly! I'm going to really think hard about whether or not to get the Pap smear. I don't feel like I *need* it, but mom says it'd be good to have one done "just in case". People have told me cancer can happen at any age, so I guess better "safe than sorry".... ;A;
BUT. I'm going to think about it. >3< UGH! The joys of being a woman, right??

Aww! I like that. "Drowsier than a koala bear"! That's cute. C:
Are you still feeling sick? I hope you feel better soon! Did the sleep help you feel any less sick?
Sleeping can be a huge help in recovering from a bad cold!

Ahh, well, in that case I would get a pap smear to check for irregularities when I feel comfortable and brave enough. <:] Especially since you may be very sensitive and scared about the whole thing. They need a regular healthy testing of cells inside you to compare for if or when there is an irregularity. But again, if you have no history of cancer or cervical cancer, there's no rush. Cervical cancer rarely occurs in the 20s. More women in their late 30s-40s are at risk than in their mid 20s. So, no need to panic about it prematurely. ^-^ The joys of being a woman indeed! >m> </3

I feel more like I am a contaminated vessel with sickness all over me, unable to get into my body. =~=; So just very, "blahh", with minor symptoms. Doesn't help much that I stress more than the average person, and that I'm going to school early tomorrow morning...but this fish has a trick up her sleeve. >w>
I'm gonna get my rest, and I'm going to rid myself of this germ, all while catching up on schoolwork, by keeping myself in the more remote places on campus.
I understand that money and grade points are more important than my well-being,
but I'm learning to be more selfish, >w>
because it's so difficult for me, and it's not who I am entirely.
I don't need to spend an hour discussing the dramatic plots, themes and characters of a play. I need an hour to rest, shut my eyes, keep myself hydrated and fed, medicated, and work out the stress in a quiet, disturbance-free place I'm most comfortable being in. -w-
So that's what I'm gonna do. <3

we really need to figure out better screening things for people with uteri tbh. afaik, a pap smear is pretty invasive?

i would suggest getting one, ava.

Puh! I'm with you on that.
>u>
Money should really be going to better medical research and care, so, you know, we can implement better technology into screenings, exams, patient care, etc.
Also, into better schooling to educate others, so there's more understanding and open-mindedness and less fears in the world. >-> *cough* There are way too many people who have little to no knowledge of reproductive health, healthy nutrition and even basic anatomy.

honestly, yeah.

we don't even get taught how to do safe sex in school. it's awfully stupid, especially since the majority of people will stay in the legal boundaries of the law anyways. age of consent here is sixteen. (that's for teens fricking each other, not for an adult and a teenager to frick unless they're 17/18.)

I told my mom I would consider getting a Pap smear once I've already seen the doctor and am used to them. Unfortunately, since I am on government assistance, it's not likely the doctor I will see will still be there if I come back and get a Pap smear next year...!!! >:(

And I agree with you both!
I think we need better sex education in schools. I also wish we were taught about domestic violence and abuse, how to spot it, and how to get out of it. You know? When I was a teen, sexual abuse was never ever discussed. A lot of people my age at that time had very skewed ideas of what qualified as abuse. Bullying wasn't really discussed either, neither was gender identity...

We've come a long way as a society, though!
I graduated high school in 2013, so I don't know what they are teaching in schools now, but I hope it's gotten better

>-> Could have really used a whole class dedicated to mental health and spotting abusive behavior and action, lemme tell ya! I went through school with daisies in my mouth and the heart of a golden retriever, <u<; *cough* and left without a clue as to who I was, with more cynicism than tears in my eyes..

>m> *cough*...anyway,..
<x} anyone see any nostalgic movies recently? Or been wanting to??

I was already pretty cynical by the time I got to high school... xD

It helped me a bit when I started online high school. We still didn't learn anything worthwhile, but I felt much safer in online high school rather than the traditional high school. I think talking about abuse and mental illness would have been great to learn in online high school because you never see the other students' faces and you usually don't even see the teacher's face. During our "class" time, the teacher would just set up her desktop and have it shared with the rest of us and there was a chat option in the bottom corner, so if we had questions we could ask. Also, we got into some really good discussions that I feel would have been awkward to do in person.

Hmmm nostalgia? I don't think I've seen anything nostalgic lately...
I keep wanting to watch Inuyasha again, that was my favorite anime when I was a kid...
But I turn on the episode, listen to the intro song, then after that's over, I turn it off. xD
I just can't really get myself to get into it like I did as a kid!
;-;

Have you seen anything nostalgic lately, Merskelly? c:

voidbarker fucking dies from looking at a tumblr post about a bot on discord and what's essentially a recursive function

@ Ava: <x} I never got back to watching Inuyasha. I think I stopped when I felt like the story wasn't really going anywhere. hehe. I've been wanting to watch something nostalgic, but haven't had the means to yet. >.< I wanna watch The Prince of Egypt again! That was such a cool movie! Also I miss The Mask because it was crazy as hell! x'D

@ Mekatra: >.>; I dun wanna be that person but,.. <w< that's mainly why I watch most anime with English Subs.

@ Voidbarker: o_O;...I-...I don't know what to say to that. /x} *giggle-cough*

can i be that person? subs not dubs!

Yeah, *shrug*, go for it! <x}

me and another person also caused SSP to be completely unbootable via inducing an access violation error. this is done by using an envelope that calls itself, but apparently that's not normal behaviour and can be caused by SSP shutting down incorrectly.

i gotta wait and see if the gal's computer restarts and it fixes it, y'know?

Yeah it wasn't available subbed, so it was dubbed or nothing. Thus, nothing.

I don't watch much anime in general anymore... :(

i prefer subbed bc auditory processing is whack.

xD and it can help you learn Japanese? x}

found a fairly decent item for wilson's usual shirt.

x'D I have this alarm I set on my phone that goes off at 10pm to remind me that I should be going to bed around that time,
and I'm on my computer in the dark and the quiet,
and it went off buzzing behind my back where I'm sitting, and I forgot it was there,
and it gave me a spook! <x'D Haha, talk about a spooky Halloween moment, I thought a big bug was suddenly attacking my spine. Haha!
ahhh...then I shut the alarm off. >w>;

I should kinda head to bed tho I guess. <n<; mph...durn periud cramps..

oh, oof. do head to bed at your usual, though.

:] I think I'll shower too. That way I sleep feeling clean n' stuff. -u-
Also because I wanna get to video gaming early. 8{ I've been homeworkin' almost all day!
Btw, is it getting darker earlier or is it just the flippin' planet going through some kind of emo seasonal change?? x}

that's winter for ya.

also, be kinder to people. the seasons are changing and that tends to fuck with people's depression.

Yehh, <:/ I'm already polite, but extra politeness can go a ways, especially during the holidays. I ought to try giving out more compliments this season. :/ Like, "I like your shirt," and "Your hair looks great," and just the occasional thumbs up if they notice me. <:/

>-> I'm already feelin' at odds with my family, and woke up with the depressed feeling that I won't ever get to decorate anything or dress up, or do anything this year..
or celebrate much at all..
.which is what I usually always look forward to doing but, when it comes..it just goes. :/ It's all so sudden and sad..I almost don't wanna celebrate holidays now. >n>; But maybe my family will make me bake stuff and just leave the tree out and naked for me to deck it out..idk. Might just visit my dad in the mountains, just to breathe and get to decorate. :[ As it is, I just feel trapped n' sad down here rn..(again)

this is ehy you need a tiny lamp-sized tree. you can decorate those all year long x''D until about two years ago i'd dress it up for each holiday and each season change(it looked pretty with fabric flowers in it). since it is only for you there is no pressure to make it to anyone else's specifications and you could do whatever with it ^^ you'd be surprised how fun the crummy fake webbing and cheap spider rings can be

That sounds like a surprisingly fun idea.

i rarely get to decorate the dang tree.

Neither do I. In our family it's tradition the kids won't get to see the tree until the distribution of presents start. And you count as kid for that purpose until you have kids of your own, at which time you're promoted to parent. Which means I'm still going to be our "little one" aged ninety.

My family's tradition is that the tree is decorated within the first week of getting it in the house. <x} By whoever has the most decorative experience under their belt, usually a girl...or a child..or both. x'D It doesn't matter what the tree looks like, so as long as it has either an angel or a star at the top, and there's lights on it. Only I hate working with real trees because sometimes they're sticky and the needles fall off and there's a constant mess to clean up. <n< More so than if we had a fake tree instead.

>u> I go a little overboard however with the tree, and like to incorporate themes like, blue frost, purple frost, silver bells, poinsettia gold and red, random chaos, white Christmas, jolly colors, and one year I made the tree look a rainbow. :] We also have a toy electric holiday train now, so I can put it under the tree and watch it go in a circle. <x} It's super cute. Gifts can still fit around under the tree and if the gift is small enough I can put it in one of the train's cars. <xD It's so cute!

Please invite me for Christmas. I've always wanted my gift delivered by toy train.

My family and I stopped putting up a Christmas tree around 2015...
We had a really old, raggedy fake tree that we had since before I was even born.

We finally threw it away after 2014's Christmas...

And we never put up a new once since...

But if I'm being honest, I don't really want a tree anymore anyways.
Each and every year, I was the only one who even gave a damn about the Christmas tree... I usually decorated it myself by the time I was able to walk and stand on a ladder...
And on the off chance that it got put on in time, it would stay there all the way until March or April...
And it was always embarrassing as f*ck to have my friends come over in April and our Christmas tree was still up...

That situation always sucks. ;-; When you're the only one who wants to do something among a group of people/the people you live with. >x{ I was the only one who dressed up as a demon for Halloween one year, the only one who wanted to watch scary movies, put on Halloween music and give out the candy I collected while trick-or-treat-ing! >:{ I was frustrated as hell because everyone just vegged out on their phones, ate whatever Halloween cookies I made and stood in their pjs, watching drama shows. >n> So, now I just use Halloween to go shopping for Christmas I guess..ugh. <n< Didn't get to decorate this year either..

@ DbM: <x3 Get an electric toy train big enough to fit jewelry and a CD then! :D They're super cute and stuff!

It's always kind of a bummer when you're really into something and people around you don't really feel the same. :(
I think that's why it feels so good to have understanding and kind friends :D

i mean even if people aren't into the same things they should respect that you're into them. i think it's wonderful when people have something/s they're very passionate about, like i get to see their happiness, even if it's secondhand, even if i can't relate.

i have this one very annoying professor who disses everyone else's research interest but his own. makes me look forward to the day i'll pass out of grad school.

<:/ Yehh, those teachers are the worst. I just drop their classes now. So I don't have to deal with their sh*t. >n>
When I can't do things my way, I just grumble to myself and bite the bullet.
Or, depending on how upset I feel,
I take it upon myself to get it done my way,
even if it means sacrificing time, someone else's money, or getting scolded. Because dammit, >:{ I want happy things!

A little bit of my headstrong aries horns show
when I just bust down the garage door,
HAAAUL out decorations,
De-MAND a fake tree, >x}
Put up some lights outside,
>:D Slap some ribbons everywhere,
maybe a wreath or two,
and deck tha damn halls myself! >:}
Since nobody wanna help,
and since nobody gonna stop me,

that professor ain't a good teacher, man.

Ugh!

I hate teachers like that!
I also hate the school system in general... "grades"??? Like.. wtf?!

If I went on a job hunt and I got 6/10 offers that's pretty damn good.
But 6/10 in school is considered *BARELY* passing?!??! WHAT?!

If I got 85/100 answers on a test correctly... the teacher puts in big, red words "-15"...
Okay... but what about the 85 questions I GOT RIGHT?!!?

I don't like the grading system...
They try to make you "strive for 100%" but pointing out what kids do "wrong" doesn't make me think I'll try for 100%... It's impossible! It's not a realistic goal and I hate that schools try to put a "grade" on students' creativity... and half the shit we learn in school we never need for *real life* anyway >:T

/rantover