Granted: Congrats! Wish granted! But now everyone in your family comes to you for advice. Even on what to wear, when to shower, what to buy to eat, who to be angry at, who to go out with, what to feed the cat, how to use the sink.... you get the gist.

I wish there was a way to get to other planets, and still be able to return to earth.

Granted, but you are arrested for illegal immigration and served up for dinner, as is customary. Bon apetit!

I wish I'd stop misreading things!

Granted: But now you start mishearing and misSPEAKING things. Have fun trying to tell your mother you meant to say 'Wait just a sec.'

I wish I could tell everyone my secrets.

Granted, but your father asked you a question you don't have the answer right away.

I wish for a new book

Granted: It's been dropped in a puddle and the pages are ruined.

I wish to see the stars.

Granted; You'll see them as the space shuttle veers off course and heads straight into one.

I wish for a pillow

Granted, but it's sentient and tries to grab onto you!

I wish I knew what women wanted.

Granted: But in return, you also become one.

I wish I had some nachos right now.

Granted; but they cut up your mouth

I wish for a nonclingy pillow (-_-Cronis!)

Granted; but it's incredibly hard.
I wish the Grimlin at work would go away.

Granted; Now a little gnome is there to pester you.

I wish I had a soft nonclingy pillow

I LIKE IT HARD!

Granted; but you sink into it due to the softness.
I wish my back didn't ache.

Granted; however now your toe aches.

I wish for a tissue.

Granted, but they are Cobra Eggs, and they are hatching!

I wish I was as cool as Jayne Cobbe.